


Rewrite the Stars

by someone_who_believed



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Bigotry & Prejudice, Blood, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I've messed with the timeline so much, Injury, M/M, Mentions of death (not any of the main characters), Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Racism, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Unreliable Narrator, circus AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-05-13 04:03:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 47,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14741658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someone_who_believed/pseuds/someone_who_believed
Summary: “Why?” Nott asks, her voice coming out rough and coarse, “Why help us?”The tiefling, Molly, locks eyes with Nott and says, “I know what it’s like to be lost, alone, and in the need of some help. Someone took a chance on me, so I’ll take a chance on you. Whether or not you accept our help is your choice.”Or the Circus AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this ship just really inspires me and the plot would not leave me alone no matter how much I tried to avoid it. 
> 
> Circus AU where the Mighty Nein all end up in the circus in different ways. 
> 
> The fic will mainly focus on widomauk but I love all of the Mighty Nein so they will all make appearances and have their own parts to play. The timeline/order of certain events will be very different, and I will address the changes in the fic but feel free to call me out if there's something confusing. This first chap is going to be from Nott's POV, but after that Caleb will take over. Also, as of right now, there isn't any relation, hints, or plans to include anything from "The Greatest Showman" besides me stealing a song title. That might change in the future, who knows?
> 
> This will be my first multichap fic, so it's going to be an adventure but I'm actually really excited (and scared)! I have no beta, so all the mistakes are my own. Also thanks to the widomauk server for being awesome and encouraging.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

Nott knows fear. 

Sometimes, it feels like fear is the _only_ thing that she knows.

Growing up the way she did and looking the way that she does has made it so that fear has been her constant companion. Nott had been afraid of speaking out against the horrors that her clan used to commit, she had been scared when she had abandoned that life and freed that kind halfling, and she has been living in fear of being killed because of her appearance ever since then. Fear has always driven Nott. Fear has kept her alive.

So, Nott knows fear.

This is not fear.

As she looks at Caleb, her Caleb, _her boy_ , barely breathing, broken and bloody, she knows that what she is feeling isn’t fear. It’s terror. Pure and unadulterated terror. Her heart feels as if it’s about to beat right out of her chest, her hands are shaking even more than normal as she tries to stop Caleb from bleeding out, and she is holding back her tears. Crying will solve nothing. Nott knows that if she lets even a few tears fall, they will never stop. She cannot break now, she has to be strong for Caleb.

Caleb will not die here. Nott vehemently refuses to even entertain that idea. Someone as brilliant and amazing as Caleb will not meet his end by bleeding to death in some dirty alley. Caleb deserves more. They both do. They still have so much of the world to see and even more things to accomplish. They won’t be stopped just because some drunk and prejudiced idiot had nothing better to do than to start a fight. That’s not how their story is going to end. They’re going to survive this like they’ve survived everything else, together.

Nott clings to this idea as she continues to add pressure to the stab wound on Caleb’s side. She’s going over all the little tricks and spells she knows, some of which she has learned form Caleb, but she knows that she has nothing that can fix this. She hates her feelings of uselessness as much as she hates the sensation of Caleb’s blood underneath her hands. It’s warm and wet and she wants to be rid of it. Nott silently vows to herself that after they make it through this night, she’s going to drink herself into a stupor to forget the feeling of literally having blood on her hands.

A weak and strange sound draws Nott’s attention, and she tenses as she expects to see the belligerent man from earlier or even a crownsguard. As she peers down the alleyway looking out into the street, instead she finds Frumpkin. Nott nearly sobs in relief. In the chaos of it all, she had lost track of the cat but Frumpking has always been clever enough to find his way back to them no matter the circumstance. For a moment, Nott forgets what she’s doing and reaches out towards the familiar, about to coax him closer, when Caleb lets out a strangled moan.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Nott curses quietly, berating herself for taking her hands off Caleb. 

It seems as though the bleeding will never stop. She looks at Caleb’s face, pale, covered in sweat, and scrunched up in pain. Nott wants to help him so badly. She wants to take away his pain, brush the hair out of his face, kiss his forehead, and tell him that everything will be alright. But she can’t. 

Neither of them had any potions, and there’s no way Nott has any time or charm to convince someone to help them. Her hands are too preoccupied with Caleb’s wound to do anything else and Caleb has been barely conscious ever since they found some place to hide. She doesn’t know what to do. Nott has never been one for planning or strategy, she’s always left that to Caleb, and now that’s come to bite them in the ass. 

Something brushes up against her, and Nott looks down to find Frumpkin burrowing himself into her side. Even in the dim alleyway, Nott can tell that there’s something not quite right about Frumpkin either. Despite the dirty and rough appearance of his traveling companions, Frumpkin has always looked impeccable. Caleb used to joke about how at least one member of their group needed to look respectable, might as well be the cat. Tonight though, Frumpkin looks sickly and meek. His coat has lost it’s shine and there’s either dirt or blood speckled across it and his yellow eyes look unfocused and glassy. Caleb and Frumpkin have some magical bond that Nott doesn’t understand, but the fact that Frumpkin looks as terrible as Caleb does not bode well.

“Frumpkin,” Nott managed to croak out, and then winces immediately. Her voice sounds hoarse and even more jittery than normal, it makes her sound childish and lost. She cannot afford to be either. 

Nott takes in a deep breath, imagines herself taking a swig from her flask, and tries again, “Frumpkin, what do we do? We- we need to do something. We need to get help,” Nott shuts her eyes and takes another steadying breath, “Caleb can’t die here.”

When she open her eyes again, Frumpkin has disappeared from her side. Nott can feel the panic building up inside of her again until she spots the cat out by the road. Frumpkin stares at her, eyes still cloudy and distant yet Nott feels as though he is trying to tell her something. She’s not Caleb though, she doesn’t understand anything Frumpkin is saying or doing besides the fact that he is clearly leaving them.

When Frumpkin turns his head, Nott finds her voice again, “Wait!”

The word seems to echo around them, filling the silence with desperation and sadness.

Frumpkin does not move.

“Please,” Nott beggs, “Please don’t leave.”

Her voice breaks on the next words, “Please don’t leave him like this.”

Frumpkin looks at her, at them both, and seemingly bows his head. Then he disappears.

Rage is easier to focus on than terror, so Nott lets anger consume her. All the hatred and anger she has ever felt for goblin-kind, for people that have treated her like dirt, for everything that has even gone wrong, for being abandoned once again, for the unfairness of the world, she lets it all take over.

“Fine you stupid cat! Leave! Leave like everyone else and don’t you ever come back! Some familiar you are! We don’t need you! Fuck you! Fuck everyone!” Nott hisses through the tears.

“Fuck.”

The spark of anger leaves just as quickly as it had come. Nott is left with nothing but hollowness and fear once again. It’s just her and Caleb against the world, as always. As time passes, Nott can do nothing but hope it will all work out somehow. She sniffles and tries to stop crying, but she never had been good with controlling her emotions before.

“Caleb,” Nott whispers softly, “when you wake up we are going to drink so much trost, okay? And I’m going to steal that stupid expensive book you were looking at earlier. And then we’re going to get out of this dumb town and never look back. This place is a dump, they don’t even have tasty rats here.”

For a moment Caleb doesn’t so much as stir, he’s so still that it’s difficult to tell if he’s even breathing, and Nott’s heart nearly stops until she hears him mumbling quietly in Zemnian. She has no idea what he’s saying and his voice is absolutely wrecked, but he’s alive and that’s all that matters.

She wants to hold his hand so badly, to ground him somehow, but all she has are her words, “You know, you should really teach me more Zemnian. I think it’d be useful in a con and,” she hesitates, “and you always seem a little happier whenever I try to speak it.” 

The tears continue to flow, but now Nott has to fight back a sob. Why is it so hard for her to have nice things? For her boy to have nice things? She may not know Caleb’s past but she knows him now and knows he deserves the world. Unable to look at Caleb any longer, Nott looks up at the night sky and prays for a miracle to whatever deity is out there listening.

Nott knows better than to trust the universe, but maybe, just this once, it will be kind. 

“You know, your cat is kind of a dick. If I see him again I really might eat him this time,” Nott admits, still looking up at the stars.

“That’s rather harsh. Especially when the little guy led us back to you.”

Nott nearly jumps at the voice that is distinctly not Caleb‘s. Nott’s immediate and instinctual reaction is to let out an animalistic growl, baring her teeth and narrowing her eyes at whoever had just spoken. Most people would have run from the sight but the figure just seems to shrug and comes closer.

As the stranger approaches, Nott considers all her options. Her crossbow is right by her side and there’s a dagger strapped to her thigh, but if she tries to fight Caleb’s condition could get worse or he could even be targeted and used against her. Nott had also picked up on the “us” the stranger had used, and although she can handle herself, Nott’s not really confident in her chances of fighting a group. There’s nothing she can do. No way out.

“Not really the friendly type are you? Also, may I say, from personal experience I know for a fact cats taste horrible. You can maybe make the taste bearable with enough prep, but that’s far too much work.” 

With one hand, Nott tries to angle Caleb closer to her but it’s no easy feat, especially when she is also trying to keep an eye on the stranger. He’s close now, and at this distance Nott is able to make out his tiefling features. She’s never met a tiefling before, but she’s heard horrible stories about them from her clan. The clan had called them demons; not quite human, not quite beast, but they supposedly had the worst traits of both. The elders had said that tieflings would take the disobedient and rowdy younglings from the clan at night. According to the stories, tieflings only stole away the troublesome younglings because the little goblins were always up to mischief and moving around, making them visible targets for the tieflings with poor eyesight. Nott had always thought the stories were bullshit, and still does, but she’s not taking any chances and is holding perfectly still. She hates that she is relying on old knowledge from the clan, hates that she is judging someone for what they look like rather than who they are, but she cannot afford to be kind because Caleb and her could both die then.

The lavender tiefling looks at her expectantly, raising an eyebrow, “Not the talkative type either?”

Nott holds her ground and adamantly refuses to move or speak.

It turns out she doesn’t need to because Frumpkin seemingly comes out of nowhere and jumps onto the tiefling’s shoulders. Instead of attacking however, the cat rubs up against the tiefling and purrs softly. 

“You fucking traitor,” Nott hisses, leaning forward and accidentally jostling Caleb in the process, who grunts out in pain. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry Caleb.” Nott whispers, “I’m so, so sorry.”

When she looks back up, she finds the tiefling is now crouching down and is nearly eye level with her.

His eyes unsettle Nott the most.

Red like Caleb’s hair in the sunlight.

Red like Caleb’s blood on her hands.

“Hey now,” the tiefling says in a soft voice. Nott can see that he is armed, two swords are attached to his hips, but the tiefling has yet to draw them out. In fact, he looks almost concerned as he looks over Caleb, like he actually cares about what would happen to strangers he just met.

“Listen, I have no idea what happened to you and honestly, I don’t really care, but your friend looks like he could use some help and that’s what we can give you.” He gives Nott an appraising look, and Nott wonders what he thinks of them. She wonders if he’s a demon like in her clan’s story or if he’s the miracle she’s been waiting for.

The tiefling gets up, careful not to dislodge Frumpkin from his shoulders, and dusts himself off, “It’s up to you. The name’s Mollymauk by the way, Molly to my friends.”

“Why?” Nott asks, her voice coming out rough and coarse, “Why help us?”

The tiefling, Molly, locks eyes with Nott and says, “I know what it’s like to be lost, alone, and in the need of some help. Someone took a chance on me, so I’ll take a chance on you. Whether or not you accept our help is your choice.”

“Molly!” someone yells from the street and Nott can just make out a tall woman and an elven man. The woman speaks up, but does not get any closer, “Is everything alright?”

Molly pets Frumpkin again and looks back at Nott, “I don’t know, is it?” he asks challengingly.

Nott looks at the demon and miracle in front of her and already knows her answer, “Yes.”

Molly smiles back at her.

Nott smiles back weakly and hopes for another miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to make it clear that Nott is scared out of her mind, and is not exactly thinking straight. She doesn't care that Molly is a tiefling, not really, she's more afraid of him being a random stranger that could potentially hurt her and Caleb. I promise that Nott and Molly's relation is going to develop and hopefully be something really wonderful. I also promise that Caleb will actually be conscious in the next chap and we can really get this show on the road. This first chapter is pretty heavy, but there will be happier and flirtier times mixed in with the rest of the fic!
> 
> I love and appreciate everyone's comments, kudos and bookmarks!
> 
> Come and talk to me on my [ tumblr](http://someone-who-believed.tumblr.com/) about this fic, widomauk, Critical role, or even just to say hi!


	2. Chapter 2

Caleb so rarely dreams, but when he does it’s never pleasant.

When he was younger, unbroken and innocent, he had happier dreams. Back then he used to dream of magic, of his promising future, and of the people he loved. It had been nice. He still dreams of the people he loved, but instead of picturing them having dinner at home, he now sees them burning in their home.

He sees his home in front of him now.

Caleb has perfect memory and is no fool, not any longer. He knows that he had just been with Nott at some local and rundown tavern. He remembers how his goblin friend had wanted to refill her flask when some man at the bar took issue with her. There had been shouting, weapons were drawn, and chaos ensured. The wizard can recall how he had been all of out spells when he noticed someone with a knife sneaking up behind Nott. He remembers running, followed by a brief spike of pain at his side. Things get hazy after that.

So Caleb _knows_ that he could not be back at his childhood home in Blumenthal. He _knows_ that he must be dreaming or under some kind of illusion. He _knows_ that none of this could be real. He destroyed that life himself, he _knows_ this. Yet, although he knows all these things, it’s somehow difficult to accept when it’s right in front of him.

Standing outside, Caleb can see through the little window of his modest home. He sees his parents, happy and alive, and something inside Caleb breaks a little. He watches as his mother, his beautiful mother, flitters about. Her face is flushed, blue eyes bright, and she seems to be singing as she cleans. Somehow, despite the distance, Caleb manages to hear her voice. It’s soft and airy, and it nearly brings tears to Caleb’s eyes as he listens. He remembers how his mother used to sing him to sleep and how it would never fail to put him at ease. Growing up, Caleb had always been told that he looked so much like his mother, but he wishes he had more of her personality. She had been so kind, vibrant, and strong, everything Caleb is not. Instead, Caleb takes more after his father, whom he idolized as a child. His father was a quiet and awkward man, but he always encouraged Caleb’s thirst for knowledge. He tried to give Caleb everything he never had as a child. Caleb sees him now, sitting at the dining room table, watching Caleb’s mother with a look of adoration. It’s such a mundane scene, boring in comparison to some of the things Caleb has experienced throughout his life, but he would give anything for it to be real.

Wanting to get a closer look, Caleb steps forward only for him to be tugged back. He turns and sees Eodulf and Astrid, both looking at him with judgment in their eyes. In an instant Caleb is filled with nausea and dread. He cannot stand the sight of them. They are stupid and zealous youths, confident in their cause and in themselves. They know nothing of the lies they have been fed or the depths of their atrocities. 

“No, no, no. _Nein_. Gods, please no,” Caleb begs, “Please not again.”

But he knows what’s going to happen next is inevitable.

When he turns back around, the house is already engulfed in flames. Everything is burning. There’s no way to control the fire, no magic that Caleb has can save them. His magic has only ever been good at destruction. So Caleb stands helplessly as the flames claim his family once again. He listens as his mother’s song turns into screams of agony. He watches as his proud father desperately tries to find a way out. Caleb forces himself to take it all in and hates himself just a little bit more.

“Caleb, what are you doing?” A familiar voice asks him.

Caleb’s blood freezes in his veins. This is worse. This has never happened before.

Caleb looks down and finds Nott holding Frumpkin in her arms and staring up at him. She looks so confused and anxious. Her eyes keep darting from Caleb’s face, then back to the fire that only seems to be growing. Caleb wonders how much she knows.

“Caleb, I think we should go help them.” Nott bites her lip, a look of frustration and confusion crosses her face, “I just, I don’t know, I feel like no one should die like that. It’s such a horrible way to go. So much pain.”

Bile rises up to Caleb’s throat. It _is_ such a horrible way to go.

“Nott,” He manages to choke out when he finds his voice, “ We can’t. There’s nothing to be done. Those people in there, they’re already dead,” his voice cracks at the last word, “and even if they weren’t, they would probably wish that they were. There’s nothing left to save.”

Caleb couldn’t save his family then and he can’t save them now.

“Caleb,” Nott says sadly, sounding so much older and wiser all of the sudden, “you give up far too easily sometimes.”

And with that, Nott and Frumpkin run into the flames.

“NOTT!”

But it’s too late. 

He’s always too late.

The flames disappear, but something worse takes its place.

“Leave,” Caleb seethes, his voice dripping with hatred, “I am done with you.”

“Ah, but I am not done with you, my _precious_ student.” Trent Ikiton replies with a smile that does not reach his eyes.

Caleb feels himself shake and he’s not sure if it’s from fear or from anger or possibly both at once. He slips his hand into his coat pocket, intent on pulling out his diamond to use for his spells and as something to focus on. He needs to center himself, he cannot let Trent get to him anymore. Caleb so desperately wants to be free from this nightmare, free from Trent, but that seems impossible. 

“You are a relic of the past. You are nothing. You have no power over me.” Caleb looks Trent in the eye and his grip on the diamond tightens, “Fuck. Off.”

Trent merely laughs mirthlessly, “Such language! Time really does change some things.” Trent’s gaze shifts into something akin to pity, “But it does not change everything, Caleb Widogast.” 

“I do not have time for this nonsense.” Caleb spits out, hoping that the fear in his voice goes unrecognized by his former teacher. Caleb walks past Trent into the darkness, trying to get as far away as possible from the other man.

“You’ll never get rid of me.” Trent calls out behind him, “Don’t you want to know why?”

Caleb picks up his pace and refuses to look back.

“It’s because you are me, my dear boy.”

Caleb runs.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Caleb wants to scream but there’s no sound coming out.

He’s awake now, he thinks. He isn’t really sure anymore. He feels disoriented and terrified. His heart is beating rapidly inside his chest, his eyes are stinging, and his hands are not only shaking but are also on fire. Caleb can’t seem to put them out.

He feels himself panicking.

“Oh! Looks like sleeping beauty is finally awake. You sure-” the accented voice cuts off.

The sudden appearance of a tiefling kneeling by his side startles Caleb enough that he nearly sets the bedroll underneath him on fire. 

“Hey now, we just went through the trouble of saving your life, I’d hate to see the effort wasted.” The tiefling says as he gently but firmly grabs onto Caleb’s forearms, careful to avoid the flames protruding from the wizard’s hand. 

“As a thank you, I’d appreciate it if you don’t burn this tent down. It’d save us both the trouble of facing off against a very angry barbarian woman.” The man then looks deep in thought, “I’d also like to avoid getting a lecture on fire safety. Again. Twice was enough, thank you.”

“What?” Caleb asks, unsure if he’s asked the question in Zemnian or common. He’s so confused and as he looks around the area he realizes that nothing is familiar. The fire in his hands flicker in his hands, slowly growing as his agitation rises. 

“Oi,” the tieflings voice is softer now.

Caleb’s right hand is set down, palm side up beside him. The tiefling now has one hand holding Caleb’s left arm, while the other is carefully cupping Caleb’s chin, guiding Caleb’s face until they are looking at each other, eye to eye. 

The other man gives Caleb a reassuring smile as he wipes away a tear on Caleb’s face with his thumb.

“Breathe for me, sweetheart. Deep breaths. It’s okay. You’re safe now. Nothing’s going to hurt you while you’re here. You’re okay.” The man’s voice is so warm and alluring, Caleb’s almost tempted to believe him. But he doesn’t, not while Trent’s last words still echo in his mind.

“Believe me, you are. If you weren’t, I think that goblin of yours would have my balls in her napsack.” The tiefling jokes.

“Nott?” Caleb croaks out, his voice wrought with emotion.

“Yeah, Nott. She’s safe. You’re safe. Your cat is safe. You’re all safe.” It’s the first time that the tiefling sounds serious, and the weight of his statement nearly makes Caleb breathless.

“ _Danke_ ,” Caleb says and wishes he were in a better state of mind to express how grateful he truly is to hear about his traveling companions. Although the image of Nott and Frumpkin surrounded by flames will forever be imprinted in his mind, Caleb feels more at ease knowing that they are in no immediate danger.

“Good. Now that that’s settled, maybe we can work on this.” Caleb feels the hand that had been on his face slowly travel across his chest and down his right arm, stopping right above the flames. It’s strange. The other man’s touch isn’t sensual or clinical, rather it’s warm and comforting in a way that Caleb hasn’t felt in a long time. He wonders if this is normal or if he’s been starved for contact for far too long.

“Think you could maybe put out these flames, hot stuff?” The tiefling asks teasingly, but there’s an undercurrent of worry that Caleb’s all to familiar with.

“ _Ja_ ,” uncertainty tinges Caleb’s voice, but he closes his eyes, steadies himself, and tries. 

He hears the stranger sigh and Caleb opens his eyes.

No fire.

_Danke._

Relief floods Caleb’s senses until the other man’s laugh puts him on edge all over again. Caleb doesn't know what part of their situation could be considered funny, but he isn’t about to ask. He’d rather not speak unless strictly necessary.

“Alright, well then, at least you’re not boring.” The tiefling grins, and Caleb’s not sure what to make of the look of intrigue in his eyes.

“Okay, first things first, do you want me to keep touching you?” Once the tiefling finishes his question, Caleb immediately realizes that he’s still being held. He tears his arms out of the other man’s hold and the abrupt movement aggravates the stab wound on his side. Caleb winces and hopes that he isn’t bleeding.

“Woah, yeah, okay I probably should have worded that better but there was no need to be that enthusiastic about getting away from me. I’ll have you know that I usually get a very different response.” The man says, an eyebrow raised and apparently appraising Caleb’s condition.

“Really though,” the man says slowly, “I’m only offering because I know that sometimes having someone with you can help.”

“Help?” Apparently Caleb’s mind refuses to form full sentences.

“With the nightmares,” the man says simply, as if Caleb’s nightmares hadn’t just made him relive the worst day of his life and somehow make it even more traumatic.

The tiefling is still watching Caleb with an intensity that unnerves the wizard, “Having someone else touch you can give you something to focus on, get you out of your head. I wouldn’t do anything that would make you uncomfortable, I swear. That would defeat the purpose. I just want to help you, not hurt you. Offer still stands, if you want.”

In any other situation Caleb’s reply would be a swift and resounding _‘No.’_ That’s what he should be saying now. He should be turning down the offer without a single thought. He doesn’t though. Caleb is not good with other people, he is uncomfortable in almost every social interaction, and touching others is something he rarely does; by all accounts this is a bad idea, but something makes him hesitate. Something actually makes him want to say _‘yes.’_

It’s the fact that the stranger’s touches from earlier had grounded him. It had made Caleb feel a little less unhinged. It had made him feel confident that he wasn’t trapped in the hellscape that his subconscious had designed. It had made him feel real and, Caleb could quietly admit to himself, it had even made him feel safe.

But Caleb isn’t sure how to accept that, isn’t sure he deserves kindness or relief like this. In frustration, Caleb clenches his hands into fists and purses his lips together. The silence and clear frustration radiating from Caleb must finally wear on his companion’s last nerves because the tiefling lets out dramatic sigh and appears to be ready to move from his sitting position.

Caleb shuts his eyes, both disappointed and relieved that the choice is now out of his hands. He fully expects for the man to leave Caleb alone in the tent with his musing, but instead Caleb feels his presence shift closer. The wizard’s eyes immediately shoot open to find the tiefling even closer than before, lying next to him. They’re not touching but it wouldn’t take much for that to change.

“Listen for a moment, _ja_?” Caleb must have made a face, cuz the man snorts. “Apologies for butchering your mother language with one word.” 

Caleb can’t bare to stare at the man’s eyes, but listens nonetheless, “I don’t know you. You don’t know me. We’re complete strangers. That means you don’t have to put up any pretenses right now. I don’t give a flying fuck about your past or your nightmares. That’s your business. What I care about right now is that you’re staying in this tent with me and I’d rather not have a repeat performance of what just happened.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Caleb can see the tiefling’s gaze shift from Caleb and turn to the top of the tent.

“There’s no shame in having feelings or asking for help you know. Life’s too short for shit like that. So, I’ll ask just one more time and I’ll respect your decision either way. Do you want me to stay and help you?”

And Caleb, physically and emotionally exhausted, gives in, “Yes. I just-” he cuts himself off, at a loss for words, “I just don’t think I can be alone right now.”

“So you _can_ speak in full sentences, and in common no less.” There’s humor in his tone and Caleb is amazed at how anyone would be able to be so calm in such a bizarre situation. Still trying to understand the man before him, Caleb nearly misses the tiefling’s next words, “I won’t leave you alone.”

“Okay, I’m going to try something. Stop me if you’re uncomfortable with anything.” The tiefling moves slowly and carefully, always watching Caleb’s expression for any signs of discomfort and repeatedly asking if the other man is alright.

Caleb ends up lying on his good side, pressed up against the tiefling. His head is resting on the other man’s chest, and there’s a arm wrapped around his shoulders. The other man is warm and the sound of his heartbeat is unexpectedly soothing.

Caleb can feel his eyelids drifting shut but he’s afraid of what awaits for him in his dreams.

“Hey,” he hears the soft whisper accompanied by a gentle squeeze of his shoulder, “it’s okay. Sleep now. No more nightmares, no more fire. You’re okay.”

Caleb so desperately wishes all of that were true.

“No more fire.” he whispers back, almost like a prayer.

And then Caleb sleeps.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Where is my friend?” Caleb asks and then squints, “And are you reading my books?”

The lavender tiefling grins, mischief clear on his face, and shuts the book he had been looking at with a resounding thud, “And a good morning to you too! My name’s Mollymauk Tealeaf by the way, Molly to my friends.”

Caleb nods, grateful that the other man does not seem to want to address what had transpired between them last night, before reluctantly introducing himself, “I’m Caleb Widogast, at your service.”

“Oh, are you now?” Molly practically purrs, and Caleb is momentarily reminded of Frumpkin. Now that he has more presence of mind, Caleb is able to take in more of the tiefling’s appearance. From what Caleb can tell, Molly is quite attractive. He has gorgeous lavender skin, wavy purple hair, and a ridiculous amount of jewelry adorning his horns, ears, and neck. His entire aura screams confidence and a bit of danger. Caleb wonders why a man like that would hold a stranger throughout the night to fend off nightmares.

Coming back to himself, Caleb goes over the question and blinks at Molly, confused, “Yes that is my name, I would not lie about that. Also, you did not answer any of my questions.”

Molly laughs loudly, clearly entertained, “No, I meant the ‘at your’- you know what, never mind. Which friend, the cat or the,” and he trails off before hunching over and hissing at everything.

“You should know that your imitation of Nott could’ve just as easily been mistaken for an imitation of Frumpkin.” Caleb says, pauses, and then adds, “Or of half of this town’s population.”

“Oh so you have jokes now?” Molly asks as he approaches Caleb, “And only half of the town? Someone’s being generous.”

Caleb briefly makes eye contact with Molly before looking away, “I’m in a good mood. I slept well. Thank you.”

“Oh,” Caleb chances another glance once he hears the genine sound of surprise coloring Molly’s tone. Some emotion Caleb cannot identify passes through the tiefling’s face, before a genuine and awkward smile replaces it.

Caleb suddenly gets the urge to clear his throat, “So, Nott and Frumpkin? And were you reading my books or not?”

“Are you sure you want to hear this?” Molly asks, seemingly reluctant to tell Caleb anything.

“Of course.” But Caleb’s the words come out sounding as more of a question than an answer.

“Well, you were pretty badly off, stabbed and poisoned. The treatment wasn’t cheap so Nott and Frumpking went off and took up some jobs. Right now they’re out hunting gnolls to collect their dicks and turn it in for reward money. It’s a weird niche market.” Molly says solemnly, “Frumpkin’s surprisingly scrappy in a fight, you should be proud. He collected 3 dicks in half an hour. I’m actually quite impressed.”

Caleb just stares at Molly in disbelief. 

“Okay, the truth is that Nott tried to eat Frumpkin.” Molly says calmly.

Caleb runs his hand through his hair, clearly annoyed, “Mollymauk, please.”

“You’re not really a morning person, are you? I’ll tell you the truth, don’t make that face, but the little goblin girl really did threaten to eat your cat. I was honestly a bit worried leaving them alone together. Anyway, Nott and Frumpkin have practically been glued to your side since you got here. The only times they haven’t been here is when Yasha manages to lure them away to take their mind off of everything. They’ve all bonded surprisingly well.” Molly makes a disgusted and confused face, “Something to do with rats, I think?”

Caleb wonders if they truly did bond over rats or if it’s only more of Molly’s bullshit.

Molly continues, “Also, I wasn’t reading your books. Reading implies that I would be able to understand any of that gibberish.”

“It’s Zemnian,” Caleb says as he slowly gets up from the bedroll and heads to the table with his books. He ignores the fact that Molly trails behind him.

“Isn’t that what I said?” Molly replies cheekily.

Caleb makes a noncommittal noise of acknowledgment. He’s more focused on making sure that none of his books are missing or damaged. His mind is somewhere else and his guard is down when he answers, so Caleb’s mouth runs away with him, “I’m surprised. I got the distinct impression that you would’ve been fluent in gibberish. Isn’t gibberish rooted in bullshit? You should understands the basics at least.”

Molly sends him an amused smile, his eyes sparkling in delight, “Flatterer. I’m a man of many talents but even I have my weaknesses, languages being one of them. I suppose I can make an effort, just this once. After I master Zemnian gibberish I’ll be sure to let you know.“

It’s at that moment that Caleb exhausts the last of his ability for normal social interaction and stops talking. He expects Molly to leave, but the tiefling remains patiently by his side, not bothered at all by Caleb’s silence as he scrutinizes his books. He even seems somewhat interested in watching how delicately Caleb treats his books. His eyes follow Caleb’s fingers as they trail across the spines of the each book and leaf through the pages.

Only after Caleb looks through the last book does Molly speak up again, “Satisfied?”

“I just need to find my jacket.”

Molly, seemingly out of nowhere, shoves Caleb’s jacket into his hands.

Molly looks at him eagerly, “Now?”

The tiefling is far too excited for Caleb’s comfort, but the ginger man nods anyway. He quickly places his jacket on and sorts his books before anything else can happen. The familiar weight of his jacket and books helps take the edge off of some of the restlessness he had been feeling since he first woke up.

“Excellent!” Molly exclaims, “Now we can finally start the tour!”

“Tour?” Caleb inquires, the feeling of dread settling into his stomach. He isn’t sure what to expect, but the more time he spends with Molly, the more he feels like he’s getting involved in trouble.

Molly is outright smirking at Caleb at this point, “Welcome to the Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities, hot stuff!”

“Hot stuff?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly swear that this chapter was supposed to be more lighthearted than the first one, but Caleb's subconscious was not having it. Trent is awful and I apologize. Finally some widomauk at least! I love writing Molly, I really do. This chapter was a rollercoaster of emotions for Caleb, and Molly just goes with it. This update happened quickly because I had some down time before my summer courses start, so from now on updates will probably be a bit slower. I really cannot wait to share the rest of it though.
> 
> Anyway, thank you to everyone who has commented, subscribed, left kudos, and bookmarked this fic! I love you guys, you are amazing. Special thanks to CodeSculptor for noticing my mistakes and helping me fix them in the last chap. All the mistakes in this chap are my own, I may start looking into getting a beta soon.
> 
> Please let me know what you guys think and feel free to talk to me on my [tumblr](http://someone-who-believed.tumblr.com/) if you want!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, this chapter is longer than both the previous chapters combined. Oops?
> 
> All the mistakes are my own. Again thank you to the lovely CodeSculptor for noticing my mistakes in the previous chapter and helping me fix them.

“I don’t think that this is really necessary,” Caleb protests weakly as Mollymauk guides him to the opening of the tent.

“Necessary? Of course not.” Molly says good naturedly, “But if you only focus on what’s necessary, you’ll often miss out on all the fun.” 

Molly holds open the tent flap and looks at Caleb expectantly. The wizard wants nothing more than to channel Frumpkin’s senses to find both the familiar and Nott, but as long as Molly remains by his side he can’t. The tiefling had already seen Caleb in a vulnerable position, he’s not eager for the other man to see him in another. So Caleb has no choice, he steps out of the tent and ignores the look of satisfaction that is apparent on Molly’s face.

Caleb bites his lip and glances around the open area, hoping to catch a glimpse of Nott or Frumpkin and tries to hold back a sigh of disappointment when he’s only greeted with the sight of tents. “Forgive me, but your version of fun sounds more like trouble and a waste of both of our time.”

“And you seem like a man that avoids trouble, now don’t you?” Molly asks as he pointedly looks at Caleb’s injured side. Caleb grimances and hunches in on himself more, wishing that he could disappear.

“You didn’t deny what I said,” Caleb points out, avoiding Molly’s question and look of curiosity completely.

Molly’s answering grin has an almost predatory look about it, “That I did not. Rest assured, it won’t be a waste of your time. Whether or not it’s trouble depends on how you play your cards.” His accent seems thicker as he says the last part of the sentence. It’s difficult to get a read on the man so Caleb can’t discern if he’s supposed to take Molly’s words as a threat or something else entirely. Strangely, Caleb isn’t scared. He may not like the being scrutinized and dragged around by Mollymauk, but he isn’t afraid of tiefling. Not after last night.

“Or, perhaps, how the cards play you.” And before Caleb can question what that means, a card is thrusted into his face. 

It’s a tarot card.

Death. 

“You know, people accuse me of having poor manners,” Caleb starts.

“You don’t say,” Molly interrupts, mirth evident in his voice.

“- but I believe that yours might be worse than mine.” Caleb finishes, still studying the card. For something supposedly signifying death Caleb actually finds the card quite beautiful. It depicts an elvish woman and a raven in hues of reds, purples, and blacks. What really captures his attention is the woman. It almost seems as though she is looking right at him, her face some strange mix of excitement and maliciousness. It’s both off putting and captivating. Caleb is almost tempted to reach out and take the card, just to see if there are any real magical properties to it. 

Molly’s snort brings Caleb back to their conversation. The Zemnian man watches as Molly slips the card back into his deck, held by his other hand. That hadn’t been there before, or at least Caleb hadn’t noticed it before. He makes a mental note to keep better track of his belonging around Mollymauk from then on. Admittedly though, Caleb is a little impressed at Molly’s dexterity. As he watches Molly shuffle the deck, Caleb can’t help but remember how gentle and warm Molly’s hands had felt. The wizard barely suppresses a shiver at the memory and he hopes that his face gives nothing away.

“Rude. I am but a humble vessel by which the cards work through.” Molly says with a flourish as he slides his deck inside the pouch hanging by his waist. “Besides, the death card isn’t bad. It’s more about change and new beginnings than actual death.”

Molly nudges Caleb, a teasing smile on his lips, “Then again, maybe it is literal in your case. Back from death’s door and all that.”

“And all that,” Caleb agrees, remembering the screams and flames from his dreams.

“Lucky you,” Molly starts walking ahead and without looking back he says, “not only back from the dead, but you also get a behind the scenes tour of one of the greatest shows in history from yours truly.”

“Is it too late to see if death will take me back?” Caleb mutters to himself under his breath.

Molly’s resounding laughter is the only answer he gets.

Caleb trails behind Molly despite his better judgment. The tiefling seems to be enjoying himself if the way his tail moves back and forth in his ridiculously patterned pants is any indication. Again, Caleb is reminded of Frumpkin and finds himself a little charmed by Molly and missing his cat. He just barely resists summoning Frumpkin to his side, taking comfort in the fact that at least Nott and his familiar are together even if Caleb himself is alone. 

Biting his lip, Caleb attempts to persuade Molly once more, “Mollymauk, I really would just like to find my friend and my cat. We really don’t have to go through this tour business.”

Molly sends Caleb a mock disbelieving look over his shoulder, “Caleb, darling, if I didn’t know any better I’d say that you wanted to get rid of me. Besides, I never said that we couldn’t do both.”

It’s Caleb turn to look skeptical, “Both?”

“Both. I’m very good at multitasking.” Molly says as he heads towards one of the larger tents in the area, “I do a little bit of everything, in fact. Jack of all trades, master of none.”

“Oftentimes better than a master of one.” Caleb unthinkingly completes the phrase.

This causes Molly to stop in his tracks and turn back to face Caleb with a curious look on his face, “Most people don’t know the entire thing.”

Caleb shrugs and fiddles with his scarf. “I read a lot.” He replies lamely, unable to come up with a better answer.

Molly shoots him another smile, leans closer, and quickly uses his hand to knock against one of the books hidden away in Caleb’s coat, “I had a feeling.”

Caleb steps back, intent on placing more distance between them. He’s starting to realize how often Molly touches him and although the physical contact isn’t exactly welcomed, Caleb doesn't necessarily hate it either. The Zemnian man isn’t sure what to do with those particular feelings so he shoves them out of his mind for now. He hopes to find Nott and Frumpkin as quickly as possible and leave all of this behind them.

“So the tour actually _is_ necessary?” Caleb finally manages to ask.

Rolling his eyes, Molly nods and continues his trek to the gigantic tent, “I suppose so, if you want to look at it that way. Like I said before, your friends are with Yasha but she never did tell me where they were heading off to today. You and I are going to make the rounds and see if any of the other members know where they went. With any luck, one of them will actually know where they disappeared to this time.”

Caleb increases his pace until he is instep with Molly. “This time?” The wizard questions, an eyebrow raised.

“Yasha has a habit of wandering off.” Molly explains, tone amused. “And we’ve found that your little friend has, shall we say, certain urges that require her to frequent the town. One moment they’re right next to me, then the next they’ve vanished and taken poor Frumpkin off in their adventures.”

Caleb curses beneath his breath and feels a migraine coming on. He desperately hopes that Molly is referencing Nott’s occasional desire for alcohol rather than her penchant for stealing, but knowing his luck Caleb accepts the probability that it’s both. However, he is relieved to know that Nott has yet to get into serious trouble and that she at least has this Yasha woman as backup.

“Apologies for any problems she’s caused, especially after all the help you’ve given us.” Caleb says, feeling exhausted.

“No need to apologize. Nott’s definitely reckless and stubborn, but it’s nothing we can’t handle.” Molly shrugs nonchalantly and then glances at Caleb from the corner of his eye, “Although I do appreciate the sentiment. Most people don’t usually care for carnival folk.”

At a loss for how to respond, Caleb is grateful when it appears that they’ve reached the entrance of the tent. In general, talking often leaves the red head feeling off-kilter, but talking to Mollymauk is a different experience entirely. The tiefling never reacts the way Caleb expects him to; the man can appear playful one moment then serious the next. He looks towards Molly now, waiting for some explanation or cue as to what to do. Molly isn’t looking at him though, instead the tiefling appears to be contemplating something as he stares at the tent.

Molly purses his lip and furrows his brow, “This could actually be a horrible mistake.”

“Pardon me?” Caleb asks, bewildered. He can feels his nerves starting to set in again.

“Then again, you are friends with a feisty goblin and seem to know your way around magic. You can probably handle yourself. Probably.” Molly rubs his chin, looking pensive.

The tiefling nods to himself, seemingly making up his mind about something. “Alright Caleb, I need you to prepare yourself. Lying behind these doors-”

“There aren’t any doors,” Caleb points out, “this is a tent.”

Molly sends him a withering glare but Caleb notices how the tiefling’s mouth twitches, fighting off a smile, “I’m starting to understand why you were stabbed, darling. Now where was I?”

“Lying behind these nonexistent doors.” Caleb replies, fighting off his own smile. He’s surprised at how easy it is to fall into Molly’s rhythm and get out of his own head. 

“Lying _within_ this tent is a creature of true chaos. She leaves nothing but destruction and sorrow in her wake. I’ve seen grown men cry at the mere sound of her voice. Many a poor soul have challenged this beast, but none have succeeded. Every time a brave warriors emerges, they’re struck down in the most brutal of ways. Really, nothing can defeat this creature.” Molly says dramatically, clearly enjoying himself. “If she don’t approve of you, I’m afraid you will have to deal with the consequences on your own.”

Caleb tilts his head and looks at Molly questioningly, “Are you the one that usually drums up interest in the circus?” Caleb pauses as he struggles to remember the exact word he wants to use, “Advertises?” 

Molly looks taken aback, clearly confused by the sudden change in topic, “Yes, why?”

“It explains a lot.” Caleb says deadpanned. “Also, I take back my apology. I hope Nott was an absolute menace.” 

Molly barks out a laugh, “Well at least you’re in a good mood. Ready then?”

The wizard shakes his head and gives a weary glance at the foreboding entrance, “As long as they’re not like you, I think I’ll manage.”

The tiefling laugh quiets down, but his good mood is still apparent. Caleb feels a hand on his lower back as he’s slowly being guided through the entrance. Molly leans in close, voice barely above a whisper, “There’s no one quite like me, hot stuff.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The moment Caleb enters the tent he’s greeted with the unexpected sight of an enormous amphibian like creature. 

_“Scheisse!”_ Caleb curses, startled, and falls promptly on his ass.

Mollymauk stands next to him, laughing uncontrollably. Once the tiefling settles down and wipes his eyes he extends a hand to Caleb, “You alright there?”

“No. I may never recover from the fact that you might’ve actually told the truth.” Caleb mutters. He’s about to grab Molly’s hand when he notices something.

“Are you bleeding?” The wizard asks, concern lacing his words.

Molly immediately pulls his hand away before Caleb can get a better look at the splash of red he had seen. It surprises Caleb, aware of how tactile Molly had been with him since he woke up. Caleb pushes on the ground and gets himself upright, feeling more disoriented by Molly’s sudden change in behavior than anything else.

“I-” but Caleb doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know where he went wrong for once.

“Apologies-”

“Caleb-”

They both talk at the same time.

Caleb looks towards the ground and buries his face further into his scarf, “Apologies. I thought you were hurt, but if you are not then it’s fine.”

Although Caleb cannot see Molly’s face, most of the tiefling is still in his line of sight. He watches as Molly’s hands clench and unclench in frustration.

“You really apologize too much.” Molly finally says, but something in his voice sounds strained and forced to Caleb’s ears. “That was just a gut reaction to being told I was bleeding. What you saw were just markings I got when I was younger. I have three of them, here look.”

Caleb looks up and watches as Mollymauk uses his left hand to point to the mark Caleb had first seen on the back of Molly’s right hand, “Here’s one.” He then angles his head, brushes his hair out of the way, and points to the right side of his neck where an identical red ovular mark sits, “Two.” The tiefling pulls down his loose fitting shirt, exposing his right shoulder and yet another mark, “Three.”

Molly fixes his shirt back in place and Caleb notices how the man still appears tense.

“It’s sort of a right of passage in my family? Well maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. They actually symbolize wisdom, power, and courage. Each member of my family gets them after we complete a spiritual journey of sorts.” Molly snorts and crosses his arms. “Sounds all mystical but all it is really is just dumping us in the forest by ourselves for a week and seeing if we survive. I did get a lot better with my simitars after that though. Also came out with a few scars, which I’ve been told are very attractive and only add to my charm.”

“I see,” is the only thing Caleb thinks to say.

Molly shrugs and sends a beguiling smile in Caleb’s direction, “I don’t usually have them out in the open like this. Tends to give people a weird impression.” He pauses, “Well, weirder impression. Anyway, I typically have on a fabulous coat and pair of gloves so as not to scare away the customers.”

Caleb is still processing all this information and trying to discern the truth so he says the first thing that comes to mind, “That’s a shame.”

The wizard only realizes what he had said when Molly stares at him curiously, some of the amusement seeping back into his eyes.

“I just mean that your hands are nice. And warm.” Caleb is now avoiding Molly’s general direction, “That’s not to say that the rest of you isn’t, because you are.”

“So all of me is just nice and warm?” Molly asks, and although Caleb may be dying of embarrassment he is relieved that the tiefling is sounding more like himself again, “Am I getting that right, hot stuff?”

“I- Yes, I suppose. You are nice and warm.” Caleb lets the words rush out of him. He is not good at comforting others, he often either says the wrong things or says too much. He hopes he has not crossed some sort of line. 

“And attractive, scarred or not.” Again, words leave his mouth unbidden. “I think you were right earlier, there is no one else quite like you.”

When Caleb gathers up enough courage to look at Molly again he expects to see a look of glee or smug satisfaction on the tiefling’s face. He had even thought that Mollymauk would laugh at him, but instead Caleb sees something else. Instead, Molly looks vulnerable, a soft expression on his face. Caleb watches as it slowly slips into something else, something almost fond and sweet. 

Caleb looks away.

He almost misses Molly’s next words, “Thank you, Caleb.” 

_“Ja.”_ Caleb nods, mind still in disarray. 

A low and dissonant sound catches them both of guard.

Caleb’s eyes are drawn back to the large creature in the center of the tent. It’s making a strange shaking motion, its green and slimy scales shining in the light, as it continues to make the same noise. It takes a moment, but Caleb eventually realizes that the creature seems to be laughing. Caleb’s not sure if this day can get any weirder or more uncomfortable.

“Hey, shut up asshole.” Molly calls out. 

“Don’t be rude Molly!” A raspy voice yells back. 

Too distracted by his warring inner emotions and the giant hulking monster before him, Caleb only now notices the small blonde dwarven girl as she runs up and hugs Molly. As Molly pats the girl’s head, Caleb watches as the remaining tension in Molly’s shoulders disappear. Unsure of what to do, Caleb slowly backs up and contemplates leaving the tent and finding his companions on his own.

Molly leans down and plants a kiss on the girl’s forehead and she smiles warmly at Molly in return. “I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”

Molly laughs loudly, “Toya, I saw you at dinner last night with everyone else.”

The dwarf, Toya, rolls her eyes, “Yes, I know that but we haven’t talked in a while. You’ve either been out in the town or cooped up in your tent.” Her eyes widen suddenly in realization and she whips her head to Caleb's direction. 

“I am so sorry! Here I am yelling at Molly for being rude when I haven’t even introduced myself! Hello, I’m Toya and that’s Kylre. We would’ve introduced ourselves sooner but,” and she glances between Caleb and Molly, a small smile on her face, “you two seemed preoccupied. I’m glad to see you’re awake and looking better though.”

Caleb feels himself flush, “Yes, hello. My name is Caleb Widogast, it is nice to meet you.” He forces out a smile and hopes that it looks more genuine than it feels.

“I was just telling Caleb about you, Toya.” Molly pipes in. “The great and powerful Toya of the Fletching and Moondrop Circus, capable of slaying hundreds with the sound of her voice.” 

Toya makes a face at that, “You make it sound like I’m some kind of monster.”

Molly holds his hands up in surrender, “You said it, not me. Besides, you’re forgetting that I’ve seen you when you’re hungry.” He lets at a low whistle, “Truly a force to be reckoned with.”

As Toya shoves Molly, Caleb pieces everything together. “You sing?” He asks, mildly surprised given the rough sound of Toya’s voice.

Toya looks back to him and nods, a shy smile on her face. “It’s one of the acts in the show. I sing and pretend to soothe Kylre. It’s not much but some people seem to like it.”

“No need to be so modest, Toya.” Molly scolds and turns to Caleb, gesturing to Toya, “This one really does have a magnificent voice. Honestly, I am a bit terrified by it. Never fails to bring the entire audience to tears. I’ve-”

Molly is interrupted by the appearance of two pale halfling women entering the tent.

“Is that him?” One asks, her hazel eyes sweeping over Caleb.

“He’s not _that_ cute.” The other says as she twirls a lock of her brunette hair, also appraising Caleb.

“I bet it was the eyes.” The first one says, “Molly’s always had a weakness for a nice pair of eyes.”

“True,” the second one agrees, but then her brows furrow. “But wait, wasn’t he unconscious when they found him? There’s no way Molly could’ve seen his eyes. Maybe it was-”

Molly claps his hands loudly, garnering everyone’s attention.

“Ladies, as much as I appreciate you coming to see us, perhaps we shouldn’t scare away our guest just yet.” He then addresses Toya, “Caleb and I did come here for a reason. Do you mind answering his questions while I deal with the twins? I have a feeling he isn’t quite ready for their brand of crazy just yet.”

The sisters both make a noise of protest as Toya nods.

“Perfect,” Moly turns to Caleb and winks, “Be grateful that I’m willingly sacrificing myself for you right now. Try not to miss me too much!”

The tiefling scampers off, taking the two halfling women with him outside before Caleb gets the chance to respond. His mind is still reeling when he feels a tug on his sleeve. He looks down and sees Toya giving him an apologetic smile.

“That was Mona and Yuli, the Knot Sisters. They’re really not that bad, but they are nosy. Sorry about all of this. It must be a lot to handle, especially since you just woke up.” Toya says sympathetically.

 _“Ja,”_ Caleb replies, but offers the girl another smile, “It’s better than being stabbed. Just barely though.” He jokes.

The silence that follows has him berating himself until Toya bursts out in giggles. “I would hope so.”

After her laughter subsides she looks at Caleb curiously, “Molly said you had some questions for me? I’ll try to answer them the best that I can.”

“Thank you.” Caleb hopes he has the energy left to get through this conversation and not horribly offend anyone in the process, least of all this young girl. He’s already feeling as though he has had enough social interactions to last him an entire year.

“Do you by chance know where my companions have gone? My little goblin friend, Nott, and my cat, Frumpkin? Mollymauk mentioned that they probably left with someone called Yasha?” Caleb asks, wringing his hands, desperate for good news.

“I’m sorry, I have no idea.” Caleb tries to fight off the wave of disappointment that follows the girl’s words. 

The wizard runs his fingers through his hair, feeling more drained as time passes. “It’s okay. Mollymauk did say that it was a normal occurance for them.”

Toya looks at him, concern written across her face. “They were beside you most of the time though. Sure, they both went out into town or explored the woods and fields from time to time, but more often than not I would find them next to you. Whenever I tried to talk to Nott she would always bring you up and Frumpkin always curls up next to you when he wants to sleep.”

Caleb can feel himself getting choked up, “I’m really lucky to have them in my life.”

Toya smiles, “You are. They were really worried about you the entire time.” She stops talking for a moment and then says her next words carefully, “Molly too, I think.”

“Was he?” It’s hard for Caleb to picture Mollymauk worried about anything.

His question seems to excite Toya as she visibly brightens, excited by his curiosity for some reason. 

“He was!” She practically squeals and the proceeds to blush from her outburst. “Molly was the one that found you and he’s been taking care of you the most. Well, him and Yasha.”

It then dawns on Caleb that he has no idea as to what has transpired since the fight at the tavern. He had been so focused on finding Nott and Frumpkin that he hadn’t been able to discuss it with Molly. Caleb focuses internally and realizes that although he is able to discern the time of day, he doesn’t know exactly what day it is. He doesn’t know how long he’s been unconscious.

“Would you mind telling me what’s been going? I don’t remember much after getting stabbed.” For some reason Toya’s expressions flaters at his question, but she masks it quickly.

“Of course! Would you like to sit? I don’t have any pillows or bedrolls though, I usually just get comfortable on Kylre. Unless you you’re open to...?” She trails off, glancing at Kylre who looks uninterested in their conversation. Caleb doesn’t know how anyone could get comfortable on such a creature and isn’t too keen on finding out if it really is possible. 

“No, no. I wouldn’t want to impose.” Caleb says, looking warily at Kylre, “Standing suits me just fine.”

Toya laughs, “That’s what everyone says. Anyway, you said the last thing you remember was getting stabbed? Well, Nott said that you guys managed to find cover in some alleway and that’s where Molly, Yasha, and Gustav found you. Gustav’s the circus master by the way, I’m sure he’ll want to meet you now that you’re awake.”

Internally, Caleb shudders at the prospect of meeting yet another person today but if Gustav is the leader of the circus, he supposes that he has no choice. He wonders if the man is as unpredictable as Molly and the Knot sisters. He hopes that there is at least one responsible adult in the circus, especially for Toya’s sake.

“Frumpkin led them to you guys. He apparently attacked Molly and wouldn’t leave him alone until Molly followed him.” Toya continues.

“Attacked?” That sounds nothing like Frumpkin, so Caleb wonders how dire the situation had been. It’s also difficult for him to picture Frumpkin as menacing in any capacity.

Toya also looks skeptical, “That’s how Molly described it. I’m not really sure what happened. I think Yasha said it was more like Frumpkin clawed at Molly’s coat and circled his legs until he finally gave in. Molly has a tendency of embellishing things.”

“I’ve noticed.” Caleb says dryly.

Toya laughs again and Caleb can already see how easy it would be for her to win over an audience. “Good, don’t let him get away with anything or you’ll never hear the end of it. Where was I again? Oh yes, so Yasha carried you back to the circus and treated your wounds. You’ve all been been staying in the tent that she and Molly share for the past three days. Nott and Molly have basically been trading shifts for watching over you, but Yasha pitches in too ”

“Three days?” Caleb asks in disbelief.

“Yeah.” Toya confirms sadly, eyes downcast. “Everyone was really worried when you didn’t wake up the first day. Nott mentioned how exhausted you had been before then and how you haven’t been eating much.”

Caleb’s stomach decides to make its presence known at that exact moment with a loud and embarrassing growl.

“Oh!” Toya exclaims, “Have you not eaten? You should! I’m sure Molly would love to take you out to eat! You guys could even just get something from the bakery and walk around town! You’d be able to look for your friends that way too! It’s perfect!”

Caleb tries to decline. Although the thought of food is sorely tempting, he’s not sure how he’s supposed to act around Mollymauk anymore. He’d rather avoid another awkward conversation. If anything, he thinks it would be best to not be around Molly for the time being. Unfortunately, Toya is surprisingly strong and seems set in her plans. 

As Toya drags a reluctant Caleb outside, he thinks he hears Kylre laughing at him again. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Caleb can see several figures a little ways away from Toya and Kylre’s tent. He recognizes three of them as Molly and the Knot sisters, but the other two are a mystery. From this distance he can only make out vague features. The other two people seem like human women. One is short, with red hair so bright it almost looks orange, and has a dark complection. The other woman is decked out in shades of blues, hair up in a bun, and is leaning against her staff.

Toya notices him staring, “That’s Orna and Beau. Beau the taller one and she isn’t part of the circus. We actually met her during our first show here. She’s been visiting us ever since.”

Caleb watches as Beau seems to be making faces as Molly talks to her. They seem to be in some sort of argument but no one else seems alarmed by this. In fact, as he and Toya get closer to the group, the rest of the onlookers look entertained or bored by the situation.

“Beau’s a bit rough around the edges, but she means well.” Toya whispers, “Most of the time. I think.”

“Oh, he does have pretty eyes. I couldn’t get a good look inside the tent.” One of the halflings says when they get within earshot.

“See, I told you.” Her sister replies as she rolls her eyes.

“Mona. Yuli. What did we just say about manners?” Molly warns and then shoots a grin at Caleb. “Find out anything useful, handsome?”

“No.” He replies quickly. He doesn’t like how all the attention has shifted to him. The red headed woman, Orna, seems to be slowly assessing him.

Orna’s voice cuts through the noise, loud and self-assured, “So sleeping beauty has finally woken up? About time. We’ve wasted a lot of time and resources on you.”

Caleb picks up on the accusatory tone in her voice and he resists the impulse to step behind Toya and use her as a buffer. “ _Ja,_ I am truly grateful.”

He doesn’t sound grateful, he knows, and judging by how Orna’s eyes narrow she noticed. She opens her mouth again, no doubt to interrogate Caleb, but Toya intervenes.

“Orna, we were happy to help.” Toya attempts to placate Orna, “We really didn’t do much for Caleb anyway.”

Orna looks ready to argue once again but another voice chimes in, “Wait, _you’re_ Caleb?”

Caleb turns to Beau, who looks disgruntled. He wonders what he could have possibly done to warrant such an aggravated look from the stranger, “Ja?”

“Your friend Nott tried to steal my staff.”

Oh.

Caleb sighs, “Yes that does sound like her.” 

“She said she wanted to add it to her stick collection.” The woman looks both confused and aggravated by her own statement.

Some part of Caleb registers the fact that Molly is laughing raucously somewhere off to his side. The wizard pinches the bridge of his nose and acquiesce, “ _Ja,_ that _really_ sounds like her.” 

“Caleb!” Another voice calls out to him.

Caleb is so tired. He doesn’t want to deal with more people. He just wants to see Nott and Frumpkin and to possibly sleep for another three days. He briefly wonders if anyone would stop him if he makes a break for it now.

Then it hits him.

He knows that voice.

Caleb does end up running, but instead of running away from something, he’s running towards something. 

He runs towards Nott and Frumpkin.

Once he’s close enough Caleb slides to his knees, something he’s sure he will regret later, and scoops up both of his companions into his arms. It hurts and all of them will definitely have bruises to show for it later, but it’s worth it.

After a moment, Nott leans back and pats Caleb’s face. “Hey you.” She’s shaking all over and it even shows in her voice. Both of them have tears in their eyes.

“Hello Nott, Frumpkin.” he greets them both. He feels the weight in his stomach finally subside. Nott smiles and Frumpkin purrs.

“Dude, is the cat _crying_? Can they even do that?” Caleb hears someone ask behind him.

“Gods Beau can you just shut up for one second.” Molly snipes back.

The voices remind Caleb that they’re not alone. He quickly releases his friends and gets up from the ground. He can feel his knees protesting the movement.

The group had moved closer and all of them have varying looks of curiosity. Caleb also sees that another woman has joined the fray, but she hangs further back and looks just as uncomfortable as he feels in a large group.

“This is all very touching, but you guys should probably see Gustav now.” Mona says as she looks at Caleb.

“Yeah, you’ve been making him wait a while.” Yuli confirms.

The name is familiar, “Gustav, the carnival master?”

The twins nod.

Molly rubs his temples, also looking worn out. “And why didn’t you tell us this earlier?”

They shrug.

“We wanted to know more about the cute hobo. We don’t meet one of those everyday.” Is the answer Yuli gives.

Orna makes a frustrated noise and glares at the twins who either don’t seem to notice or simply don’t care. Caleb is vaguely curious about how well the circus functions if its members are always this antagonistic and disorganized. He also wonders, if there are any more members, what they must be like. Then he reminds himself that he does not care and that it isn’t any of his business. He’s found his friends and after they talk with Gustav they will put all of this behind them. 

“Would it kill either of you to actually be responsible for once in your lives?” Orna asks, her temper flaring.

“Now, now Orna, no need to be upset. it’s my own fault for entrusting a message with the Mona and Yuli when there is gossip to be had.” Someone says from behind Caleb.

Caleb turns to what he assumes must be Gustav. The elvish man isn’t what Caleb had expected a carnival master to look like. Gustav is a tall and lanky man with long ashy brown hair that curls down to the middle of his back. There’s an easy smile on his lips, but his eyes look tired and old. He looks like a man more suited to work at an office than one capable of performing in a circus and leading the rowdy bunch behind Caleb. 

Something flashes in Orna’s eyes, but she holds back. Caleb isn’t sure if the tension he feels is imaginary or not. He slips his hand into his pocket, grasping his diamond out of habit. Orna, even in her anger, seems to notice his movement and narrows her eyes at him.

“What are we going to do about them?” She gestures to Caleb and his friends with her head. 

One of the twins says something that he can’t make out but Beau ends up cackling, Molly smirks, and Toya’s face turns a bright shade of red. Caleb really does not want to know what she said.

Gustav continues as if the incident had never happened. “That’s actually what I had wanted to discuss, but it’s going to have to wait. We simply don’t have any time.”

“Are you kidding me?” Orna bites back. “We don’t know a thing about them except that the little goblin girl is a kleptomaniac. You could at least get some coin from them! We’re not running a charity case here, Gustav.”

“I don’t have much coin to begin with,” Caleb adds, uncomfortable that the fight is about them.

The large woman who had been silent up until that point finally speaks up, “Your coin purse was pretty weighty for someone who claims to be poor.”

“Yasha?” Beau asks sounding both curious and impressed.

Yasha shrugs, “I was the one his tended your wounds. I may have noticed a few things.”

Caleb’s not sure what to make of her sentence but he’d rather not take any chances. They need to leave this circus soon. “If I had any coin to my name do you think I would look like this?”

He gestures to his old and tattered coat. He knows what he looks like. He’s often been told about how dirty and sickly looking he appears, and he imagines that nearly dying hasn’t done him any favors.

“For someone who nearly died, I’d say you look pretty good.” Molly adds unhelpfully, “Actually, I’d say you look pretty good in general.”

Beau snorts.

Caleb feels flustered by the response. He focuses on Yasha because he feels like he can get a better read on her, “It’s mostly just copper, cat treats, and some rocks.” When he mentions the cat treats, he notices a slight shift in her demeanor. Frumpkin surprises Caleb by leaving his side and rubbing up against Yasha.

“Rocks?” Orna questions as Yasha is momentarily distracted.

“I collect rocks and stick.” Nott contributes.

Caleb is thankful that Beau’s attention seems to be on his familiar and Yasha than on the present conversation.

“As loath as I am to interrupt this bonding moment, we really need to get ready for tonight.” The carnival master looks towards Caleb, “I am glad to see you awake and reunited with your friends, Mr. Widogast. I hope you’ll find time to see the show and discuss a few matters?”

Caleb’s not sure if it’s an actual request or a command.

He glances at Nott and Frumpkin. He’s still recovering and his friends look more at ease than he’s seen in a long time. He supposes staying for a little while longer won’t hurt.

_“Ja.”_

Gustav smiles broadly, “Excellent! Now all of you, please get back to work. This is the finale after all.”

The rest of the group grumbles but disperses. Gustav sends one last nod in Caleb’s direction and wanders away. Caleb releases a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. Nott grabs his hand squeezes it reassuringly. Caleb squeezes it back and smiles.

The wizard then looks for his cat and finds him looking more than content in the arms of Mollymauk. 

Molly is still petting Frumpkin when he asks, “Have you ever been to the circus, Caleb?”

“No.” Caleb admits, “I’ve never had the chance.”

He had actually wanted to go when he was young but circuses never seemed to find their way to his little hometown. Then he had been whisked away to the academy and then silly little desires like wanting to go to the circus seemed so inconsequential.

Molly looks absolutely delighted, “Well then, now’s your chance. You’re in for something else, Caleb Widogast.”

Caleb stares into Molly’s eyes, transfixed and curious despite himself. He gives a small smile in return, “Yes, I am beginning to understand that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how this chapter got this long and I'm not sure I'll be able to do it again lol. Would you believe that the first draft of this was actually only half as long, had less banter, and instead of meeting Toya first Caleb actually met the Knot sister first? The first draft was really weird.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left kudos, comments, subscribed, and/or bookmarked this work! I'm so happy you guys are enjoying it. As always, feel free to come and talk to me on my [tumblr](http://someone-who-believed.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> So other fun facts:
> 
> -The death tarot card is from "Tarot of the Hidden Realm" by Julia Jeffrey and Barbara Moore that I actually just purchased. I think they're really pretty and if I mention any more cards in the future it will most likely be from this deck.
> 
> -Molly really likes terms of endearments and nicknames. He thinks calling Caleb "hot stuff" is hilarious and suits him.
> 
> -To clarify, Molly does NOT have his tattoos YET. Yeah, I miss them too, but don't worry there are reasons for that and he will get them eventually. (Like I've said before I have seriously messed with the timeline and certain things have or have not happened. Also I'm adding certain things.)
> 
> -Toya ships them. This is going to be great.
> 
> \- I struggled a lot with Orna and the Knot sisters. I hope you all enjoyed. Orna has her reasons for being grumpy. Desmond and Bo are there too, but they were actually doing their work hence their lack of appearance. 
> 
> -(SPOILERS FOR C2 EP21) So one issue I'm having is that I keep falling in love with new characters so now I want to incorporate Kiri and Cali into the fic... 
> 
> Also thank you to the widomauk server, you guys are so great and supportive.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how this keeps getting longer?
> 
> As always, all the mistakes are my own. I got really excited for this chapter so I apologize if there are any more than usual. Thank you again CodeSculptor for all the help!

“Shouldn’t you be working or something?”

Nott stares Molly down and Caleb can see that she is trying her best to be intimidating but her eyes still appear misty and her sniffling has yet to stop. Caleb’s heart warms at the sight. He cherishes Nott’s friendship and understanding although he knows that he deserves neither of those things. 

“Nope!” Molly replies obnoxiously with a shit eating grin. He looks far too delighted in spoiling whatever plans Nott may have had. At his response, Nott’s face scrunches up in annoyance.

The three of them are all still standing in the clearing between the tents and the woods. All the others had left to either practice or complete whatever tasks they needed to before the show. The circus master, Gustav, had given Caleb and Nott little instruction besides to enjoy the show and remain afterwards for some sort of discussion. The amount of leeway they had been given surprises Caleb. Besides Molly, there doesn’t seem to be anyone else around. It's the perfect opportunity to run. He knows that Nott is considering the same thing given how hard she’s trying to get rid of Molly. Nott continues to glare at the tiefling who seems unbothered as he keeps petting Frumpkin in his arms.

“Helpful, aren’t you?” Nott asks before she promptly takes a swig from her flask.

Molly looks Nott up and down, unimpressed, “I helped you plenty a few days ago.”

“I had it completely under control.” She tries to say cooly. It’s such an obvious lie but so very much like Nott that Caleb has to hide a smile behind his scarf. He’s missed her so much.

Molly snorts, “Of course you did.”

“Yep,” Nott replies, mimicking Molly’s tone from earlier with her own shit eating grin.

Caleb isn’t sure if they’re fighting or getting along.

They’re all at a strange stalemate. No one makes a move to really do or say anything else. Caleb wants to interject, to somehow get a moment alone with Nott and discuss their options, but he’s not sure of how to divert Mollymauk. The tiefling is too unpredictable and seems to greatly enjoy getting under Caleb’s skin. 

He’s still lost in thought when a loud voice calls out to them, “Hey asshole!” 

They all turn at the sound and find Beau running towards them. 

She comes up, a smirk on her face, “You know it’s really telling that you all turned at that.”

Molly rolls his eyes at that while Nott looks annoyed at the appearance of another person. The goblin takes another quick swig of her flask. She makes brief eye contact with Caleb and he knows that she’s trying to see if he has a plan of his own. He doesn’t.

“I just met you.” Caleb says after a moment, still slightly taken aback but the young woman’s words.

“Yeah, and now I know you’re probably an asshole.” Beau’s grin is smug, making it hard to tell if that was supposed to be a joke or not. Caleb looks to Nott and Molly for some guidance but they both have varying expressions of exasperation and seem unsurprised by the flow of the conversation.

Caleb sends her a confused look, and says hesitantly, “I could probably say the same about you.”

This earns a surprised laugh from Mollymauk, which causes Frumpkin to jump out of his arms in a huff. Even Nott breaks out into a wide and genuine grin. Meanwhile, Beau narrows her eyes and leans in close, invading Caleb’s personal space. He steps backwards and avoids all eye contact with the brash woman.

“Fair,” she says begrudgingly. Although he isn’t looking at Beau, Caleb can still feel how her eyes trail across him. Her eyes remain on him for a beat longer before she turns her attention the Molly.

“Gustav remembered that he needs you to go out with Breaker and talk up the last show. Said you guys gotta get a big crowd.” She nods in the direction of the town, a little ways away from where all the tents are set up. “Breaker’s already out there doing shit.”

Once Beau finishes, Nott’s head snaps to Molly’s direction and she points an accusing finger at him. “Ah-Ha!” She proclaims loudly, “So you _are_ supposed to be working! I knew it!” She looks incredibly proud of herself. 

After rolling his eyes, Molly covers Nott’s hand which is still raised and pointed at him, and slowly pushes it down. Although Nott lets it happen, the look of satisfaction never leaves her face. Molly opens his mouth to say something to Nott, but he must decide against it as he turns his attention back to Beau.

“And Gustav entrusted these instructions to you specifically?” Molly asks skeptically. His arms are folded and there’s clear disbelief etched into his features.

Caleb watches as a faint blush seems to overtake Beau’s face and she scowls at Molly. “Yasha has enough to deal with and you know it.”

“Uh huh, and what a kind and generous soul you are to help her out of the goodness of your heart.” Molly says sarcastically and emphasizes the last word.

“Oh shut up you dick. Like you’re any better.” She fires back and gestures to Caleb.

A loud and hacking cough erupts from Nott as she starts choking on her drink. She looks from Caleb to Molly, eyes wide. “Excuse me?” She screeches and she looks about ready to pull out her crossbow.

“I don’t think-” Caleb starts but is cut off once again as his stomach demands attention. Quickly, he crosses his arms over his stomach and feels himself flush red. “Pardon me.”

Beau slowly pulls something out of her pockets, “Pocket bacon?” She offers up a handful of bacon wrapped up in a greasy napkin. It’s definitely seen better days but Caleb has never been one to turn down free food. He nods and as he reaches out to take a few strips he gives Beau a tight lipped smile. Her face seems to spasm until it rearranges itself into some semblance of a smile. Both of them look away and say nothing else.

“Incredible,” Molly says after a moment. He looks mystified as he says, “I was right here the entire time and I still don’t know how you two were able to pack so much awkwardness into one interaction.”

“It’s a talent.” Caleb mumbles in between bites of his pocket bacon. He tries to hand some to Nott but she just shoves it back into his hands.

“Dick,” Is the only response from Beau. Caleb isn’t sure if it’s meant for Molly or for him. Possibly both. 

“Neither of you are wrong.” Molly shrugs and then addresses Caleb with a bemused expression, “You know you could come to town with me and get some real food. Unless pocket bacon is some Zemnian delicacy, in which case don’t let me stop you. I’m sure the lint really gives it flavor.”

In response, Caleb just takes a large bite of the bacon and chews slowly, his expression daring Molly to say something else. Molly’s grin widens and he looks sorely tempted to take up Caleb’s unspoken challenge. A small part of Caleb almost wants him to, the other more sensible part of him wants to get far away from the tiefling just to gather his bearings once again. He’s only known Mollymauk for a short time but something about the tiefling draws Caleb in. It’s different with him. Caleb still has his guard up; he is still cautious of the tiefling because that’s just the kind of man Caleb is, but he finds it easier to talk to Mollymauk than to anyone else he’s met in a long time besides Nott. The other man is intriguing and even a little likable, which makes him all the more dangerous.

Beau grimances, “Yeah, you’re definitely not allowed to give me shit about Yasha anymore.”

“I bought some bread when I went out with Yasha earlier. Caleb and I can share it.” Nott mentions, seeming eager to change the topic. Caleb notices how she seems to be staring more intensely at Molly. It’s not a hostile look, rather it’s something more assessing but it’s gone in the next second. “So, shoo, shoo. Go and do whatever it is you do.”

“Charming. No wonder Yasha’s taken to you so quickly.” Molly says blandly, ignoring the way Beau is snickering by his side. “I need to grab my coat and gloves if you two want to follow me back to the the tent. Unless…” He trails off, a knowing look in his eyes.

It’s almost enough to make Caleb feel guilty for considering leaving, but years of being on the run and swindling people have taught him how to push those feelings aside. Although he owes Molly and the rest of the circus his life, he owes Nott so much more than that. Nott, as much as it terrifies him to admit, is his family now. Whatever happens next, they will take it on together.

The wizard clears his throat and, unable to look Mollymauk in the eyes, looks somewhere passed the tiefling’s shoulders. “We will be fine. Nott and I,” he gestures to Nott with his head just as the goblin wipes her nose on one of the bandages wrapped around her arm, “We need to talk. Privately.”

“Of course,” Molly says graciously, his smile rueful. “Try not to get stabbed again, hot stuff. Same to you, Ms. Stick-Collector. Obnoxious one, I really couldn’t care less.”

With that, Molly walks away without taking another glance backwards. Despite this, Caleb’s eyes cannot seem to look anywhere else but at Mollymauk.

From his peripheral vision, Caleb can see Beau flipping Molly off even though the tiefling’s back is to her. Instead of leaving after Molly, like Caleb had believed she would, Beau lingers. She faces both Caleb and Nott, placing both of her hands on her hips emphasizing her muscular arms. The Zemnian man briefly wonders if he should be more concerned about getting punched rather than stabbed.

“So, what the deal with you two?” She asks bluntly, gesturing to both Caleb and Nott. “Nott hasn’t said much besides the fact that you were stabbed and found in an alley few days ago.”

“That’s all there is to say.” Caleb replies as Nott nods along.

Her eyes narrow at this and Caleb thinks that he sees her subtly flexing, “There’s always more to say. Normal people don’t usually get stabbed in alleyways.” She pauses, seeming to reassess her words, “Well sometimes they do, but that’s not the vibe I’m getting here. Not from you two.”

Caleb bites on his lip and withdraws further into himself, “Technically I was stabbed in a tavern and not an alleyway.” She scowls at that, “And that’s really it. It all just came down to an asshole with a knife.”

“Alright, fine, I can get behind that. The world’s filled with plenty of assholes. I still think you two are shady as fuck.” She finally drops her hands to her sides and relaxes her posture, “People have said the same thing about me though, so I can’t really judge.”

“You? Really? No!” Nott says sarcastically and Caleb disguises his small laugh as a cough.

Beau’s eyes narrow at Nott. Caleb does not want to deal with any more arguments so he sends Frumpkin to rub up against Beau’s legs. The woman smiles and crouches down to pet Frumpkin, who soaks up the attention. 

“Aw, I think he likes me!” She exclaims and then proceeds to softly coo at Frumpkin.

“Yes he is a very good judge of character.” Caleb winces at Nott’s stilted reply. 

Beau shoots her another sharp look but otherwise lets the comment go. After a while she gets up and dusts off her clothes. She rolls her shoulders back and cracks her neck, and Caleb wonders if she is trying to intimidate him further or if he’s reading too much into it.

“Alright, one more question and then I’ll get out of your hair.” She looks at Caleb curiously, “What’s up with you and Molly?”

Nott’s ears noticeably twitch and then she grows incredibly still. Meanwhile, Caleb takes time to process the question.

“Nothing.” Caleb says and he can tell that his puzzlement has leaked into his voice. “I mean, from what I’ve gathered, Mollymauk was the one that found Nott and I but that is all. He has been,” and at this Caleb bites his lip as he remembers all that had transpired between him and Mollymauk in such a short time, “helpful.”

The word does not seem to be enough but it’s all that Caleb has to describe their interactions. The wizard still isn’t sure what to make of what Molly had done for him last night. Caleb has never been able to chase away those types of nightmares before; he usually just ends up staying awake for the rest of the night or being ensnared by another warped memory. He also hasn’t been held like that in a very long time. It almost feels too sureal for it to have actually happened. Mollymauk’s laughter and easy smile flash through Caleb’s mind.

“Huh, interesting.” Beau says and she looks far too invested in his answer. “Well that’s all I wanted, I’m going to help out Yasha with the setup. My name’s Beau by the way, short for Beauregard. Not sure if I ever introduced myself.”

Caleb nods, “As you know I am Caleb, Caleb Widogast. If that is all, Nott and I need to go and talk. Now. Goodbye.” Caleb ushers Nott away quickly to a nearby a tree. It’s far enough away that they won’t be overheard by anyone in the tents, but close enough that they can easily be seen should anyone in the circus be looking for them. As they scurry away Caleb doesn't hear Beau say anything else and he counts that as a blessing. 

The moment that they are alone, Nott confronts Caleb. “Caleb, I need you to be honest with me.”

“ _Ja_ , of course Nott.” He says, taken aback by her serious tone.

“Molly hasn’t done anything weird to you, right? Hasn’t pressued you into anything? Made you do some bizarre circus ritual thing?” Nott asks, her yellow eyes piercing into Caleb’s.

A huff of laughter escapes Caleb’s lips, “No, no, nothing like that. I mean he seems like a weird man in general, but that can be said of everyone I’ve met today. I meant what I said earlier Nott, he has been helpful to me. To both of us I think.”

“He has,” Nott admits reluctantly. “I still don’t trust him though.”

Caleb leans against the tree, looking up at how the light passes through the branches and the leaves. “I don’t trust any of them,” he acknowledges, “but I think I could like them. Some of them. They’re certainly more welcoming than the townsfolk.”

Nott makes her way next to him and slides down against the tree. She leans her head against his leg as she looks out at the circus. Her voice comes out sounding lost, “So what do we do? Do we leave or do we stay?”

Caleb gently knocks the back of his head against the tree, frustrated by his own indecision. “I don’t know.” 

“I think,” Nott begins, speaking slowly, her eyes still on the tents of the circus. “I think we could could stay for a bit. For the show at least. It’ll be better than being out in the town. There’s not much there.”

Caleb hums in agreement, “Have you not seen them perform yet?”

“I haven’t,” Nott confirms. “Too busy.”

It dawns on Caleb that she means that she had been too busy looking after him to attend any of their shows. He uses his hand to gently pat the goblin’s head until she gets off of his leg. He then slides down and leans towards her. “Nott, thank for all you have done for me. I would not be here right now if it weren’t for you.”

From how they’re sitting, Caleb cannot see Nott’s face but he hears how her breath hitches repeatedly. He feels her shaking next to him. 

“You wouldn’t have been hurt in the first place if it weren’t for me.” Her voice is wrecked and Caleb is frozen, unsure of what to do. “I’m so sorry, Caleb. It’s my fault, I -”

“Have done nothing wrong.” He interjects, voice stern. “None of this was your fault. And without you, Nott the brave, I would be in a far worse place. You are very important to me and have saved me in so many ways, _ja_?”

Her shaking gets worse but she lets out a quiet, “Okay.”

Caleb takes a breath, “So today we will enjoy ourselves. We will go to the show tonight and have some fun. We can figure out the rest later.”

He feels Nott nod beside him, “Alright, that sounds good. Nice even.”

“It does.” The Zemnian reaches out for her hand and squeezes it tightly. She squeezes back.

“Oh I just remembered,” Nott says, perking up. “I really do have some bread we can share! And something else.” She lets go of Caleb’s hand and reaches into her back to pull out a loaf of bread, ripping it in half and shoving one piece in Caleb’s direction. She then takes out a familiar looking book.

“Here, I got you this!” She says proudly, brandishing the book in front of Caleb.

Caleb takes the book from her hands and carefully traces its binding. It was the book he had been looking at when they had first arrived into town. As he focuses, he feels the magical essence emanating from the book once again. “Nott, you didn’t have to buy this for me.”

She looks up at him, eyes still wet, but the grin she gives him cannot be described as anything other than impish, “I didn’t.”

Caleb erupts in laughter and Nott soon joins in. It makes him feel lighter and even makes him think that everything will all work out after all.

Smiling, he pinches one of her cheeks, “Thank you. I will begin reading this if you don’t mind?”

“No, go ahead!” She pauses, “Actually, you know Yasha and I were picking flowers earlier. Would you mind if I?” She looks at his hair and mimes a braiding motion with her hand.

“Of course you may.” He angles his body so as Nott stands she has easy access to his hair while he reads. 

Both of them remain that way, content in their own little world, waiting for the show to begin.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Molly told me to keep a look out for you.” The large and standoffish woman from earlier comments. “Hello Nott, Frumpkin.”

The familiar purrs from his spot perched around Caleb’s shoulders. 

“Hello Yasha,” Nott greets her as Caleb just nods.

They’re first in line to enter the main tent before the show. Nott had insisted that they should be the first one inside. She had dragged Caleb with her once she had seen Yasha standing in front of the tent.

Caleb hands the bouncer ten copper pieces and nearly runs into the tent when the woman’s voice stops him. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Earlier?” Caleb questions.

“With the money thing. I’m sorry if I was rude. The others have told me that my words can often come across as demanding but that wasn’t my intention with you.” Yasha confesses, “I like Nott and you are her friend, so I didn’t want any misunderstanding.”

Frumpkin makes a disgruntled noise and Yasha smiles. “I am also fond of Frumpkin as well. He is a good cat.”

“He is,” Caleb agrees, petting the cat. “You apology is unnecessary but appreciated. I understand the need for coin.”

Awkward silence falls between them until Nott tugs his sleeves and pulls him inside. Distanly he hears Yasha call out, “Enjoy the show.”

There’s only one other figure inside of the tent and Caleb is surprised to find out the he recognizes who it is. “Beauregard?”

The woman jumps slightly in surprise and then turns to them, “Holy shit, you actually stayed. I owe that bastard two silver now.”

“Uh?” Caleb says dumbly, unsure if he is supposed to know who she is referencing.

“Well, whatever. Maybe he’ll actually be tolerable with you around. Anyway, where do you wanna sit?” She asks, gesturing to the empty seating space.

“Front and center!” Nott shouts, clearly excited and maybe a little drunk.

“Front and center!” Beau repeats, looking startled by Nott’s loudness. She guides them to their seats nonetheless. “Try not to pass out.” She pats Caleb on the shoulder and leaves to attend to the next guests.

“Nott, do you know what everyone does here? What the acts are?” Caleb asks, uncertain if he should take Beau’s words seriously.

“No clue,” Nott says honestly. “I’ve only seen some of their outfits and stuff. Lots of glitter and color. One guy has a cool mustache though. And it’s usually really loud.”

Caleb is suddenly unsure of their seating, “I see.”

As they wait for the show to begin the audience starts to grow. It’s a decently sized crowd in Caleb’s opinion, especially for such a small town like Legram. He sees children running around, causing havoc on their playmates and other unsuspecting audiences members. There are plenty of couples, out for a date night he suspects. Some people look excited while others look bored out their mind. Plenty of people have brought in food or drinks. Caleb spots a few individuals who are drinking alcohol out in the open in front of children, but no one seems to be bothered by it. 

Soon enough the show begins as a man Caleb does not recognize practically falls out of the sky, suspended only by a thin piece of fabric, playing the fiddle. Gustav enters from the performer's entrance and begins to address the crowd, introducing himself and Desmond in the process. It’s interesting to see how the man had transformed from earlier. He looks lively and in his element as a storyteller. Although Caleb has the urge to laugh at his ridiculous hat, he is impressed at Gustav’s capability of capturing the crowd’s attention and opening up their imaginations. 

The Knot sisters are the first act. Caleb can barely recognize them with their vibrant and serpentine costumes. It’s difficult for him to imagine how the two outspoken halfling women from early had transformed into the serious performers before him. Watching how they twist around each other has Caleb wincing internally. He’s not sure any creature should be able to bend that way without somehow reworking their bone structure.

Next is Orna, the fire fairy. Though the twins had been mesmerizing in their own right, Orna is the embodiment of ferocity and grace. Her feet are incredibly light, it’s almost like she’s floating rather than dancing. In her hands, fire is something beautiful, something she controls. Caleb wishes he felt that at peace with his flames. Beside him, Caleb feels people shifting to his left but he cannot be bothered to turn, too focused on Orna.

“Gorgeous, isn’t she?” Caleb hears the person beside him whisper. The wizard jerks back immediately, Frumpkin growling in protest on his shoulders, and turns to face none other than Mollymauk.

Molly grins, red eyes bright even in the dimly lit tent, “Hello there darling, fancy meeting you here.”

Caleb blinks owlishly, “Hello?”

Molly glances back to Orna as she twirls with her fans of flame. He slowly places his hand over Caleb’s knee and squeezes, “I probably should’ve warned you about this. You going to be okay?”

“What?” Caleb question, distracted by how warm Molly’s hand is even though layers of clothing. He does not follow Molly’s train of thought until he looks back at Orna. “Oh, uh, yes. I will be fine, thank you. You do not need to do that. Last night was a- I will be fine.”

Caleb watches as Molly nods and gives Caleb’s knee one final squeeze before removing his hand. Caleb then realizes that Molly is wearing some sort of covering or gloves of some kind around his hands. From what Caleb is able to see, they’re lacy and fingerless, covering Molly’s palm all the way down to his wrists. They’re a deep maroon color that complements Molly’s skin color and manages to hide the red marking well with its intricate patterns. That’s not the only thing different about Molly, Caleb notes, as he takes in the other man’s coat. It is the most ostentatious piece of clothing Caleb has ever laid his eyes on. The main color of the coat seems to be a similar shade of maroon to Molly’s gloves. It’s decked out in so many patterns, symbols, and colors that it becomes an affront to Caleb’s eyes.

“As flattered as I am by your attention, Caleb, perhaps you should watch the show. You should never forget your first time at a circus.” Molly leans in and whispers.

Clearing his throat, Caleb turns back to Orna as she finishes up her routine and resolutely keeps his eyes there. “To quote Nott from earlier, ‘shouldn’t you be working or something?’”

The goblin next to him twitches at the sound of her name, but otherwise does not engage with either of them.

Molly chuckles, “Just finished up my last reading and decided to catch the rest of the show. Now hush, you’re going to want to listen to this part closely, trust me.”

Caleb has a remark sitting on the tip of his tongue but he holds it in as he catches sight of Toya in a beautiful white dress and Kylre thrashing about. The atmosphere has changed drastically as the audience watches the little dwarven girl attempt to soothe the beast. The moment Toya opens her mouth and begins to sing, Caleb is entranced as is the rest of the crowd. He would never have guessed that the girl he had met earlier would have been able to possess such a beautiful voice. As he continues to listen, he can’t help but compare it to celestial. He imagines it would sound incredible if Toya attempted to master the language. Listening to her now almost makes him believe that she must have some celestial blood in her already.

The crowd bursts into applause when Toya’s performance ends. She slowly disappears into the shadows, but the now tame Kylre remains on the stage. Caleb wipes the corners of his eyes as a hush falls among the audience as they wait for the next act.

“What did I tell you? Not a dry eye in the house.” Molly remarks, somehow sounding both proud and gentle at the same time. Caleb tenses, suddenly aware of how many times Molly has caught him in an emotional situation. “Get ready, Bo is about to come out.” 

“Beau? I didn’t think she was part of the circus? Though I did see her helping out earlier.” Caleb replies, tensely.

“Oh gods no, not that Beau. I can’t even imagine an act centered around that one. We’d lose the entire crowd if she got up there. No, I was talking about Bosun or Bo the Breaker as he likes to be called. He’s going to fight it out with Kylre and we have amazing seats.” Molly says, clearly excited by the prospect.

Caleb hums in affirmation. As a giant half-orc struts to the center of the tent, Frumpkin climbs down from Caleb’s shoulder onto Caleb’s lap. The familiar rubs up against his abdomen and Caleb pets the cat. He’s grateful to Frumpkin for giving him something to do with his hands, which had begun to feel restless under his growing anxiety.

Molly seems to pick up on Caleb’s shift in mood.”There’s still plenty of acts left. You should try to enjoy it, if you can. Have at least one nice memory from this shithole town.” He pauses, and fakes being deep in thought, “Well one nice memory besides meeting me of course.” 

“Of course,” Caleb says dryly, trying to sort himself out again. “It’s going to be difficult to top you manhandling my books, though.”

Molly chortles, “ _Manhandling your books?_ That’s not-”

A fellow spectator shushes Molly loudly, clearly annoyed by the noise the tiefling had been making. Molly turns and bows in apology to the person behind them. Caleb watches as Molly easily charms the individual, even managing to coax out a laugh at the formerly disgruntled woman. Curious, Caleb wonders if this is what Molly considers as work, enamoring people with a few words and alluring smiles. The wizard tries not to think of if Molly had done the same with him. 

A nudge on side brings his attention to Nott, “Are you having fun, Caleb? We can leave if you’re not.” 

Despite her words, Caleb can see how Nott’s eyes keep darting to the stage, clearly invested in the fight. He sends her what he hopes is a reassuring smile, or an approximation of one. “ _Ja_ , I am fine just a little distracted. I am having fun, or trying to. This is just a lot for me.”

He doesn’t expand further than that, but Nott has never been one to press for more information. She accepts his answer just as easily as she accepts the rest of him. So he tries to enjoy the show for her, just for a moment.

Out of the corner of his eye, he thinks he sees Molly smile.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“So, what did you both think?” Molly asks eagerly as they make their way out of the tent. The crowd is still buzzing, everyone talking about their favorite parts or what had surprised them. Most attendees seem to be leaving but Caleb can see that a few people are milling about, waiting for a chance to talk to the performers that have either remained in the tent or are cleaning up. The Knot sisters and Toya are nowhere in sight, but Caleb had seen Bosun and Kylre playing with a group of children. Orna, Gustav, and Desmond are spread out, talking to various groups of people and making connections.

“I liked it!” Nott exclaims, “Toya was especially amazing!”

Caleb nods in agreement, “I agree. It was nice.”

Molly playfully rolls his eyes, “What rave reviews from the both of you.” He sighs, “ A show for the ages and that’s all you have to say about it? ”

“It was a _very_ nice show.” Frumpkin makes a noise of agreement at Caleb’s words.

“Remind me that I need to ask Gustav for a raise. I clearly underestimated my importance.” Molly says. Nott scoffs at that.

As they exit out of the tent, Yasha nods at them and hands back Molly’s scimitars. Molly gives her a peck on the cheek, “Thank you, darling. You’re much better at this job than I ever was.”

Yasha smiles at them and then goes to cater to the rest of the people behind them. There’s a large pile of weaponry beside her that wasn’t there when he and Nott had entered. Caleb is about to assault Molly with questions, but the tiefling beats him to the punch.

“Bless Yasha,” he says as they make their way around the main tent. “She’s only been with us for a month but she’s already settled into her position flawlessly. She’s much better equipped to deal with any rowdy patrons and she is actually able to remember which weapons go to what person.”

“And that used to be your job?” Nott’s nose scrunches up as she tries to picture it, “It sounds like you’d be terrible at it.”

Molly smiles conspiratorially, “I was. I could never remember a damn thing.” Then he laughs like he told the funniest joke in the world. “Always mixed up whose weapons were whose and not everyone was intimidated by me. Wasn’t really the best fit.”

Caleb tries to picture it, imagining Molly in Yasha’s position as a circus bouncer, trying to intimidate people the way Yasha does so effortlessly. He winces.

Molly laughs at Caleb’s expression, “Yes, my thoughts exactly.”

They’ve made their way almost a quarter around the main tent, far enough away that they’re no longer able to see Yasha. Finally separated from other people, Caleb finds himself relaxing and realizing that he truly did enjoy the show. It was a nice reprieve from everyday life. A fantastical display that was rooted in the people performing, rather than magic or words that Caleb is more familiar with.

“Gustav still wants to talk to you, but he’s probably going to be tied up for a bit. You’re both welcome to-”

A scream tears through the air, but it’s faint enough that Caleb isn’t sure if anyone else but them were able to hear it. It had come from around the area of the circus members’ personal tents. Caleb turns towards Molly, about to ask if they should alert Yasha when the tiefling jumps into action, immediately running off in the direction of the scream. Frumpkin jumps off and follows suit.

Both Caleb and Nott stand there, frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do. They both look towards each other and then nod, following Mollymauk’s trail. The run until they see Mollymauk and what looks to be Toya, hiding behind him with Frumpkin in her arms. Even from this distance, Caleb can see that she appears to be shaken and her formerly pure white dress is now covered in mud. They aren’t alone. As Caleb realizes this, he pulls Nott behind a nearby cart, successfully hiding the both of them from view. They’re too far away to hear any of the words being said, but it is clear that tension is radiating off of Mollymauk. Both of his scimitars are out and he appears to be hissing something to the group of men that have him and Toya surrounded.

Caleb counts five men in total and recognizes them as one of the groups in the audience that had been drinking heavily before the show. The fact that they’re outside means that they must’ve already passed Yasha and might be armed. It’s not a comforting thought. He isn’t sure of how good a swordsman Molly is, but taking on a group of five large men would be a hassle for anyone, even the most experienced of fighters. Caleb entertains the idea of somehow alerting Yasha to the situation, but ultimately dismisses the idea. Neither him nor Nott are very quick runners and if Caleb sends Frumpkin to her, there is no guarantee that the circus bouncer would be able to understand the message the familiar would be trying to convey. 

Molly only has Caleb and Nott as help.

Caleb’s mind is still working overtime, going over every possible spell he could use or con they can enact to get them all out of trouble. They have to be careful. One wrong move and any of them could get seriously hurt or end up in the hands of the crownsguard, depending on how things play out.

Nott is practically vibrating next to him, “Caleb what should we do?” She whispers to him, clearly panicked.

Caleb takes a breath and steadies himself, trying to calm is erratic heart, “We’ll do the _prince and the pauper_.” 

He squats down to Nott’s level and grabs her by the shoulders, “But you will not take anything from them, not this time. It is too risky and too many things can go wrong. Just run, okay?”

Nott nods, “Okay, Caleb.”

“Okay.” Caleb repeats, squeezing her shoulders. 

He stands up once again, trying to gauge the situation further when something strange happens. During his brief conversation with Nott, at least three of them men had pulled out knives or daggers and were closing in on Molly and Toya. Caleb watches as Molly takes one of his simitars and cuts _himself_. The scimitar then proceeds to glow before ice crystallizes around the blade.

All five men back up in shock and fear. However, after a moment one of the men seems to get angry by the bizarre display. Instead of cowering in fear as he had been doing earlier, he growls at Molly and seems to encourage the other men to do the same. Everyone else still seems to be trying to understand the sight before them, so Caleb knows that this is the perfect opportunity for he and Nott to step in. Just as he goes to address Nott, he thinks he sees a pair of red eyes meet his gaze.

“Nott, now.” He whispers, eyes still glued to the scene in front of him.

In his peripheral vision he sees Nott transform herself into the appearance of a haggard and dirty halfling woman. Caleb also casts disguise self and changes into a crownsguard, an older and fit man in service to the empire. Once the disguises are in place Nott runs off, barreling towards the angry man and colliding with him. The man had been too focused on Mollymauk that he had been ill prepared for Nott’s impact. They both topple over while the other men make varying noises of confusion. Molly and Toya also seem caught off by the sudden appearance of a poor halfling joining the fray. 

“Halt!” Caleb yells, trying his best to sound commanding and confident as he pretends to pursue Nott.

Nott scrambles up, dislodging herself from the man now lying prone on the ground. The attacker gets enough of his bearings to grab at Nott’s ankles before she has time to escape. Thankfully, Nott is a nimble little thing and manages to slip out of his grasp, spitting at him as she does so. None of the man’s friends is able to catch her after that so she is able to make a straight break for the dense patch of trees behind them.

When Caleb is close enough to the two groups he tries to mask his accent and deepens his voice, “Did any of you happen to see-” He cuts himself off as he pretends to absorb the scene in front of him. Now that he’s close enough, Caleb can see how pale Toya has become because of the situation. There are multiple scratches and bruises across her face and the rest of her body. Mollymauk has a shifty and fearful look in his eyes. It’s then that Caleb realizes that the tiefling is not only bleeding from the self inflicted cut on his arm but also from the red eye on his neck. Caleb forces himself to look at the other men.

“What is going on here?” He asks authoritatively. He puts a hand out to the man on the ground, who takes it gratefully. When the man is on his feet Caleb does not let go of his hand, rather he tightens his grip. “Well?”

The man jerks his hand out of Caleb’s roughly. “What does it look like? Those circus freaks threatened and attacked us!” The man looks towards his friends in support but they all still shaken and wary now that a supposed crownsguard is getting involved.

Caleb glances back at Toya and Molly, “Those two? They seem like the ones who are injured, one of them’s even bleeding.”

The man’s face turns an violent shade of red, “The demon did that to himself!”

Molly bristles at the comment, “All this _demon_ was doing was stepping in as five pathetic excuses for grown men were harassing a little girl.”

“Listen here, you-” But Caleb has heard enough and knows that the situation might escalate beyond his control if he doesn't put a stop to it now. As he turns to the inebriated group, Caleb discreetly attempts to reach for his pouch and grab the components he needs.

“Sir,” Caleb addresses the man standing directly in front of him.

“The name’s Christopher Wells.” The man grumbles. No one else offers up a name or dares to say anything else. 

“Mr. Wells,” Caleb amends and he does not even have to fake the frustration in his voice. “It is the crownsguard’s duty to uphold and defend the laws of the empire. A thorough investigation will be underway to determine the validity of each of your claims. The Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities will remain in Legram until they are either proven innocent or guilty.” 

Both sides look ready to argue, but thankfully Toya seems to calm Molly down. The tiefling holds the singer’s hand as he nods to Caleb. Christopher still looks visibly agitated, covered in dirt and knife still in hand. It’s like nothing will satisfy him until a fight break out.

“Chris,” one of his friends speaks up, a young blond man who looks to be the most concerned about what’s going on, “maybe we should just go. Let the crownsgaurd take care of anything.”

Caleb’s hand finally brushes against what he had been looking for, “Perhaps you should listen to your friend? Go home and leave this all behind you?”

The next few seconds feel impossibly long as Caleb waits to see if his spell has taken affect. If this fails then he’s all out of tricks. He doesn’t want to think about the consequences that would undoubtedly follow. A fight would be inevitable and, if by some stroke of luck, he survives it then he might end up imprisoned for impersonating a crownsguard. 

A few more seconds pass before Christopher curses at him but ultimately turns around and heads in the direction of the town. The rest of his friends follow suit, incling their heads in Caleb’s direction as if that act would make them redeemable in his eyes. Caleb has so many things he wants to say to them but he refrains.

As soon as they’re out of sight, Caleb releases a breath he hadn’t been aware that he was holding and walks closer towards Molly and Toya. Molly gently pushes Toya further behind his legs, effectively hiding her from Caleb.

“As much as I do appreciate you diffusing that situation, that wasn’t our fault. Those buffoons were drunk out of their mind, trespassed where they didn’t belong, and harassed us.” Molly says, looking a little unhinged by the whole ordeal.

“I know.” Caleb says, exhaustion hitting him hard. “We need to leave.”

“You know?” The tiefling asks, simmering with anger. Although his scimitars are no longer raised, Molly is still holding onto them and Caleb can see this grip tightening. “You know all of that and still expect us to go with you? Why would we ever do that?”

Caleb drops the illusion, “Because we probably have roughly eight hours before they possibly come back here, if that. So we should go.”

He’s met with disbelief and silence. 

Toya peaks her head around Molly’s legs, “Caleb?”

“Huh, I’m beginning to rethink my stance on a man in uniform. I’m starting to see the appeal.” Mollymauk says with an edge of hysteria.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Many hours later, after they’ve managed to clear out the circus and alerted all of the members as to what had transpired, Caleb finds himself alone. The circus was able to pack rather quickly and leave town, Caleb gets the distinct impression that this is not the first time they’ve had to leave in a hurry. They’re camped out a good distance away from Legram, but are still within a short riding’s distance away. Gustav had stayed in town overnight in order to sort out some last minute details and complete some errands. The circus master had asked that, if Nott and Caleb were willing, they would stay with the circus for the night and talk with him tomorrow morning. Neither Caleb nor Nott had been comfortable staying in Legram after the incident that had occured so they agreed. After they had set up camp, Nott had went out to look after Toya and left Caleb with his thoughts. 

“Hey.” A voice calls out to him.

Orna walks towards him, looking drained. There are bags under her eyes and her shoulders look stiff as she sits down beside Caleb. She pulls out a flask and offers it out towards him.

“It’s water,” she says and gives it a little shake.

“No thank you,” Caleb replies. Orna shrugs and takes a big chug. Neither of them are looking at the other, instead they both stare out in the direction of Legram.

“Thank you for today.” The words sound sincere, but Caleb still can’t help but think there is some sort of catch or judgment hidden beneath them. “You saved two of our own today. We don’t take that lightly. I don’t take that lightly.”

Caleb doesn't know what to say to that. He still doesn't know how to deal with other people besides Nott, and even that can be a challenge at times. Orna, apparently expecting this, gets up and walks away.

Over her shoulder she shouts, “You’re staying in Yasha and Molly’s tent. So is Nott if Kylre and Toya kick her out of theirs.”

Caleb nods before realizing that the fire dancer cannot see that, but by the time he opens his mouth the woman is already gone. With nothing else to do, Caleb decides that sleep may be for the best and heads off to his designated tent. He makes it there just as Yasha is leaving it.

“I’m first watch.” She explains as Caleb looks at her questioningly. Having her on watch eases Caleb’s mind, he’s had enough surprises for one day.

Caleb wants to enter the tent but Yasha does not move from the entrance. She looks uncomfortable and uncertain.

“Caleb,” Her two different colored eyes bore into his, pinning him in place, “be careful in there, for both of your sakes.”

She leaves him with those cryptic words. Caleb stares at the tent, suddenly apprehensive. He knows that Mollymauk is probably the only one inside. Everyone had already settled into their respective tents already. He and Mollymauk hadn’t had a chance to talk to each other in all of the chaos in packing up the circus and setting up camp. For once, Caleb had not been the one doing the avoiding. The tiefling had seemed reluctant to talk to anyone after they told the circus everything. The wizard wonders what is lying in wait inside the tent.

He walks in determined to find out.

He finds Mollymauk lying on a bedroll, devoid of his boots, coat, jerkin, and gloves. The sight makes Caleb feel like some intruder or voyer. Molly only in his loose fitting shirt and patterned pants, looks strangely vulnerable. Molly hadn’t moved at all when Caleb walked him. The situation is unnerving but Caleb isn’t sure if the tieling is asleep or merely does not want to talk so the wizard does not say anything. Instead, he makes his way over to the bedrolls. There are four laid out and Molly’s already occupying one of the middle ones. Caleb goes for the the one farthest away from Molly, on one of the ends of the formation. He goes to lie down when Molly’s eyes shoot open and snap to him.

Caleb sits up in his bedroll, “You’re awake.”

Molly smiles lazily at him, “Correction, I’m drunk.” 

His accent is thicker, Caleb notices. His face also appears flushed and his eyes unfocused. The tiefling sits up and motions to several empty bottles by the foot of the bedroll. 

“I see.” Caleb says slowly, at a loss for what else to say.

Molly hums, “Probably too much.”

This grabs Caleb’s full attention. He bites his lips so hard they nearly bleed, “Mollymauk, we don’t have to talk about it. We don’t have to talk at all in fact, if that’s what you want.”

Molly swallows, “And if I do want to talk about it? What then Caleb?”

“I won’t stop you.” Caleb says quietly, eyes downcast. Far be it for him to judge a person’s method of coping. 

Molly hums again. It’s quiet for long enough that Caleb wonders if the tiefling had changed his mind. He’s not expecting it when Molly’s speaks up again, “You’re not the least bit curious about what I did? I mean it’s pretty weird, even for carnival folk.”

Caleb rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, “They’re your abilities.” He says because he does not have any other answers.

“See, I’m not quite sure about that.” Molly reaches out and grabs three of the empty bottles and begins juggling them. Despite being drunk, he manages to keep them in motion for a bit before setting them down again. “Juggling? That is one of my abilities. Bullshiting people? Also one of my many abilities. That shit that happened out there? I have no idea what that was.”

Caleb stares at him confused, “But you just cut yourself, just like that. No hesitation.”

Molly laughs, “Have I mentioned how much I adore how blunt you are? It’s incredibly refreshing.” Molly laughs again but there’s no trace of humor in this one, “My body just sort of moved on its own out there. Those guys were shouting all sorts of unpleasant things and before I knew it I had a cut on my arm and a goddamn ice scimitar in him hand.”

Molly lets out a breath and falls back down onto his bedroll. He covers his eyes with one of his arms. He doesn’t look to be expecting anything else from Caleb and Caleb isn’t actually expecting much from himself either, but he finds that he wants to help Mollymauk. He knows from personal experience what it’s like to be scared of your own abilities. He also knows what it’s like to be desperate for help but not know how to ask for it.

The tiefling had helped him in too many ways for Caleb to turn a blind eye to his suffering. He has to help. He wants to help. He wants to be more than the empty and useless husk he had been reduced to. He wants to reach out to Molly.

So he does just that.

He moves to the other bedroll, getting closer to Mollymauk. He raises his hand intent on laying a comforting hand on the tiefling but he finds that he does not know how to. Caring for others does not come naturally to Caleb. His hand hovers uselessly above Molly’s head until he retracts it, using it instead to thread through his own hair.

“Mollymauk,” Caleb calls out.

The tiefling immediately sits up, probably surprised by how close Caleb had sounded. In doing so, Caleb and Molly end up face to face and incredibly close.

“Oh,” Molly lets out, and at this distance Caleb can smell the alcohol on him, as well as the scent of flowers. The smell of jasmine, Caleb thinks nonsensically. 

“Hello there, sweetheart.” Molly reaches up and plucks out one of the blue flowers in Caleb's hair, “I meant to tell you that I like the flowers in your hair. They bring out your eyes.”

“Thank you. They were Nott’s idea.” Caleb responds automatically while he leans back, putting more distance between them. “Mollymauk, whatever you want to do with your abilities, it is your choice. You can decide to never use them again or you can learn more about them and master them. It’s up to you. There’s no right or wrong answer.”

Caleb looks down at his own hands, “I will say this though. I think these abilities and whatever abilities may appear in the future, I think they will be safe in your hands no matter what you do.”

Caleb takes a breath and shuts his eyes, pushing away his feelings of discomfort, “From what I have seen from you, Mollymauk Tealeaf, I think you are a good man.”

“Caleb,” Molly says, and Caleb has never heard his name said with such raw emotion. He looks up and locks gazes with Molly, “Thank you and I am sorry.”

“Sorry?” Caleb questions, unsure of why the tiefling would feel the need to apologize. 

“I thought you would run away.” Mollymauk admits, voice still packed with emotion.

Caleb shakes his head, “You don’t need to apologize for that, Nott and I almost did. We could have left just as easily as we had decided to stay for the show.”

Now Molly shakes his head and sighs, “No, not then. Well, that’s not the time I’m apologizing for at least. I saw you tonight, hiding behind the cart. It was just a second and then when I looked back you were gone. I thought you ran. Part of me hoped that you were going to get Yasha, but another part of me was decidedly less hopeful and was more cynical.”

“That’s alright,” Caleb says and he means it, “I don’t blame you.”

The look Molly gives Caleb can only be called searching. It’s too much for Caleb so he’s forced to look away. 

“I didn’t know you had that steel in you, didn’t see that spark and fight you had underneath it all.” Molly’s voice is impossibly soft as he says his next words, “Now I do.”

“You know Gustav’s going to offer you and Nott as place here, right?” Molly asks into the silence that had followed.

Caleb hesitates, “I had a feeling.”

“He’s going to insist on it after what’s happened tonight.” Molly begins playing with one of the necklaces around his neck. “You don’t have to accept.”

Those words are enough for Caleb to meet Molly’s gaze again, “What?”

Neither of them look away, “I’m just saying, you have a choice too.”

“Oh,” is the only sound that leaves Caleb’s mouth.

Molly puts a hand on Caleb’s shoulder and gently presses his lips to Caleb’s forehead. It’s incredibly warm and the sensation seems to travel all across Caleb’s body. Molly leans back, eyes shut, but still in Caleb’s space, “You don’t have to stay, but I’d really like it if you did.”

Any words that Caleb could have said in reply gets stuck in his throat.

“Shit,” Molly says, moving back and giving Caleb space. “I didn’t mean to cross any boundaries. Shit, I’m so sorry. I just-”

Molly makes a frustrated noise, “I’ve been drinking, and it’s been a weird night even by my standards, and I should just get some sleep.” Molly lays back down in his bedroll, facing away from Caleb. “The world will hopefully make more sense in the morning. Or, at the very least, the room will stop spinning.”

Caleb stares at Molly’s form, but the tiefling does not move at all. Caleb considers going back to the other bedroll, to get farther away from Molly and the effect that the tiefling has on him, but he ultimately decides against it and stays.

As he settles in for the night, quietly he says, “Goodnight, Mollymauk, sleep well.”

He’s already drifting off when he hears, “Goodnight, Caleb, sweet dreams.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pacing? What is Pacing? What is a consistent word count range?
> 
> Random/fun facts:
> 
> -Legram is from a videogame I've played (Trails of Cold Steel and Marisha is actually in it!). I couldn't come up with a name and I lloked at the map of Wildemount and no town was in the location I needed it to be/ I wanted it to be it's own thing. 
> 
> -This chapter such a struggle. I would write something, finish the scene and then scrap all of it. I like how this turned out in the end though, I think? (I'm posting this pretty late so let's see how I feel after sleep)
> 
> -The flowers Nott puts in Caleb's hair are Forget-Me-Nots because I think it's perfect and hilarious for various reasons.
> 
> -I had an issue coming up with circus acts, can you guys tell?
> 
> -(spoilers for this chap) Molly's blood hunter powers/abilities only manifest now! As I said before I'm really messing with the timeline and abilities, so that's why Molly is finding out about his abilities now while Caleb also has access to Suggestion (I hope that came across).
> 
> -I might add more notes later when I'm not so tired.
> 
> Anyway thank you to everyone who has commented, subscribed, bookmarked, or left kudos on this fic. It makes me so incredibly happy to hear from you guys or see that people are interested in this fic! 
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Please let me know what you guys think!
> 
> Feel free to talk to me on tumblr: someone-who-believed


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, all the mistakes are my own. Thanks to CodeSculptor for all the help!

Caleb wakes up surprisingly warm.

It takes him a moment to realize that there is something physically weighing on his chest, radiating heat. A small smile makes its way across his face when he opens his eyes and is greeted with the sight of Frumpkin lying on his chest. The familiar opens his eyes slowly, sensing Caleb’s gaze on him, and lets out a low purring noise but otherwise makes no signs of moving off of Caleb. The wizard pets the cat, taking comfort in the feeling of Frumpkin’s soft fur underneath his hand. When he had been younger, Caleb hadn’t given much thought to having a familiar. Back then, his only desire had been to learn what he had been led to believe were the most powerful and intricate spells. At that time, familiars seemed like a waste of magic and resources, but now Caleb could not imagine a life without Frumpkin by his side. 

Frumpkin had seen Caleb through some of the roughest years of the wizard’s life. After everything that had transpired in the asylum, Caleb had shied away from using magic for some time. He had been too afraid to cast any spells or cantrips, the memory of his parents’ passing still fresh in his mind, but magic was a part of him. He could only ignore it for so long. Eventually, when Caleb realized he had little skills besides magic to sustain him, he summoned Frumpkin. Originally, the familiar was just meant to act as a distraction while Caleb would steal what he could, but somewhere along the way Caleb found himself relying more and more on the cat. They took care of each other when no one else would.

In the stillness of the morning, with just him and his cat, Caleb almost forgets everything that had transpired in the previous days. It only hits him when he hears a noise beside him and when he turns, instead of finding Nott curled up next to him, he sees a purple tiefling. Mollymauk, his brain supplies as he jerks back. Frumpkin hisses at the motion and jumps off of Caleb’s chest, landing in the space between him and Molly, but Caleb ignores the familiar’s grumpiness.

Whatever material the tents are made of allows enough of the early morning sunlight in so that Caleb doesn’t need to strain his eyes to see. Sitting up he notes that Yasha is now occupying the other bedroll next to Molly, but the bedroll next to Caleb still remains empty. Nott must have chosen to stay with Toya and Kylre after all. With everyone else asleep, Caleb takes a moment to asses everything that had happened in the past few days.

Two days. Two days, if that, and somehow he’s become heavily involved with a traveling circus and their apparent multitude of strange problems. He’s at a loss for what to do now. There is no longer any debt between them, not after last night when he and Nott had been able to resolve the tense situation Molly and Toya had been caught up in. Now, if he and Nott stay, it will be because they want to, not because they are forced to. The question though is though, do they _want_ to stay? 

Caleb looks at the tiefling beside him, sound asleep. The other man looks so peaceful, a far cry from his distressed state mere hours earlier. Sometime during the night, the laces in the front of Molly's shirt had loosened, making it possible for one of the sleeves to fall off of his shoulder. Caleb cannot help but stare at the exposed expanse of skin. Scars seem to litter every part of Molly’s body. The fact that he had confided in Caleb about last night being the first time that he had cut himself to activate his sword only leaves the wizard with more questions and worries. None of the scars look recent, but Caleb can’t help but wonder if they still hurt or if Molly is bothered by their presence. He wonders if it’s a physical reminder of something, something Molly’s ashamed of or proud of. It makes Caleb think of how his own body is relatively unblemished, despite the atrocities he’s committed. Burn marks would be the only appropriate thing for him.

His hand is reaching out towards the tiefling before he’s fully aware of it. Whether it’s to trace along one of Molly’s scars or to fix the tiefling’s shirt, Caleb isn’t sure, but he freezes at the sound of Frumpking meowing. Still situated between Caleb and Molly, Frumpkin stares at Caleb’s outstretched hand. Caleb gets the distinct feeling that Frumpkin is confused by the entire situation.

Retracting his hand, Caleb tries to play it off as he had been going to fix his own hair. As whole flowers and petals fall from Caleb’s hair, Frumpkin is now undoubtedly radiating amusement. 

“Why don’t you go and see if Nott’s awake?” Caleb asks, embarrassed. “I’ll follow you in a moment.”

As the cat goes to follow the command, he rubs up against Caleb affectionately before quietly slipping out of the tent. 

“What am I doing?” Caleb mutters to himself. He rubs his eyes and lets out a long sigh, “I think I want to help you, but I do not know if I can or if it is wise. I did not have proper guidance myself, so I may just do more harm than good if we stay.”

Putting off the decision to leave or stay until after the performance had originally seemed like a sensible decision, but now Caleb is left with nothing but doubts. It would have been easier to leave had he not seen how vulnerable Molly could be or how much the tiefling was afraid of his new abilities. The confusion and uncertainty Molly must have felt is something Caleb can understand. It almost reminds him of himself. But, in the short time Caleb has known the man, Mollymauk has shown more bravery and strength than Caleb has ever possessed. 

Part of Caleb wants to stay and help, to maybe find some sort of purpose in life again. He can’t help but be fascinated by Molly’s abilities. Caleb has seen and read about a lot of different kinds of magic, but he’s never stumbled across anything resembling Molly’s powers before. He misses the time when studying magic had been purely for his enjoyment and satisfaction. The other part of Caleb wants to fall back on old habits. It’s become his instinct to run and to not get involved in complicated matters. It’s a mindset that has kept him alive so far. He’s also never been good with people, and so he’s not sure how well traveling with a large and vibrant group would go. However, there’s also the fact that Caleb genuinely likes Molly’s company.

The tiefling is loud, a trait Caleb typically finds offputting in others, but Molly has also respected his boundaries. The other man has a quick wit and a sense of humor that even Caleb can sometimes understand. He’s also shown more kindness and compassion than many people Caleb has met throughout his life. Caleb can’t help but be interested in the mysterious and lively tiefling.

There’s also the possibility that the wizard is attracted to the other man, but Caleb is trying to steadfastly ignore that. He’s met many attractive people in his travels so he knows how to control himself. Maybe none of them had been as captivating or as eye catching as Mollymauk, but Caleb is used to denying himself things he desires. His possible attraction to Molly should not factor into his decision of staying. If his first and last relationships are anything to go by then it’s really for the best. So Caleb tries not to think about Molly’s laugh. He tries not to think about Molly’s warm and gentle touch. He tries not to think about how Molly has tried to understand him, to help him, or made _him_ smile. Caleb tries so hard.

Caleb sighs aloud again and shakes his head, as if that would give him clarity.

It’s too early for any of this. His mind is still groggy and he cannot focus properly, at least not on the things he should actually be focusing on. There’s no point in drowning himself with worries or what-ifs without actually knowing what staying would entail and what Nott wants to do. 

With that thought, Caleb gets up slowly and leaves the tent.

He tries not to look back at Molly as he goes.

He fails.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Someone nearly knocks Caleb over as he exits the tent.

“Ah, sorry about that.” The stranger says as he grabs a hold of one of Caleb’s arms, steadying him. “Although, you are the one I was coming over to see.”

Caleb doesn’t recognize the man immediately, not without the extravagant costume and makeup. It’s Desmond, the fiddle player. It’s strange to see him stripped bare, bald head and facial scars out for all the world to see. Caleb quickly averts his gaze.

“I’m Desmond Moondrop, by the way.” The fiddle player introduces himself as he releases Caleb, giving the wizard’s arm a gentle pat. “I didn’t get to introduce myself last night with everything that happened.”

“Caleb Widogast,” the Zemnian man replies, still avoiding eye contact.

“The hero of the hour.” Desmond says, and although he says kindly it still makes Caleb tense up.

“That’s really untrue.” Caleb says to the ground. “I have to go find Nott.”

The wizard attempts to sidestep the performer, but Desmond stops him and keeps him in place. Caleb does not particularly feel like interacting with anyone this morning, least of all with a new person, and goes to say this but Desmond speaks up first.

“Woah there, slow down a bit. I know where Nott is, she and your cat are with Gustav right now. They’re all waiting on you actually.” Desmond gestures to one of the smaller tents across the way.

“Oh,” Caleb says dumbly, “I see, thank you.”

There’s an awkward beat where neither of them move or speak until Desmond chuckles. “Well I’ll leave you to it then. I’m sure that you can get from here to there without causing any trouble, unlike most of this lot. It was nice speaking with you, Caleb.”

“I highly doubt it.” Caleb mutters as he moves passed Desmond, who snorts loudly. Caleb thinks he hears something along the lines of _‘Yeah you’ll fit right in here,’_ but he doesn’t stop to address it. 

When he finally makes it to the tent the wizard is greeted with more people than he expected. There’s Nott and Frumpkin, huddled together with their backs near the side of the tent. The goblin looks good, all things considered. Her hair actually looks tamed for once instead of the knotted mess it usually is. It’s not a big difference but something about the subtle change makes Caleb realize how much they’ve both neglected their appearances and how much they’ve been struggling to make ends meet. The fact that someone, probably Toya, had helped Nott with something as simple as her hair tugs at something inside of Caleb’s heart. 

He gives Nott a small nod before taking in the appearance of the others inside the tent. Gustav is there, of course. He looks ragged, his face incredibly pale and with prominent bags under his eyes. As Caleb gives him a quick glance, he realizes that the carnival master has yet to change out of his costume, which is now significantly more wrinkled than before. Despite Gustav’s clear exhaustion, the man still manages to muster up a smile at Caleb’s entrance.

Beside him are two figures, one of which Caleb can recognize. Beauregard looks disgruntled as she talks to the tall half-orc beside her. Caleb recalls that the last time he had seen Beauregard had been before the show and she had seemingly disappeared afterwards. 

“Hey,” Beau calls out in greeting. She’s looking at Caleb differently, staring him down. It makes Caleb’s skin crawl. This is what he wanted to avoid: expectation and attention. 

The half-orc next to Beau elbows the woman in her ribs. 

“Beau,” the man says in a deep drawl, exasperated. “We’ve talked about this.”

“What?” The woman practically yells and she sounds indignant. “I only said one thing this time! There’s no way I could’ve pissed someone off already.”

The half-orc sighs, “You and I both know that you’ve pissed people off with less.”

Beau opens her mouth and then promptly shuts it. “Fair,” she says as she shrugs. 

Caleb debates walking out of the tent. He’s fairly certain that Nott and Frumpkin would follow his lead. Out of the corner of his eyes he notices Nott get up and walk towards the cluster of people, so the wizard does the same despite his apprehension.

Once he’s close enough, the half-orc nods at him and extends his own hand. “Hi, I’m Fjord, Beau’s friend.”

Caleb hesitates for a moment but eventually takes Fjord’s hand and shakes it, “Caleb Widoghast.”

“Beau has a friend?” Nott asks with exaggerated shock.

Beau glares at the rogue, “Don’t think I won’t fight you, because I will.”

Fjord rubs his temples, “She will.”

Gustav clears his throat before anyone else gets a chance to chime in. He looks strangely amused, fond, and exasperated all at once. Caleb’s willing to bet that the half elf is no stranger to seeing petty squabbles, especially considering the company he keeps.

“Although I’m sure that would be quite the sight, I would like to get down to business first before any battles of honor start.” Gustav says as he looks at all of them.

“Your mistake is thinking we have any honor at all.” Nott interjects, playing with a ring that Caleb knows she didn’t have a couple of days prior.

“Ha!” Beau laughs and then points to Nott with her thumb, “I’m with Nott on that one.”

Gustav is looking more worn out by the second, “Be that as it may, I would still like to discuss something with all of you.”

He eyes them all warily but none of them interrupt him this time. Nott discreetly shuffles closer to Caleb, and Frumpkin sits himself in between them, seemingly also interested in what the carnival master has to say. Beau and Fjord nod to each other just before Gustav begins speaking again. 

“As you all know, last night there was some trouble and a few of our people were placed in danger.” Gustav begins. He looks troubled as he recollects the incident.

“Trouble? In Legram? You don’t say.” Beau’s sarcastic remark earns her another jab to the ribs from Fjord, and this time she winces after the impact.

“Sorry,” She mumbles. 

Gustav continues as if she had never interrupted in the first place, “It has been brought to our attention that we are understaffed in some areas. Yasha is incredible. She’s actually our most recent hire but she’s done an amazing job guarding the circus. However, Yasha is just one person and she has a habit of Yasha-ing.”

Caleb blinks, unsure if he heard correctly. “Yasha-ing?”

This makes Gustav blush slightly, “Ah, forgive me. I haven’t slept much so my mind is somewhere else. Yasha-ing is what we call it when Yasha randomly leaves for a certain amount of time to take care of some business.”

Fjord raises an eyebrow at this, “What kind of business?”

“Personal,” Gustav answers, voice firm.

“And she just up and vanishes sometimes?” Nott asks, clearly thrown off by how nonchalant Gustav is by Yasha’s disappearance. “No goodbyes or see you laters? No warning to the wife and kids? Just poof and gone?”

“Wife and kids?” Beau nearly shrieks as she looks at Nott. Horror is clearly written across her face.

“It’s an expression. Yasha doesn’t have a wife or any kids.” Nott says, but then pauses, “Or maybe she does? Maybe that’s where she keeps disappearing off to! I’ve done it! I’ve solved the mystery!”

“Yasha’s business is her own, but to my knowledge, she doesn't have any significant other or children to speak of. To my knowledge.” Gustav emphasize the last part, and seemingly calms Beau’s nerves in the process. “We don’t like to restrict anyone in the circus, whatever business or matters anyone has to deal with we can work around. As long as everyone contributes in some way, they are welcomed here.”

“Alright, let’s cut to the chase here.” Beau says, clearly impatient. “You want to hire us for guard duty but we’re still free to take on side jobs?”

“That’s what I would hire you and Fjord to do specifically, yes.” Gustav points to both Fjord and beau, leaving Caleb very confused as to what his and Nott’s role in the circus would then be. “We could also talk about creating or including you both in some circus acts, but that would be in the future. For now, I would like you to coordinate with Yasha and make sure that what happened last night never happens again.”

Gustav looks them both in eye, “As long as the circus is relatively safe or is not performing, you both will be free to take on as many other side jobs as you desire, with no questions asked. Of course, you are also welcome to include any of the other members in on your jobs, should you need the help or the company.”

“If we do agree to this deal, would we have to answer to Yasha directly?” Fjord asks.

“I would leave the dynamics of the group up to you all. You would first have to talk to Yasha and Molly just to straighten out the details of everything, but they are both fairly flexible.” Gustav responds as he rubs the back of his neck.

“Molly?!” Beau cringes. “Why would we need to answer to him?”

“It used to be Molly’s job before Yasha came.” Caleb supplies and instantly regrets it when everyone besides Nott turns in his direction.

“I- yes that’s correct.” Gustav says, looking at Caleb with renewed interest. “Whenever Yasha is incapable of carrying out her duties, Molly usually takes over.” 

Beau makes a face but otherwise makes no other comment.

“Can we have time to think this over?” Fjord puts on a charming smile, “We do appreciate your generous offer but we would like to consider a few things before we make a decision.”

Gustav returns the smile, “Of course. The nearest town from here is about a three days' journey away so there is no rush.”

“What about us?” Nott jumps in, eager to know what their job would entail.

The circus master crosses his arms and looks contemplative, “You two are a special case. Molly and Toya have both told me about what you did last night, and I am both grateful and impressed. There’s also been talk of your special skill set Nott.”

Off to the side Caleb hears Beau whisper, “If they’re calling stealing a special skill set, can I start calling punching people _my_ special skill set?”

Fjord lets out a long sigh.

“You both have proven that you’re not only capable of handling trouble but that you also have flair and showmanship. There are many things you could do here, but if possible, I would like it if you two had your own act.” Gustav looks at them imploringly.

“No,” is Caleb’s immediate and visceral response. “I cannot perform. I do not do well in front of crowds. It is- I just cannot.”

“I’m with Caleb,” is all Nott has to say on the matter.

There had once been a time when he might have actually considered taking up Gustav’s offer but that time had long passed. Caleb no longer wants to be special or well known. He’s all too familiar with the trouble recognition and talent can bring. He’d rather run off with Nott if that’s all that’s being offered. 

Thankfully, Gustav does not press the issue or ask any questions. “Alright, if you don’t want to be the stars of your performances, then how about you help out with some of the other acts? Add a little ambiance or special effects where you can, nothing that would put you front and center unless you wanted it. Also you could help out with any trouble that might come up, should the need arise. Of course you’d all get a percentage of the profits from the circus and the freedom of accepting other side jobs.”

It’s a good deal, maybe the best Caleb has heard in years. A steady source of income sounds appealing, especially after such a long time of being unsure of when their next meal would be. He and Nott wouldn’t have to struggle as much and, from how Gustav made it sound, they could possibly leave any time they wanted to. However, Caleb still has his reservations, especially when something sounds too good to be true.

The wizard looks down at Nott, trying to gauge her reaction to everything. The goblin just shrugs and seems to defer to Caleb’s judgment on the matter. “May we also have time to deliberate? There is a lot to discuss.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything less. All of you, please let me know when you’ve come to a decision.” Gustav sends them off with a smile but it’s easy to see how tired the other man is underneath it all. Caleb can’t fathom how many responsibilities the circus master must bear and how he’s able to decide on so much for so many others. It’s not a position Caleb envies. 

When all of them make it out of the tent, Beau speaks up. “So we’re all taking the job right? I mean it’s not like any of us have any better offers, really.”

“It is a good deal, but it’s also a serious commitment and from what you’ve told me there are a lot of other people involved. I’ve only talked with some of the people here, and those conversations were always pretty brief. I’d rather get a better feel for the people here first before we bite off more than we can chew.” Fjord says as he looks at the other tents. “I’d rather not have a repeat of what happened in Zesteria again, right Beau?”

Beau doesn't respond.

“I like the people here.” Nott says as she pets Frumpkin, “Most of them anyway.”

“Nott’s right, they’re good people. Or well, maybe not good, more like shitty but like our brand of shitty so it works out.” Something then catches Beau’s eyes and grabs her full attention.

“Oi!” She yells and Caleb winces at how loud it comes out. He’s certain that everyone in the clearing heard her. “Breaker! You and me! Fight! Winner gets to keep the name Beau!”

She’s on the run, heading straight for Bosun before Fjord can grab her. The half-orc next to Caleb just shakes his head and looks resigned to whatever Beau has planned.

“Is she always so…” Caleb trails off, watching as Beau shouts out Bosun, who seems to take everything in stride.

“Impulsive?” Fjord finishes with a weary smile, “Yes, always.”

“I was actually going to ask if she is always so loud, but I think I have my answer.” Caleb says as he watches Beau take out her staff and hit Bosun in the arm, creating a loud and resounding smack. Bosun laughs and takes a swing at her in retaliation but Beau manages to dodge out of the way.

“Let’s get a closer look!” Nott drags Caleb by the sleeve and Fjord follows closely behind them. 

They don’t have to walk far, but as they do Caleb notices how some of the circus members begin to poke their heads out of their respective tents, drawn out by the disturbance. None of them look perturbed or worried by what they see before them. Some of them even wander out to get a better look at the action.

“Gods above, is that Beau?” Comes a voice Caleb has become familiar with. Caleb’s heart rate picks up, but he’s surprised to find that it’s not just from the normal anxiety he feels when interacting with people. His emotions concerning Molly have become increasingly more complex. He’s filled with a strange mix of anxiety, awkwardness, anticipation, and maybe even a little excitement. 

It’s then that Caleb realizes that Beauregard and Bosun are directly in front of Molly and Yasha’s tent, meaning that Caleb is also in front Molly and Yasha’s tent.

Molly’s voice rings out again, agitated. “How is that woman so loud, so early? How is she even here? Beau how-”

Molly stops short of his angry tirade when he walks out and the first thing he sees is Caleb. The wizard fights off his typical instinct to hide behind someone else, but it’s difficult with the way Mollymauk is looking at him. The teifling’s face is first astonished, but then it transforms into something else, something more raw and defenseless.

“Oh,” The word rushes out of Molly, sounding light and breathless. “You stayed.”

“For now,” Caleb says because it is the truth and he is at a loss for what else to say. He’s not sure as to why that was the wrong thing to say, only that it was because Molly’s face seems to shutter and become unreadable.

“That’s all anyone really has, isn’t it? There here and now.” Molly tries to say it in his usual easy-going manner but it falls flat. Even Caleb can pick up the change in the tiefling’s demeanor. The charming smile the other man wears looks too fake and wrong to belong on Molly’s handsome face. 

Molly’s awkwardness bothers Caleb more than it should. He finds himself trying to salvage the conversation, “Gustav wanted to speak with us, Nott, Fjord, Beau and I that is, early this morning.”

“That’s great! Well not great because early mornings are terrible, especially when you’re hungover. Though I suppose you weren’t the one drinking last night, but I digress. But I’m guessing he offered you a job. And by you, I mean all of you. Which is great. All of you are great.” Molly’s cheeks seem to color and he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, “And I am rambling and extremely hungover.”

A smile threatens to breakout onto Caleb’s face, but he manages to hold it back. It’s not often that he finds someone who struggles with words as he does, and he thinks it might be a rare occurrence for Molly. “Which is not great.”

Molly grins and it looks more genuine than before, “I’ll say.”

Another resounding crack echos into the air and Caleb turns in time to see Bosun’s fist connect with Beau’s ribs. He cannot help but wince at the sight. The twins, who had been intrigued enough to come out of their tents and watch the spectacle, begin to cheer loudly. 

“I still think Beau will win. Never underestimate the little guy.” Nott says, focused in on the fight. Caleb had nearly forgotten that Fjord and Nott were next to him, but as he looks at them, they both seem too absorbed with the fight to have paid him and Molly any attention.

“She’s certainly loud and scrappy, but you’ve never seen Bo fight seriously or with his pride and name on the line.” Molly makes a face as he finishes his sentence. “Okay, yeah I can see how this name thing could get confusing.”

Nott’s eyes narrow at Molly, “Two silver on little Beau.”

“Make it five and you have yourself a bet.” Molly says with a challenging grin. Nott grins back in response and the deal is set.

“I’d like to get in on that. Five silver on, uh, little Beau.” Fjord chimes in.

Molly sends the half-orc a sympathetic look, “It’ll be your loss, Fjord. I do respect your loyalty though. Actually I just respect the fact that you’re able to deal with her on a daily basis, honestly.”

Fjord chuckles and it’s a deep and rich sound, “Well you’re going to have to learn how to soon.”

A look of horror passes over Molly’s face as understanding dawns on him. Caleb bites his lip to keep from smiling. Nott has no such reservations and laughs loudly at Molly’s obvious reaction. 

Wiping away a stray tear, Nott asks. “So whoever wins gets to be called Beau or whatever, but what does the loser get called? Loser Beau? Lesser Beau? Lame Beau?”

“Loud Bo works for either of them too.” Caleb points out as both start shouting insults and jibes at each other.

“Ha! Very true. We’re never going to get any peace and quiet ever again.” Molly says, and he seems more excited by that prospect than upset over it.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Desmond appears next to Molly. He nods at them in greeting as he pats Molly on the back, grabbing the tiefling’s attention. “I see that you’ve all made it out of your talk with Gustav in one piece, congrats. Now let’s hope you have the same amount of luck, Molly.” 

Molly looks like he is about to protest but a look from Desmond silences him, “It’s either Gustav or Orna, take your pick.”

Caleb wonders why Orna would be the alternative person for Molly to talk to when the circus is named after both Gustav and Desmond, but he files that thought away for another time. He gets the sense that the leadership dynamic in the circus is more complicated than he believed. He watches as Molly sighs dramatically. 

“Alright, Gustav it is, not that there was actually much choice.” Molly grumbles. He gives them all a lazy wave as he maneuvers around Bosun and Beau with Desmond in tow. “Make sure neither of those idiots dies, and if one of them does you guys better hide the body well.” 

Desmond snorts as he walks away with Molly, “Welcome to the circus.”

Nott yells after them, “You still owe us money if the big one loses! I know where you sleep!”

Molly doesn’t turn but he does raise his hand to them to flip Nott off, his shoulders are shaking so Caleb knows that the other man is entertained. Nott also seems to understand this as well, if her toothy grin is anything to go by. Caleb wonders if he will ever understand how people work. He hopes that he will learn to, it seems like a useful skill to have if they do continue to travel with these people.

“Hey Caleb,” Nott says next to him. “I think we should stay here, with these people. I do think they could be good for us and maybe we could actually be good for them. I think we might actually fit in here.”

Caleb considers his words carefully, “I still would like some time to think things over, but I do trust you. If you think we should stay, then that matters a great deal to me.”

As he says it, Caleb realizes how true his words are. He trusts Nott. She’s possibly the first person he’s trusted in years and it’s nice to say it out loud. Despite what people might think, Nott is clever and brave. He would not have been able to survive without her, so the fact that she wants to stay is something that Caleb does not take lightly.

“I understand.” Nott says. “Whatever you decide I will go along with it though. You’re so smart Caleb, I know you’ll make the best decision.”

Caleb wishes he had her certainty. He will try not to disappoint her in the very least, not like he’s disappointed so many others.

The noise Bosun and Beau create as they continue their fight seems to be enough to finally garner the attention of Toya and Kylre, who emerge slowly out of their tent. Kylre looks unchanged, a stoic expression on his amphibian like face. Meanwhile Toya looks incredibly pale, making the bruises on her arms and legs stand out. She looks confused at first, unsure of what the fight is about, but then her eyes land on the wizard and Nott and the little dwarven girl breaks out into a smile. She waves at them slowly and Caleb awkwardly returns it.

“I’m going to check on Toya. I don’t think she slept well last night.” Nott says to Caleb, who nods in understanding.

“I will be here.” Caleb responds. He watches as Nott heads over to Toya and then sends Frumpkin along with her.

“Interesting company you keep.” Fjord notes and Caleb cannot decipher any hidden meaning behind it. The half-orc looks forthright enough.

“I could say the same about you.” Caleb says as he gestures to Beau who throws a handful of ball bearings at Bosun.

Caleb hadn’t meant it as a joke but Fjord chuckles nonetheless, “Most people usually see it the other way around.”

“I suppose most people might if they haven’t spoken to Beauregard.” 

Fjord’s chuckle turns into full blown laughter, “Very true. She is a good one though underneath it all. Helped me out when my original plans fell through.”

“Ah,” Caleb acknowledges. He doesn't push for any more information because he doesn't want the conversation to turn back to him and his own past, but Fjord continues on unprompted.

“Yeah, we meet in Rexxentrum and have been traveling together for a few months now. We do odd jobs here and there, no real direction though. This whole circus gig might be good for us.” Fjord says, so engulfed in the fight that he doesn’t notice how Caleb tenses at the mention of Rexxentrum.

“Oh, Rexxentrum? Are you from there?” Caleb of course knows that the half-orc is not just by the other man’s accent, but his brain is no longer thinking straight.

“Oh no, I’m from Fort Damali on the Menagerie Coast.” Fjord is oblivious to how Caleb is now hanging off his every word. “I was in Rexxentrum for the fancy school there, the Soltryce Academy. Have you heard of it?”

Caleb’s mouth dries instantly, “Yes, I have. I actually know some magic and have an interest in the arcane. The Soltryce Academy has quite the reputation.”

Caleb can feel his palms sweat and his heart race. He feels nauseous at the mere mention of the Academy. The wizard feels his world tilt, memories threatening to consume him once more. His hands clench into fists, nails biting into his palm.

Fjord raises an eyebrow at him, glancing at the Zemnian man from the corner of his eye, “You don’t say? Well I don’t recommend going there, just from my personal experience.”

“Oh?” Caleb’s voice comes out an octave higher than normal, but Fjord doesn't know him well enough to notice.

“Yeah,” Fjord bites his lip, “It was a weird experience. I just wanted some answers but something about that place didn’t sit right with me. They gave me a brief tour there and I had the chance to meet some of the faculty, but I just don’t know. Something about the way they ran things and some of the people there just didn’t sit right with me. There was a weird sort of energy, if that makes sense. Not to mention some of the folks weren’t all that welcoming.”

Caleb wonders if he is visibly shaking, it feels like he is but he doesn't know for certain. “I see. That is truly a shame.” 

Fjord sighs regrettably, “Yeah, it really was. I should’ve known it was too good to be true. I suppose I will just have to find the answers some other way. Actually, would you mind-” Fjord stops, finally getting a good look at Caleb. “Are you alright there, Caleb?”

“What?” Caleb hears himself say as he blinks rapidly. “Oh, me? Yes. I mean no. I mean I don’t know.”

The wizard sways slightly where he stands and Fjord looks ready to catch him should he fall. “I think I’ve exhausted all the energy I have for talking to people today. Goodbye.”

He rushes off without another word, ignoring the way Fjord calls out to him. The half-orc does not pursue him though, which Caleb appreciates. The wizard spots one of the carts and leans against it as he tries to focus on controlling his breathing. 

Eventually he manages to calm some of his nerves down, but he still feels wrong. He ends up sitting on the ground, head still leaning against the cart. Caleb had never expected to run into anyone with any relation to the Academy ever again. He took great effort in avoiding Rexxentrum because that place held nothing but painful memories. He doesn’t know what to make of Fjord, doesn’t know if any of the man’s words were lies. For all Caleb knows, the man will drag him back to the godawful place again. 

Or, Caleb supposes, the half-orc could have been truthful. The Academy is poisonous. Caleb had been too young and naive to have noticed it, but if Fjord had picked up on it during his short visit there then a man like that may be good to have around. 

All these thoughts make Caleb’s head spin once more. Now he has even more factors to consider in deciding whether to leave or to stay. He pushes them aside. There’s no use in making decisions when his emotions are threatening to destroy him.

So instead Caleb pulls out one of his books and reads. He drowns out his thoughts and feelings with the words in front him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“You’re in my light.” Caleb mutters at whoever is casting a shadow on his book.

He’s been there for hours he knows, but no one has disturbed him. He feels better now, more centered. He’s been reading through his spellbook, thinking of any ways to improve them or if any of them could somehow relate to Molly’s abilities. So far, none of them have but Caleb is persistent if anything. 

He’s also been thinking about Gustav’s proposition and Caleb thinks he’s finally come to a decision. 

“You know there are other ways to solve that problem.” Molly’s voice reaches his ears. “You could move yourself, seeing as you probably haven’t moved at all for the past few hours, or you could even do that light trick thing Nott has been talking about it.”

“Shhh,” Nott hisses, “Don’t interrupt Caleb! He’s obviously doing important work.”

Caleb still doesn't look up at them. Instead he turns a page that he actually hadn’t finished reading. “The other solution is that you could get out of my light. Also, hello Nott.”

“Hi Caleb,” Nott says in return as she sits down to Caleb's right side while Molly sits on the other side. 

“You can come across as very rude you know. You’re very lucky that I find it endearing most of the time.” Molly says, clearly enjoying himself. It’s nice to see him in higher spirits; it suits him better, Caleb thinks.

“I find that I am very rarely lucky.” Caleb says tiredly, thinking back to the Soltryce Academy. He runs his hand through his hair in frustration.

Out of the corner of his eyes he sees Molly grin roguishly at him, “Would you like to be?” 

Caleb turns to face Mollymauk and stares at him quizzically, “Wouldn’t everyone?”

Molly barks out a laugh and his smile looks a little more authentic. “Yes I suppose they would.” He pulls his knees to his chest and rests his head against them as he looks at Caleb. His cheeks seem a little darker and Caleb wonders what the tiefling had been doing to cause that. Molly’s voice comes out sounding both a little exasperated and fond all at once, “I really don’t know where I stand with you sometimes.”

“You’re sitting right now.” Nott says, louder than necessary considering she is sitting right next to them.

Molly looks over, past Caleb, and addresses Nott. His tone is flat as he speaks. “Yes, thank you for pointing that important fact out.”

“Anytime,” Nott grins and attempts to wink at Molly, but it comes out looking like she has some sort of twitch in her eye.

Molly rolls his eyes at her but Caleb can see amusement rolling off the other man. Neither Nott nor Molly look like they are about to leave anytime soon.

“Who won the fight?” Caleb asks, honestly curious.

Molly groans dramatically as Nott answers, “Little Beau! I mean the really rude one with the stick. For a while it looked like it could go either way and then Yasha showed up and all of a sudden Beau had the energy to take on a dragon. The other Bo is now just ‘the Breaker’ from now on.”

“Which I still think is unfair. Most of us have known Bo as Bo for a much longer time than we’ve known little Beau in general.” Molly points out.

“Abide by the laws of the land!” Nott yells out and then she takes a swig from her flask.

Caleb turns another page and says in a monotone voice, “Yes, because we are all such good and law abiding citizens of the empire.”

Molly snickers, eyes delighted. “Obviously, darling.”

Caleb clears his throat at the endearment, unprepared for it despite the fact that Molly has been using endearments or nicknames for everyone. “So, what is happening now?”

“A whole lot of nothing.” Nott answers as she begins to pull out her acid kit. Caleb scoots a little closer to Molly. He knows that Nott is a more than capable chemist but the last time she had worked with acid, it had resulted in creating a hole in the floor of the inn they had been staying at. Caleb’s foot may have also been close to said hole.

On Caleb's other side, he sees Molly pull out his tarot deck and begin shuffling. “Gustav’s been talking to everyone, trying to get a feel of the situation and where everyone is at right now. It’s probably going to take some more time. Gods know when his argument with Orna is ever going to end. _If_ it’s ever going to end.”

Silence falls on the group as they each focus on their own task. Caleb gets losts in his thoughts again, thinking about the future.

“Mollymauk, what would you like from me?” Caleb asks after some time.

The tarot cards fall into a mess on the ground as Molly’s hands fumble. Molly turns to Caleb, wide eyed and cheeks an even darker shade than before. “Pardon?”

The tiefling’s voice sounds strained to Caleb’s ears, but the wizard doesn’t comment on it. He struggles to find the words he wants to say, “Your new abilities, you didn’t say anything, but I get the impression that should we stay, you want me to help you?”

Molly blinks and Caleb backtracks when the man doesn’t immediately respond, “Of course, if I am overstepping my boundaries, let me know. I don’t want to force you into anything. I don’t even know how much help I could actually be.”

Molly seems to come out of whatever stupor he had been in, “You aren’t forcing me into anything I don’t want, trust me on that. I’d tell you if you were, I’m hardly shy.” He says but the way he rubs the back of his neck and doesn't meet Caleb’s gaze head on says otherwise. 

He shakes his head and puts on a showman’s smile, but he doesn't hold it for long. “I would appreciate any help you could give me honestly. I don’t even know where to start with any of this and I’m not too big on research.” Molly eyes Caleb’s book warily. 

Caleb nods, “I can do that, as I have mentioned before, I do enjoy reading. Would you also like to try to learn some basic spells?”

Molly looks at his gloved right hand, staring intently at where the blood red mark would be. “No, I get the feeling that your abilities and mine are of a vastly different nature. Although, I would probably enjoy mine more if it didn’t involve blood and scars. I have plenty of those already.”

“I’ve noticed.” Caleb says, eyes trailing down the exposed part of Mollymauk’s chest before he can stop himself.

“Oh my, Mr. Caleb.” Mollymauk says teasingly, hand to his chest in mock shock. Caleb fights off a blush he feels coming on. The wizard can still remember how he nearly touched one of Molly’s scars that very morning.

“Maybe you could do the whole ice thing without gruesomely slicing away at yourself.” Nott speaks up, catching both Caleb and Molly off guard. 

Molly recovers first, although Caleb can hear some slight embarrassment coloring his words, “I think you’re overstating things. The cut wasn’t so bad, and if that ice coating thing lasts a while then that could really help in the long run. I get the feeling that it’ll only happen if I cut myself though, but maybe I’m wrong. Who knows? I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

Nott gently swirls around the vial of acid in her hand, “I’m not one for research either. But if either of you need my help, let me know.” With that, Nott pushes herself off the ground. “I’m going to go and find Yasha and see if she can help me test this out.”

The goblin looks at them both with narrowed eyes, “Try not to endanger either of your lives. I’d like to go a day without someone bleeding out on me.”

As she skips away Molly looks at Caleb with confusion, “I think she’s starting to like me. I think.”

Caleb looks back down at his book, not really focusing on the words. “She is a very good friend to have, one of the best.” The wizard can’t hide the affection he feels for his tiny goblin friend.

“I’m beginning to see that.” Molly says and then starts to collect his cards up off of the ground. He’s straightening them out when he suddenly makes a little sound, “Huh.”

“Mollymauk?” 

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I just thought of something kinda funny is all.” Molly says and he sounds like he is enjoying himself with his little revelation. 

It piques Caleb’s interest as he doesn't actually need to reread his book any longer. “And that would be?”

“It’s just you control fire but you run cold.” Molly reveals.

It’s an interesting notion, but it’s the first time anyone has ever said that Caleb runs cold. It makes sense though, he supposes, when he thinks about how he always found Molly’s touch to be exceedingly warm. “Like how you can make ice but you’re hot.”

The cards fall from Molly’s hand once again. 

“Temperature-wise, I mean. You’re as hot as the day is hot. Temperature.” Caleb amends but he has the sensation that he is failing miserably at fixing the situation.

“Right, of course.” Molly says weakly as he scrambles to fix his cards one again.

Neither of them start another conversation for a while after that. It’s not the awkward silence that Caleb usually has with strangers, but it’s also not the comfortable silence that he often enjoys with Nott either. He’s not sure how he feels about it.

“Hey Caleb,” Molly breaks Caleb out of his daze. The tiefling sounds hesitant, “Would you mind reading to me?”

“This is a spell book.” Caleb points out, showing Molly the cover and rifling through some of the pages.

“I know.” Molly replies, still emitting a nervous energy.

Caleb looks closely at Molly, who has been looking through his deck and inspecting each of his cards. “I thought you didn’t like research.”

Molly shrugs, “I don’t but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it. It’s just that I’m just not too great at reading or focusing, but I figure if you’re the one reading out loud, that might help.”

Molly’s admission leaves Caleb with more questions. _What do you mean by ‘not too great at reading?’ Why would me reading help you focus? Why are you still here? Why am I still here? Why did you help me? Why me?_

Caleb keeps all these questions to himself, too afraid of the answers. So instead of asking any of these questions, all he says is, “Okay. But if you fall asleep I am leaving you here and Nott might just test her acid out on you.”

Molly’s smile cannot be described as anything else but beautiful, “Of course, hot stuff. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Caleb, for once, is grateful for his nearly perfect memory as he stares at Molly’s smile for a second longer. He then opens his book and reads aloud.

“Find Familiar…”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Late that night, Nott and Caleb walk into Gustav and Desmond’s tent.

“We’ll do it.” Caleb says as he holds onto Nott’s hand. “We’ll stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, things got pretty busy on my end. As always, thank you to everyone who left kudos, subscribed, bookmarked, and commented on this work! It makes me so happy.
> 
> So many things have happened in Critical Role and I am so excited and happy. Totally by coincidence, today is Matt Mercer's birthday and yesterday Laura and Travis had their baby! I'm just really still emotional over it and that might have showed in my writing. I hope you all still enjoyed!
> 
> Fun facts/ author rambling:
> 
> -There will probably be a time skip because I need to get Caleb into a place where he is more comfortable with everyone and that would take forever because he is Caleb. I am considering a spin off of writing drabbles about what happens during that time but I'm not sure? Or I could write drabbles for the actual show? Still debating. Let me know if anyone is interested?  
> -Fjord! I struggled with writing Fjord and was really worried but I think I liked how it came out. I love Jester and miss her dearly in this fic but I promise there is a reason for her absence so far.  
> -Mollymauk is a mess. he knows how to flirt with strangers and he is good at it, but now there are feelings getting involved so he is kinda falling a part. I'm really excited over it, can you tell?  
> -I am throwing so many lines of the campaign into this fic, I apologize for being so obvious  
> -If anyone has noticed my Tales of Zestiria thank you  
> \- I have changed the tag from Beauregard/yasha to Background Beauregard/Yasha so hopefully I don't clog up the other fics there? I think that's how it works?
> 
> As always, feel free to talk to me on my tumblr: someone-who-believed  
> I also have a twitter but I really only use that to submit Talks Machina questions like a dork: SomeoneBelieved


	6. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! It's been a bit, but thanks to everyone who is sticking around or just joining! I hope you guys like it!
> 
> As always, big thanks to CodeSculptor for all the help! They're incredible!

Molly is good at reading people. 

It comes with being a part of the circus. You have to know your audience, especially if your job is to draw them in or give them a card reading. It’s not easy and he does still mess up on occasion, but he enjoys it. Molly likes meeting interesting people. He likes leaving a town better than he found it. 

That’s why he helped Nott and Caleb when he had first met them.

He honestly hadn’t expected much when he had first laid his eyes on them. At the time, he hadn’t been sure that the dirty and injured man would survive the night, but it wasn’t Molly’s policy to leave perfectly good strangers to rot when he could do something about it, so he gave them both a chance. The tiefling had thought that it would have resulted in a simple affair: help a few strangers out, maybe get some coin out of it, and then send them off their merry way. Molly’s never been happier to be wrong. 

They’ve been traveling together with their new companions for a few months now and it has certainly been interesting. 

Molly likes all of them, although he would never admit that to Beau. Fjord is clever and an absolute sweetheart with an occasional wild side that Molly loves to provoke. Beau is still loud and obnoxious as ever, but she is funny at times and resourceful when it counts. Nott is a true wild card; sometimes she comes off as too reckless and naive, following Caleb around without question, and other times she seems so much older, as if she is trying to guide and support the others as a parent would. However, out of all the new members, Caleb is still somewhat of a mystery that Molly is trying to solve. Although all of the new additions had been unplanned and come under a very strenuous situation, it has turned out for the best. Now, they all fit seamlessly into the circus. 

Although, it hadn’t always been that way, especially at the beginning of their journey. Right from the start there had been some issues. Orna had been ready to accept Caleb and Nott into their circus family after what they had done for Toya and Molly, but the addition of Beau and Fjord had apparently blindsided her. It had resulted in even more friction between her and Gustav, which left everyone else on edge as well. 

Then there had been the awkward period of everyone finding their place and figuring out how to deal with each other. There had already been a lot of loud personalities in the circus to begin with it, so the initial fights and tension between the old and new members weren’t really a surprise to Molly. Out of everyone though, the one who surprised Molly the most was Caleb.

The first few days of interacting with Caleb had been quite the experience. From the moment the wizard woke up, shaking and unsettled, Molly has been fascinated by the other man. It had originally stemmed from the fact that he felt as though he could relate to Caleb. Although Molly hasn’t had a nightmare in months, he remembers a time when he had been plagued by them daily. 

During his first few weeks with circus, almost every night the tiefling would suffer from nightmares. They all started off the same way, with Molly buried deep beneath the ground. Sometimes, he would be trapped there, all alone in that dark and forgotten place. Other times, when Molly was able to climb out and reach the surface, he would be met with someone who looked exactly like him, someone claiming that Molly’s body was not his own.

At that time, he had shared a tent with Toya, who was the other newcomer back then. Neither of them really spoke much at first, but they got along well. Both of them were trying to figure out their place in the circus and in the world. They each had their own bedrolls, but every time that Molly would have a nightmare, Toya would reach out to him and crawl into Molly’s bedroll. They would cuddle as Toya sang until they both fell back to sleep. It was the kindest thing that anyone has ever done for him. Molly’s not sure how he would have dealt with the onslaught of nightmares by himself.

That experience was how he knew what to do with Caleb when the wizard had first woken up. The haunted and exhausted look in Caleb’s eyes was all too familiar to Molly. So, helping the withdrawn man was almost instinctual for Molly. The flames from the other man’s hand were not enough to deter Molly from reaching out; if anything, it further piqued Molly’s interest.

Magic was something that Molly didn’t have much experience with so, he couldn’t help but be curious about Caleb’s abilities. He had wanted to learn more about the mystical man before, Molly had assumed, they would part ways when the circus had left town. For the short time Molly had with Caleb before everything went to shit after the show, the tiefling hadn’t been disappointed. 

Caleb had been so goddamn entertaining. He would be reserved, awkward, and shy one moment and then in the next he would be funny and fiesty. The wizard also never looked at Molly or any of the other circus members the way people normally looked at them. Caleb never gawked at them, prodded them with unnecessary questions, or demanded tricks and the like as so many others had done in the past. Although the man had looked uncomfortable in the presence of so many people, Caleb also never looked at them with fear or disgust. There were even brief flashes where Molly would swear that Caleb even seemed to like being around them, maybe even liked being around Molly in particular. 

Then the whole debacle with the drunkards after the show happened. That had triggered a whole mess of emotions that Molly is still trying to sort out, months after the incident. Not only had he discovered his new abilities that night, but the tiefling had also discovered yet another new side to Caleb and some new emotions as well. It was definitely a night of revelations.

Despite his best efforts to get completely drunk and forget everything that had transpired that night, Molly can still vividly recall everything that had happened. It’s neither his proudest moment nor his worst, however he can’t help but feel embarrassed over how he acted. Molly doesn’t often experience moments of doubt or vulnerability, and it’s even more rare for him to show that side to others. So having Caleb support him, having Caleb _stay_ , meant more to Molly than he could really express. 

The circus is his family, but it’s a dysfunctional family at best. Besides Toya and Gustav, no one in the circus is particularly good at comforting each other. They all have their ways of dealing with things and supporting each other, but more often than not that involves avoiding each other’s issue entirely. So the kind words from the awkward man were not something that Molly took for granted. They had definitely thrown Molly off his game the following days afterward. 

Molly tries to hold back a cringe as he thinks about how some of the initial conversations with Caleb had been like after that day. The tiefling prides himself on how easily bullshit comes to him and how well he works with others when he tries, but something about Caleb often puts him off his game. Molly loves experiencing new things but this, whatever it is between him and Caleb, feels like a lot of new things all at once.

At first, Molly had thought that all these new feelings would mellow out as he traveled with Caleb. The tiefling would sort out whatever he was feeling and things would go back to normal. Molly had assumed that there was no way that the warm and bright feelings that he had been experiencing would persist. People couldn’t live like this. The shine _had_ to die away eventually. 

Except that it didn’t.

If anything it got worse.

Unsurprisingly, it took Caleb the longest to get comfortable traveling with such a large and rowdy group. There had been a fair amount of hiccups and missteps that had caused a lot of problems in the group at first. For a long time Caleb and Nott had seemed skittish and the most distrustful of anyone else. It almost seemed like they were always looking for a reason to leave. The pair often acted selfishly and took risky gambles that potentially could have affected the entire circus as a whole. 

It took a ridiculous amount of time and suffering through a great deal of miscommunication, but now Molly feels as though they’re all in a good place. They’ve managed to talk out most of their most pressing issues with each other. It had been a rough and frustrating period but Molly doesn’t regret it for a moment because it had also been so interesting and even a little fun. 

There was so much more to Caleb than his dirty appearance and lack of social grace. 

The man continues to baffle Molly to this day, even after all the time they’ve spent around each other. It’s still difficult for Molly to wrap his head around how Caleb can both be a painfully awkward individual but also a very talented grifter, able to persuade other with an ease that Molly is envious of. Molly loves to watch the other man work because the wizard’s methodology is so different from Molly’s own. Caleb has such an unassuming appearance and is so subtle with him manipulations that he rarely gets caught or fails in getting what he wants. It’s incredibly useful and impressive.

It’s also kind of a turn on, in Molly opinion, and has helped him discover his competency kink. 

Then there’s also Caleb's stubbornness and ferocity. The man’s anger is something to behold. Molly hadn’t expected that kind of rage to be lurking within Caleb, who almost always shies away from the spotlight and has an abundance of self esteem issues. The closest thing the tiefling can liken it to would be righteous fury. In the rare instances that Caleb shows this side of himself, Molly has seen how much anguish and hatred the other man keeps locked away. 

There’s something dark that Caleb hasn’t let go of and it’s holding him back from so much. It’s something that feeds his self loathing and fury. Molly wants to help the man but he isn’t sure how to or if Caleb would even accept any help in the first place. Nott had said that Caleb has already made leaps and strides as a person since she met him though, which is both reassuring and worrisome.

There’s so much strength that Caleb possesses but it’s easy to miss, especially with how valiantly Caleb tries to hide it or dismisses himself. But because Molly has already seen it, he can’t help but notice when Caleb uses that strength. In all honestly, Molly can’t help but notice Caleb in general. It’s in the brief moments when Caleb is forced to take charge or when he’s done a particular spell that is perfect in a fight or in one of their acts that proves that Caleb is undeniably a force to be reckoned with. The man always powers through, even when he’s terrified. Molly knows that Caleb does not always act out of the goodness of his heart; the tiefling isn’t naive. He knows that what really compels Caleb is an instinct to survive and possibly some goal that the Zemnian man has yet to speak of, but Molly admires that sort of drive all the same. 

Molly is so intrigued by all of these qualities that Caleb has, and even likes all of them to a certain degree, but they aren’t what keeps drawing Molly in. What Molly can never get enough of are those precious and scarce moments when Caleb actually enjoys himself. It’s the brief tugs of the wizard’s lips, the humorous quips, and the vibrant look in those gorgeous blue eyes that captivate Molly. Molly’s utterly weak for when Caleb looks at Nott or Toya with pride in his eyes or when the man gets lost in a new book. The tiefling adores how alive and cute Caleb looks when he tries out a new spell. 

It’s amazing to see Caleb in his element, comfortable and confident in himself. Molly also appreciates how Caleb uses that magic to help others. The circus has been drawing bigger crowds ever since they’ve introduced their new additions. Although Caleb does not have a starring role in any of the acts, he has now become a vital part in so many of them. Molly finds it funny that such a reclusive and awkward man could have so many spells that are either attention grabbing or are supportive in nature.

Molly sincerely respects how hard Caleb is trying. The Zemnian man is making an effort to work with others despite his reservations and unease. It’s clear that Caleb is fond of Toya, which comes as no surprise. Molly has yet to meet a person that has not been charmed by the sweet dwarven girl. Yasha and Caleb have formed some sort of bond over their incapability to have normal interactions with others. Molly finds it adorable and hilarious, especially since he has to share a tent with them. More than once has the tiefling woken up to Yasha giving Caleb a shave. Caleb’s even gotten along with both Fjord and Beau with surprising ease. The rest of the circus crew have accepted Caleb and the others in their own ways.

Watching Caleb find his place among the circus does something funny to Molly’s heart. The feeling gets worse when it’s just Caleb and himself together, which has been happening more often as of late. 

Together, they have been trying to better understand Molly’s new abilities. It hasn’t been easy but it’s also become surprisingly enjoyable at times. Molly can’t deny that he likes being the center of attention, especially when that attention comes from a certain red headed wizard. 

Molly’s become more comfortable activating his swords and has gotten used to the sight of his own blood over the past few months. Despite this, the three red markings on his body still leave Molly feeling uneasy when he stares at them for too long. The tiefling has a plan for a way to deal with this particular problem, but he hasn’t found the right time or place to carry it out. In the meantime, he tries to hide his discomfort but it’s a difficult thing to do under Caleb’s scrutiny. 

The Zemnian man seems to have thrown himself fully into the task. Molly would feel more flattered by the dedication if he didn’t occasionally feel like some sort of test subject at the same time. If there is at least one thing that Molly has learned about Caleb, it’s that he is very serious about magic. It’s nice though, having someone so knowledgeable with magic and the abnormal help Molly figure everything out. 

The tiefling isn’t sure how he would’ve managed it by himself. Caleb, with his eidetic memory and love of reading, has been a crucial part in Molly’s journey to self discovery. Molly’s lost track of the hours they have spent together trying to determine what Molly’s new talents and abilities are and how to activate them properly. The more things they discover, the more Molly feels comfortable in his own skin again. He no longer feels like he’s using someone else’s powers, instead they feel like Molly’s own. The tiefling may have more scars to show for it, but at least he knows the story behind these wounds.

That thought reminds Molly of the other dilemma he has been facing besides his complicated feelings for Caleb. There’s also the fact that none of the new members from Legram know of Molly’s past, or rather lack thereof. In Molly opinion, knowing another person’s past is unnecessary to have any type of relationship with someone, but he knows that not everyone shares his point of view. All of the original circus members understand this mindset and like to keep to themselves, but Molly wonders if the newcomers will feel the same. It’s worked out fine so far, but he wonders how long this peace will last. 

Molly doesn’t want to lose what everyone has built together so far, but he can’t help but want to hide behind his typical bullshit whenever anyone asks about his past. Caleb has yet to really ask Molly any probing questions, but Molly gets the feeling that the ginger is actually trying to protect his own past. It’s difficult to get through the walls Caleb’s built around himself, so Molly’s grateful for the moments when Caleb allows him in.

It’s the little things that Caleb does that lets Molly know he is attempting to bring down some of his barriers. Molly enjoys the times when Caleb tries to discuss whatever he just read or heard about. The wizard has even started to occasionally read passages out loud around Molly. The teilfing isn’t sure if it’s a habbit of Caleb's or if the Zemnian man has picked up on Molly’s functional illiteracy, but either way Molly appreciates the gesture. Molly rarely ever understands whatever Caleb gets engrossed in but he likes listening to the man nonetheless. It usually ends up with Caleb reading and occasionally mumbling things out loud, while Molly goes about his own business, listening and interjecting when he feels like it. 

The training they’ve been doing together has also helped them get to know each other more. Early on, Molly had offered to train with Caleb as a sort of exchange for the Zemnian’s help. Caleb had refused at first, but after a few close brushes with death Caleb took the tiefling up on his offer. It’s been good. Caleb has been improving in combat and seems healthier. The regular meals and practices with Molly have definitely paid off. Molly is glad to see that the man no longer looks as sickly pale and gaunt as when they had first met. Now Caleb looks refreshed and Molly has the sneaking suspicion that there’re even hints of muscle hiding beneath Caleb’s layers of dirty clothing. 

They have their own rhythm. It’s nice.

More than nice if, Molly’s being more honest.

Molly doesn’t know what’s in store for him and Caleb. The tiefling has felt attraction and has sex in the past, but this thing with Caleb feels different. Molly’s lived his life always going after what he wants, thoroughly embracing the Moonweaver’s philosophy, but this is one of the few instances in which he’s holding himself back. He doesn't wants to push Caleb passed what the man is comfortable with but at the same time Molly wants more for both of them.

It’s a subject that Molly has tried to broach with Caleb before but the Zemnian man always clams up or changes the subject. For now, Molly won’t push any further. He’s happy enough with what they have between them. Molly likes the flirting, likes the training, and likes the discussions. He simply just likes Caleb and he thinks Caleb may feel something for him as well. 

So Molly will wait and take his time figuring everything out for once. He’s all for trying something new after all.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Hey there stranger.” Molly greets Caleb as he enters the tent. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Caleb, who had been hunched in on himself reading another one of his many books, spares a glance at Molly. Molly bites his lip to keep himself from giggling at Caleb’s unimpressed look. “Yes of all places, how strange it is for us to meet in our shared tent. Phenomenal.”

Molly finds that biting his lip had been useless as a snort still escapes him. He loves how he and Caleb have reached a point where their conversations can flow more naturally. The sense of humor Caleb possesses never fails to make Molly laugh. “The world’s a crazy place like that, isn’t it, hot stuff?”

Molly saunters over towards Caleb and plops down next to the man. The tiefling arranges himself so that he’s laying on his stomach, eyelevel with Caleb’s book. Molly barely resists the urge to lay his head on Caleb’s lap. From his position he can see how Caleb is trying his best to appear unaffected by Molly’s proximity. He’s a little jealous of how easily Frumpkin is able to garner Caleb’s affection. Molly would gladly enjoy being cuddled and being told he has a lovely coat. 

“What are you reading? It must be good if it’s kept you inside most of the day.” Molly is genuinely curious. Caleb looks as though he hasn’t moved from his bedroll at all and now it’s pretty late in the day.

“I would spend most of my days inside if certain individuals could be trusted to fend for themselves.” Caleb responds dryly. The wizard angles the book cover so that Molly can see it in its entirety. Molly can’t be bothered to even try to read the title but he does appreciate the sky blue color of the book. Caleb must sense this as he reads the title aloud, “The History and Guide to the Menagerie Coast.”

Molly uses his knuckles to gently knock again the cover. “Sounds riveting.”

“It’s truly fascinating.” Caleb nods, his attention shifting entirely back to the book. “It’s has a detailed account of the area’s history and culture. The trade routes found there are extensive and that explains why so many individuals try to make their fortune there. One of the most profitable businesses there though, besides the food industry, is surprisingly- wait.” Caleb stops his ramblings and turns back to Molly, who can’t find it in himself to hide his fond gaze. “You were being sarcastic, weren’t you?”

Molly shoots him a sly grin. “You’re getting better at noticing.”

Caleb sends him a withering glare, but underneath it Molly can tell that the man is the tiniest bit proud of himself. The wizard still looks as though he is contemplating throwing Molly out of the tent though. Ultimately, Caleb just sighs and shuts the book. “We are heading there so I thought it best to read up on it.”

“You could’ve just asked Fjord, he is from there.” Molly points out. Fjord hasn’t exactly been forthcoming with his past either, but Molly is certain that the half orc would let them know what parts of the coast to avoid.

Caleb rubs the back of his neck. “Fjord has enough to deal with and besides I enjoy-”

“You enjoy reading, yes, yes. I know you adorable nerd.” Molly laughs quietly to himself at Caleb’s embarrassed reaction. The flush on the wizard's cheeks really is an adorable sight. Molly gives into temptation for a moment and briefly nudges his head against Caleb’s leg as he says, “Thank you for doing some recon for us, but you need to learn to live in the moment Caleb. Let whatever happens happen.”

Caleb sighs deeply again but when he speaks there is a trace of humor in his voice, “Yes because going in without a plan or any knowledge of a place has gone so well for all of us before. As I recall, the last time we took on a job without a plan we ended up being chased by several crownsguard for half an hour and I had glitter in my hair for a solid two weeks.”

“That glitter thing had more to do with the fact that you rarely take baths. I only had glitter in my hair for five days.” Molly says proudly. He opens his mouth to say more but then he feels Caleb’s hand run through his hair roughly. Molly barely suppresses a moan in time.

Caleb takes his hand away, much to Molly’s displeasure, and shows it to the tiefling. It’s covered in glitter. “Five days, you said?”

Molly takes a moment to recover from the shock of Caleb touching him so casually. The Zemnian man has a tendency to be unabashed at the strangest times. The tiefling clears his throat before speaking, “That’s new glitter. Nott and I were trying to come up with a new act and we both have a weakness for shiny things. Also, don’t you dare think I didn’t notice how you couldn’t deny the whole ‘rarely takes baths’ bit.”

The only response Molly gets is an eye roll before Caleb opens up his book again. 

“Hey,” Molly tries to get the wizard’s attention. “Read it to me?”

Caleb doesn’t look at him but does quirk a brow. “I thought you wanted to let ‘whatever happens happen,’ Mollymauk? ”

Molly tries to shrug but finds that uncomfortable to do as he’s still lying down. He rolls over onto his back and sprawls out. “I do and I have a really good feeling about this place, but I really like the noises you make.” It takes a second for Molly to process his own words, but when he does he immediately sits up. “I mean I like noise in general! I hate silences, always have. You can just read out loud or say whatever pops into your head while I do whatever.”

As per usual, Caleb doesn't seem to register the unintentional meaning of Molly’s words. Molly isn’t sure if he’s grateful or not for that. “I think I am looking forward to going there as well.”

Molly lets out a dramatic gasp and puts a hand again his heart. “You mean that you, Caleb Widogast, are capable of being excited over something other than books and spells? Who would’ve thought?”

Caleb rubs his temples with his free hand, but there’s a slight upwards tilt to the corner of his lips. “Is it too late to get rid of you?”

Molly smiles, his heart beating fast and his insides feeling ridiculously warm. “Far too late I’m afraid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while guys. Life has been busy and I was also really emotional over the past few episodes of CR. Anyway, I still love Widomauk/Widoleaf and I'm still excited to finish up this story. This is my first multi-chap fic in years so I really appreciate everyone's support. All the comments are so kind and really motivate me so much. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone that has commented, subscribed, bookmarked, and left kudos for this fic! 
> 
> As always, you can find me on tumblr at: someone-who-believed  
> I would love to talk to you guys!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's been a while! Sorry about that. Life just got busy and everything, but I promise I will finish this. I love Critical Role and this fic too much not to see this through. It might just take a while between chapters, but I hope you guys stay tuned.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has stuck around and to anyone who just started reading. I really appreciate you all and the support is amazing!

After months of traveling with The Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities, Caleb has gotten used to witnessing unusual sights. He’s seen a woman suddenly grow black wings in the heat of battle. He’s seen a half-orc cough up seawater out of nowhere. He’s seen a tiefling bleed from strange markings and preform mystical feats. He’s seen all of this, yet the sight before him still manages to baffle him.

He debates pretending that he hasn’t seen anything at all and leaving the area immediately. Traveling with the circus has also reinforced the idea that he should mind his own business. Life is a lot simpler that way.

Before Caleb can decide on what to do, he makes the mistake of looking back and accidentally locks eyes with Yasha. She is one of the few people Caleb can easily get along with in the circus. It’s refreshing to find someone almost as awkward as himself in a place full of boisterous people. He can’t find it in himself to leave her to deal with whatever mess the others have involved themselves with yet again. 

As he makes his way towards them, Caleb finally voices the question that has been plaguing his mind since he saw them. “Mollymauk, correct me if I am wrong, but are there two of you?” Caleb asks, eyes shifting back and forth between the two identical tieflings before him.

Two Mollymauks grin back widely at him, while Fjord and Yasha both look exhausted by the entire situation. Caleb’s already beginning to regret not running back into his shared tent the moment he noticed something was amiss.

“Now Caleb, darling, you know I’m one of a kind!” The Mollymauk immediately next to Yasha exclaims. “The world simply couldn’t handle it if there were more.”

The other Mollymauk, standing next to Fjord, simply nods along.

Caleb resists the urge to sigh and just stares, unimpressed, at the tiefling who spoke. In a flat voice Caleb says, “I don’t think _I_ could could handle it if there were more than one of you.”

“Is that a challenge?” Another voice chimes in. It’s the other Mollymauk, who has a distinctly higher pitch and wholly different accent than the real Mollymauk. It’s a jarring experience, seeing someone who looks exactly like Mollymauk but sounds nothing like the man. Caleb doesn’t have a chance to really take it in before the imposter continues talking, clearly excited by the topic at hand. “Have you thought of having two Mollys around before? Oh! Have you thought of having a threesome with two Mollys before? Was it a sex dream or is it actually a fantasy of yours? Can you describe it?”

Caleb can feel his face flush beat red. He’s thankful that it’s only Yasha and Fjord that are around to witness this conversation. Both of them look just as flustered as Caleb feels. He dreads what would have happened if someone else, like Beau, had been around to hear it. The teasing would have been relentless. 

Willing his blush to go down, Caleb opens his mouth to respond but realizes too late that he’s not sure what to say. He’s left there, face still red enough to match his hair and mouth uselessly opening and closing.

Mollymauk, the real one, leans in close to him. The tiefling looks far too entertained by this ordeal in Caleb’s opinion. The other man’s eyes are sparkling with more mischief than usual and his mouth is set in a confident smirk. Caleb can’t meet those eyes for too long, especially with how little distance there is between them now. However, before he completely averts his gaze, Caleb does notice the barest hint of a blush dusting Molly’s cheeks.

“Well, Mr. Caleb? Anything to say about that?” Molly teases, clearly hoping to get another reaction from Caleb. 

Briefly, Caleb imagines summoning Frumpkin on top of Molly’s head, but refrains. Neither Frumpkin nor Molly would be too happy with him if he followed through with that thought. Clearing his throat, he turns his gaze onto the stranger once again. “Who are you exactly and could you drop the disguise? It’s distracting.”

“In a good way or bad way? Or both?” The stranger asks coyly with a wink. In the next instance the illusion breaks and there is an entirely different tiefling standing before them all. Caleb isn’t sure what he had been expecting, but a sweet blue tiefling in a frilly dress isn’t what he had been prepared for. “I’m Jester! It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Caleb, dirty wizard who fantasizes about Molly!”

Fjord saves them all from Caleb’s sputtering by cutting in. “And it’s a pleasure to meet the real you, Jester.”

Jester laughs, delighted and charmed. It’s a sweet sound and for a moment the mysterious tiefling reminds Caleb of Toya, pure and innocent. “I don’t know, you didn’t seem too happy when you ran into me earlier.”

Fjord snorts and then looks embarrassed by the sound he just made. He awkwardly scratches the back of his head and shrugs. “Earlier you looked like Molly and were painting dicks on the side of our wagon. It didn’t exactly leave the best impression.”

Jester bites her lip as she smiles and begins rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. Caleb can’t help but notice something about her is different as she talks to Fjord. It’s like she’s forgotten that there’s anyone else besides her and Fjord. “But me looking like me leaves a better impression?”

As Fjord coughs loudly into his hand Caleb ponders how the half-orc could still be startled when others flirt with him. Throughout their journey a number of people had come up to the man, eager to have a moment alone with the former sailor. It doesn’t surprise Caleb that Jester might be drawn to the man as well. He’s just grateful that she’s no longer wearing Molly’s face as she starts to push further into Fjord’s personal space. Molly has a tendency to flirt with practically everyone, but never anything seriously from what Caleb can tell. Caleb tries not to think too deeply on his feelings on that matter. 

“I like to know who I’m dealing with.” Fjord says diplomatically when his coughing fit is over. 

“To be fair, you did startle him when you first met. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone scream like that before.” Yasha mentions, the corners of her mouth are turned slightly upwards in the barest hint of a smile.

“That was not a scream, that was more of a noise of surprise if you will.” Fjord protests. “Anyone would have been shocked if they thought they were confronting their friend on drawing dicks on the shared cart, when their real friend suddenly pops up and scares the living daylights out of them from said cart.”

“So you do admit that you were scared!” Molly shouts triumphantly.

“I’m so glad you are counted as part of the ‘muscle’ in our group. Bravely stopping dick artists wherever we may travel.” Caleb says, completely monotone. He somehow manages to elicit laughter from both Molly and Jester. Even Yasha’s smile seems to grow a bit from his comment. Fjord, on the other hand, looks completely exhausted by this turn of events. 

“If we could get back to how Jester got here and why she was disguised as Molly in the first place, I’d greatly appreciate it.” Fjord says, rubbing his eyes in frustration. Jester pats his arm sympathetically. Caleb wonders if he imagines the way her hand lingers on Fjord’s arm longer than necessary or if he’s been deprived of physical contact for so long that any casual touches seem to last as long as an eternity for him. 

It’s not often that he watches how other people act around each other in a romantic sense, but lately he can admit that he’s been more curious about it. Things like romance and attraction had been pushed aside for such a long portion of his life that he’s not sure how to recognize when it’s actually happening or not. Caleb isn’t sure what is happening between himself and Mollymauk. He’s not even sure if anything is really happening between them at all. All that he really knows is that he’s different around Mollymauk. 

In some ways, it’s similar to how he feels when he’s with Nott and Frumpkin. There’s the same feeling of warmth and lightness that Caleb associates with his goblin friend and familiar, but there’s something else too. Something about Molly not only makes Caleb feel safe, but also adventurous. He makes Caleb want things again. It’s both an addictive and terrifying feeling. Caleb hasn’t wanted anything for himself in years so he’s at a loss of what to do. 

“Well, while we were out trying to draw in a crowd for tomorrow’s show, we met Jester. If you haven’t already noticed, she’s hard to ignore.” Molly’s voice breaks through Caleb’s momentary musings. The tiefling practically beams at Jester as he speaks. “We got along instantly.”

Jester nods along enthusiastically. “Yeah, yeah! And after I heard Beau, Nott, and Molly all talk about how cool, and great, and totally awesome the circus was I just _had_ to see it for myself!”

Caleb looks around at the mention of their other friends but doesn’t see any of them anywhere in sight. In his experience, that never bodes well. Nott has the unfortunate habit of getting into trouble and Beau is Beau. “That still doesn’t explain why you had to look like Mollymauk. And where are Beau and Nott?”

“Oh well I thought it would be funny and I wanted to see if anyone could tell the difference. It didn’t really work out though. Beau and Nott are probably still at my place with my mama. They seemed to really like her and her stories.” Jester answers, seemingly unconcerned that she’s left two strangers alone with her mother. 

“Your mother is divine. I think I want to be her.” Molly says wistfully, making Caleb wonder who exactly Jester’s mother is and what she does for a living.

Juster puffs out her chest proudly, “Everybody does! Or they want to fuck her. Or both!”

“Excuse me?” Caleb asks, unsure if he heard her correctly. He’s beginning to understand why she got along so easily with Molly, Beau, and Nott. Jester seems to be as free spirited and strange as most of the other members of the circus. Caleb doesn’t know if that is a good or bad thing, but he’s already starting to feel the beginnings of a headache forming. He hopes that he only has to worry about harmless pranks from her. It’s all he asks.

“She’s the Ruby if the Sea!” Jester exclaims as if that is supposed to mean something to them. The only one who seems to understands the title is Fjord though, who looks to be attempting not to gawk at Jester. She continues on, noticing the confused glances from the rest of the party. “She’s famous for her beautiful voice and her other nightly activities, if you know what I mean.”

“No, I do not.” Yasha says, honest as always. Caleb’s glad that he’s not the only one lost in the conversation. 

“Sex! She’s good at sex! People pay her lots of money for it.” Jester says without a hint of shame. 

Caleb is momentarily stunned but eventually recovers. “I see,” he says weakly. He chances a glance at Molly but swiftly looks away once he realizes that the tiefling had been staring at him. Caleb may not have met the Ruby of Sea, but it’s easy from him to picture Molly in her place, surrounded by various suitors and wealth. From the first moment that they met, Caleb has always thought of Molly as eye-catching. It still surprises him to this day that the tiefling doesn’t have his own special performance in the show. Molly draws people in and captivates them. 

Caleb should know after all, it’s what Molly did to him.

He can feel Molly’s eyes still on him and it puts him further on edge, but not in the way a stranger’s gaze would. Caleb’s not sure what to do about it, so he falls back on tried and true methods. He summons Frumpkin to rub up against Molly’s boots.

“Hey there little guy, what are you up to?” Molly softly coos at the familiar. Frumpkin easily goes into Molly’s arms even without Caleb’s command. It had been surprising at first to realize that Frumpkin had become somewhat attached to Molly. Besides Caleb and Nott, Frumpkin rarely interacted with others without Caleb's prodding and Caleb hadn’t expected that to change even as the began traveling with the circus. For the most part that remained true except for Molly’s case. For some reason or another, Frumpkin readily approached Molly whenever the familiar felt like it. 

Whether it’s because Caleb himself enjoys Molly’s company or if it’s because Frumpkin is grateful that Molly had helped them in their time of need all those months ago, Caleb isn’t sure. Maybe there’s an entirely other factor at play that he isn’t even aware of. Regardless, Caleb cannot help but feel the slightest bit of happiness whenever he watches Molly and his familiar together. 

Caleb can’t help but smile softly at the sight of Molly cradling Frumpkin in his arms. “Maybe he was waiting for you to drop your guard so he could strike at your precious coat again. It was your fault that he poofed out of existence last week.”

Molly huffs at Caleb but the tiefling is still smiling so Caleb knows that he hasn’t crossed a line. “First off, stop giving him ideas. I swear he’s starting to think I’m a giant cat toy or something. I have more cat scratches than I do battle scars and that’s saying something, sweetheart.”

Caleb knows for a fact that Frumpkin has never scratched Molly and he sends the other man a look that conveys that he can see through all the bullshit. Caleb hopes he isn’t smiling. That’s also become a problem recently whenever he’s around Molly. Nott had been the one to point it out and Caleb's been embarrassed about it ever since. 

“Yes, I look into his eyes and all I see is a terrible monster.” Caleb says, voice dripping with sarcasm. Frumpkin mews in response, snuggling further into Molly’s arms as he does so. 

“Second off,” Molly starts, louder than before and choosing to ignore any more of Caleb’s comments. “It wasn’t just my fault that Frumpkin got hit. You’re leaving out the fact that we were all curious about what was happening in that back room and we were banking on the fact that no one kicks cats! Like who does that except for that one unpredictable dick. How could we have known, Caleb?”

Caleb knows that he’s definitely smiling now but he can’t bring himself to stop. “Yes of course, you’re obviously the victim here. Not my cat that got sent off to another dimension or me, the person who had to acquire 10 gold pieces worth of incense to summon him back.”

Molly groans and before Caleb realizes what is happening suddenly there’s Molly’s forehead resting on his shoulder. “You wound me, Widogast.”

“No, I believe you literally do that yourself.” Caleb says as he forces himself to relax as Molly touches him. 

Molly lets out a bark of laughter, clearly taken by surprise. He’s still resting his head on Caleb’s shoulder so Caleb can feel how much Molly shakes as he laughs. It’s such a distinct sound and so sincere. Whenever Molly laughs it’s always filled with such joy and delight that is rare to find in anyone else. 

After his bout of laughter Molly straightens up, no longer resting on Caleb’s shoulder but he’s still close. If it were anyone else Caleb thinks he would automatically be taking a step back, but he finds that's not what he wants. If anything he wants to be closer to Molly.

“Hey, you’re the one that has to eat a licorice root for the speed spell thing you do, so which one of us is really hurting themselves the most.”

Caleb has a retort on the tip of his tounge. He wants to say something along the lines of _‘The one who wears the ugly coat.’_ because it’s honestly a dig at them both and would definitely make Molly laugh again, but he stops himself. He can’t keep getting so caught up in Mollymauk. Not while Caleb’s still so uncertain if his feelings are honestly being reciprocated or not. Not while he’s still unprepared to have a relationship. Not while he’s still so scared and lost.

There’re so many things that could go wrong. His previous relationship left a lot to be desired. Caleb’s not sure if he could go through all of that again, especially when he feels like he won’t be capable of pulling himself back together if he does lose Mollymauk in some way.

Caleb’s saved from speaking when Jester interrupts them, loudly. “Hey do they always flirt like that? I thought Beau was exaggerating when she was talking about it.”

“They do,” Yasha says solemnly but when Caleb looks her in the eyes, he can see the humor in them. Meanwhile Fjord is trying to disguise his laughing fit as another round of coughs. 

“That’s so cute!” Jester says, clapping her hands together. “A little gross, but very cute! But we don’t have time for the both of your mushy feelings right now! We gotta go!”

“We do?” Fjord asks.

“Well obviously! You’re all at the Menagerie Coast! We have to go see the beach and I’m the perfect tour guide!” Jester practically shouts.

“Why do I feel like this isn’t going to be a choice.” Caleb whispers to himself.

He jumps when Molly leans in close again and whispers back, barely capable of hiding his excitement. “Because it’s not. Hope you’re ready for the ocean, hot stuff.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“How did Jester manage to convince Nott to come to the beach?” Caleb asks Molly, confused as to how any of this happened in the first place.

Somehow, Jester managed to convince Gustav to let everyone have the rest of the day off to enjoy the beach, if they so desired. It wasn’t a difficult task. Jester seemed to be a natural born charmer and there wasn’t a show scheduled for tonight as they were finishing set up. Some of the other members however were harder to persuade, so in the end a little more than half of the group ended up at the beach, where they met up with Beau and Nott.

Molly waves his hand around, “I think a bet was involved, something about theft probably. It doesn’t hurt that Jester is simply adorable and that she and Nott are practically on the same wavelength. You weren’t there, but earlier _I_ felt like the responsible one in the group, so you know those two are a fun combination.”

“I feel like it’s very telling that you use the word fun as a synonym for the word dangerous.”

Molly grins, showing off his teeth. “Aren’t they tho?”

Caleb telepathically tells Frumpkin to head-butt Mollymauk’s calf, effectively distracting the other man as Caleb takes everything in. 

The ocean really is beautiful. Caleb had never really understood the appeal when he read about it in books, but seeing it in person is a whole different experience. It’s so large and overwhelming, but also serene and inviting. It’s interesting to watch how it affects all of his friends. Fjord, still a sailor at heart, had stripped down to his undergarments and dived in immediately. Toya had been overjoyed by the sight and followed closely behind Fjord. She’s in the shallow end while Kylre watches close by, not actually touching the water. Jester plays with Toya in Kylre’s stead, the two of them splashing water at each other. Nott had firmly decided to avoid the water entirely and had taken it upon herself to guard everyone’s belongings, fighting off the birds and the crabs that dared to go near her. Yasha was standing knee deep in the water, looking out into the horizon. And Beau-

“Is Beau meditating?” Molly asks incredulously.

“It appears so.”

Molly snorts in disbelief, “Bet she doesn’t even last ten minutes.”

Caleb smirks at that, “I’m surprised you’re implying that she can even last five.”

This earns another laugh from Mollymauk, “Well isn’t someone feeling feisty today?”

“Something like that.” Caleb isn’t sure feisty is the right word, but he does feel good now. There’s still that heaviness he always feels in the back of his mind, but looking out into the ocean has made him feel better about it. Almost as if his burden is negligible in the grand scheme of things. For just a short time he can push away all the horrible things he’s done and all the feelings that are threatening to consume him and just enjoy himself. He isn’t free from his past, not really, but maybe he can just be okay for a bit.

He’s still not looking at Mollymauk, instead just staring out into the ocean in a similar manner to Yasha. “Why aren’t you out there yet? I would have thought for sure you’d be one of the first one to jump in.” The _‘and make a spectacle of yourself and all of us’_ goes unsaid.

“Just enjoying the view first.” Molly says, but Caleb can feel the tiefling’s gaze on him rather than on the shore. Caleb contemplates calling out the other man’s lie, but Molly speaks up again before he can. “Well that and I have something for you.”

This catches Caleb’s attention and makes him turn towards the other man. “Something for me? Why?”

“Don’t freak out on me. I also got Yasha a present too but I gave it to her earlier while you were trying to argue your way out of coming here. She got all tense and uncomfortable when I gave it to her too. The both of you are so adorably awkward.” Molly says with a teasing lit to his voice. “And I like spoiling my friends, so why not?”

Caleb can think of a lot of reasons why not but he holds his tongue.

Caleb watches as Molly opens up his bag and pulls out a red book. He then proceeds to shove it into Caleb’s arms. It’s decently sized, but not as large as any of Caleb's spell books and Caleb doesn’t recall mentioning any of the books he’s had his eye on to Mollymauk. Strangely, the cover has the crest of the crownsguard and the title is-

“Guard of my Heart?”

Caleb blinks and the title remains the same. He suddenly has a feeling that he knows exactly what kind of book this is and why Molly gave it to him. He’s sorely tempted to laugh or hit Mollmauky with the book.

“Mollymauk,” Caleb says, eyes shut.

“Caleb,” Molly replies, trying to sound innocent.

“Is this smut?” 

“Yup,” Molly over pronounces the ‘p’ just to get on Caleb’s nerves, Caleb knows it. Even with his eyes shut Caleb can still feel the satisfaction and amusement rolling off of Mollymauk in waves. “It represents our relationship pretty well.”

Caleb’s has no idea what Molly means and has no idea how to continue this conversation, so he retreats. “I am going to go now.”

Caleb gets up from where they’ve been sitting in the sand and makes towards the water until he feels a hand tug on his coat. He sighs and stops moving but doesn’t look back. 

“Caleb, darling, wait.” Molly says between fits of laughter. “For someone who nearly got arrested for trying to break into a smut shop, you certainly are against receiving porn as a present.”

Caleb makes to leave again but Molly still has a firm grip on his coat. “Wait, wait, wait. Alright I’ll stop with the smut jokes, just sit down and I’ll explain if I really have to.”

For a moment, Caleb hesitates but Frumpkin nudges against him. Caleb, for all his talent as a grifter in manipulating people, is apparently desperately weak against animals and apparently purple tarot reading tieflings. He resigns himself to whatever ludicrous tale Molly has in store for him as he sits back down in the soft sand. He also flicks Frumpkin on the head to make himself feel better. Mollymauk, Caleb notices, does not look remorseful in the least, not that Caleb really expected him to. The book lies between them in the sand.

“I know you might not believe me,” Molly starts off, “but I really do mean it as a sort of thank you gift.”

If that had been Molly’s attempt at making Caleb feel more at ease, he has failed miserably. If anything, Caleb now feels more uncomfortable about the entire situation, especially since he doesn't feel as though he’s done anything worthy of thanks. He begins drawing random shapes in the sand, just to distract himself.

Mollymauk seems unperturbed by the silence and continues on. “I saw the crownsguard crest and I knew it was perfect. I mean who else is going to save me by disguising themselves as a crownsguard? Wait no, Fjord might. Fuck, I was aiming for heartfelt with this whole speech thing. Ah well. Okay well at least you’re the first. My very own knight in tattered clothing.”

Caleb smiles but he’s still facing away from Mollymauk. “Heartfelt smut? Is that what you gave to Yasha as well?”

“Not this time! No, this time our dearest Yasha got a lovely book on manners. I’ll be sure to ask her to share it with you.” He replies good-naturedly.

“Very thoughtful gifts.” Caleb says dryly and finally looks in the other man’s direction again.

“I know.” Molly practically glows in return, but then something shifts. The smile drops off from his face and he turns more serious. “I really do mean it though. Seeing the crest made me think of that night and how grateful I am to you for a lot of reasons, Caleb. You saved me and Toya that night, you’ve been helping out in practically all of the circus acts, you’ve helped me deal with this weird blood shit, and you’ve even been helping me learn to really read.”

“So this,” Molly uses his knuckles to tap against the book between them. He’s still smiling but it’s different from before. “is my weird way of saying thanks for everything, Caleb. I mean that.”

Mollymauk pauses, looking thoughtful. He’s slowly shifting back to his usual playful self. “It’s also my weird way of saying you should relax every once and a while, hot stuff. You deserve it.”

Caleb isn’t sure he agrees with that last sentiment but he’s feeling too warm and maybe even a bit giddy to argue about it. He picks up the book, thumb rubbing against the artwork of the crownsguard crest. He wonders where he would be if he and Nott hadn’t gotten involved during that time. Would he still be on the beach with his friends or would he be somewhere else, far away and still as aimless as ever?

“I will read it.” It’s the best response he can come up with, as the thanks he honestly wants to say is caught in his throat. Molly smiles in return, soft and knowing, like he understands what Caleb can’t say out loud. It’s confusing, how much Caleb hates to be noticed yet seems to want to soak up all of Molly’s attention sometimes.

As Caleb moves to put his new book away into his own bag, understanding suddenly hits him. He’s surprised that he couldn’t figure it out before, but something in their conversation together made everything click into place. He turns to Molly again and tries to make his voice as neutral as possible, “Mollymauk?”

“Caleb?” Molly’s tail swishes back and forth behind him. 

“Are you- can you not-” Caleb struggles to find the correct words. “Do you know how to swim?”

Caleb knows how much Molly loves trying new things and having fun. The beach is the perfect opportunity to let loose and bask in the ocean, a rare opportunity for a traveling circus, yet Molly hasn’t made any moves to go near it. It’s not a big jump, Caleb concludes. There are many things Mollymauk hasn’t really known about, from not knowing how to read to not knowing the existence of candy shops. It really shouldn’t come as a surprise to Caleb, especially since Nott also has no knowledge of swimming, yet some part of Caleb is blown away by this possible revelation.

Caleb watches as Molly’s tail abruptly stops moving and his smile turns a little more tentative. “Caught me.”

Caleb continues to stare at the tiefling, who begins to squirm under the unflinching gaze. A moment of silence passes between them as their roles seems to be reversed, Caleb with his eyes obviously locked on Mollymauk, while Molly fidgets under the scrutiny. Abruptly, Caleb gets up, his mind made up.

“Okay,” He nods, more for himself than for Mollymauk. “Let’s go.”

“Go? Go where? I just told you I don’t know how to really swim.” Molly’s confusion his evident in his voice. The look he’s giving Caleb is filled with disbelief and uncertainty.

“I know. I’ll teach you.”

“You’ll teach me? Caleb are you sure? You really don’t need to, I’m sure-” Molly makes a strange choking sound. When he speaks again his voice is an octave higher and has taken on a panicked edge. “Wait! What are you-? Why-? That’s not- Caleb!”

Caleb finishes taking off his harness and removing his shirt. He takes in Mollymauk’s appearance, wondering what could have caused the shift in the tiefling tone. Molly looks frazzled, looking anywhere but in Caleb's general direction. It’s curious, in Caleb’s opinion, that Mollymauk would be so embarrassed over not knowing how to swim. It’s not Caleb’s place to judge though. 

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t serious, Mollymauk.” Caleb says as he begins to remove the rest of his clothing. He’s thankful that Jester had managed to find a secluded area for all of them.

“I’m gonna die.” Mollymauk wheezes.

“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s not that difficult.” Caleb uses the rubber band around his wrist to tie his hair back. A few stray strands fall onto his face. “Well, what are you waiting for? Strip.”

Molly moans loudly and then falls flat onto his back, almost hitting Frumpkin in the process. The familiar lets out a disgruntled hiss and then scampers away towards Nott. “I can’t believe this is happening.” He sighs and then waves Caleb off, seemingly resigned to his fate. His voice still sounds weak. “You go out there first and get used to the water or something. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Caleb nods in affirmation and makes his way to the water, a distance away from everyone else. He’s seen how enthusiastic the others had been when trying to coerce Nott to learn how to swim, and so Caleb thinks it’s best to avoid the trouble. He’s fairly certain that Molly will pick it up quickly at the very least. So Caleb lies on his back, letting the water surround him as he waits for Mollymauk. He’s so lost in thought that he isn’t expecting it when the tiefling suddenly burst out of the water, right next to him.

_“Scheisse!”_

“Sorry, sorry!” Molly apologizes, hair dripping wet. “I needed to cool my head a bit.”

Caleb’s struck for a moment, wondering when was the last time he had seen Molly without any jewelry on. Belatedly, he realizes that he might have made a mistake in offering his services to Mollymauk. The way the water droplets travel across his face is highly distracting in a way Caleb hadn’t anticipated.

“It’s fine,” He grumbles out after a moment.

“So, Professor Widogast, where do we start?” Molly asks, a hint of nervousness in his posture. His smile though is still as bright and beautiful as ever though. It’s wasted on someone like Caleb. “I’m all yours.”

Caleb hates himself a little more for how much he wants that last line to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks to everyone reading this. And thanks to everyone who has left kudos, subscribed, bookmarked and left comments. You guys are incredible. I hope you guys feel free to talk to me about whatever. I'm always so happy to read the comments.
> 
> Any mistakes are my own, as always.
> 
>  
> 
> Some fun facts:
> 
> -For purposes of this fic, Molly doesn't know how to swim really and the ocean is terrifying place to start. I'm imagining that the circus hasn't really needed him to swim at all so that's why he doesn't know.
> 
> -The manners book Molly gave Yasha is a legit thing. It IS the book she uses to press flowers in and in one of the eps in Talks Machina, Tal did mention that Molly did give Yasha a manners book so I couldn't resist adding that to the story.
> 
> -Guard of My Heart was a book in the Chastity Nook when the Mighty Nein went to Zadash.


	8. Chapter 8

Caleb is an Empire kid at heart, but he finds himself enjoying Nicodranas more than he had expected. He had never ventured out of the Empire before, never really had a reason to in the past, so Caleb is literally in new territory. It’s strangely exhilarating and extremely overwhelming.

For the most part, everyone in Nicodranas has been lively and friendly enough. None of the townspeople seem taken aback or suspicious of their ragtag group. It’s a nice change of pace from the whispers and jeers from some of the towns in the outskirts of the Empire. It’s probably the warmest reception they’ve had thus far if Caleb’s being honest. It seems like Nicodranas, as a port city, has a constant flow of people coming and going from all over the world. Some are there for business and others for pleasure. The circus doesn’t seem out of place here. It’s the perfect environment for the them to do business, with so many people looking for a good time, but it’s also exhausting for Caleb to deal with personally. 

Apart from that, Caleb has no complaints. There’s plenty to do in Nicodranas, more importantly there is plenty to _read_ in Nicodranas which makes Caleb ecstatic. Outside of circus work, everyone else has been able to keep themselves busy exploring and doing various other things.  
Fjord in particular has been enjoying himself, making frequent trips to the docks and taverns around the area. The man has come more alive ever since they’ve visited the beach. It’s like seeing the ocean again reignited something in the former sailor. It’s the most excited Caleb has seen the half-orc since he’s known the man, who usually takes things a bit too seriously. 

It comes as sort of a shock to Caleb, how much he’s picked up on the subtle changes in Fjord’s mood and actions. It’s not just Fjord either though. Caleb’s begun to learn more and more about nearly all of the other members of the circus, even those that are more reserved in nature, like Yasha. They’ve become genuine friends, he thinks. He knows that Beau comes from a well off family but has a tumultuous relationship with them, and it bothers her more than she’d care to admit. Orna used to be a follower an outlawed religion and although she fallen away from her faith she continues to wear some sort of amulet that Caleb has only caught glimpses of. Bo used to be the runt of the litter in a large family, and although they’ve had some sort of falling out he still sends them a portion of his earnings.

Caleb knows a little bit about everyone’s past save for one person.

Mollymauk. 

That man is a complete enigma. There’s so much of Mollymauk that Caleb doesn’t understand, from the fact that tiefling had been functionally illiterate to his use of blood magic. It’s as fascinating as it is frustrating. Despite his curiosity, Caleb cannot ask for any answers. For one, he doesn’t really have any right to, for another, if he does pry into Mollymauk’s past Caleb fully expects to be questioned in return and he’s not ready for that.

It’s incredibly bizarre that they’ve now known each other for months but Caleb knows absolutely nothing of Mollymauk’s life before the circus. The tiefling’s shared a countless amount of stories about his supposed past, but Caleb knows they are nothing but fanciful tales that Mollymauk has made up for some reason or another. Whenever Mollymauk tells those stories he puts on a act, much like when he is trying to convince strangers to come to their show. It’s all smiles that don’t quite reach his eyes and false bravado. It’s so fake and Caleb doesn’t understand why Mollymauk does it at all. Caleb can understand hiding one’s past, he’d be a complete hypocrite otherwise, but he has never outright lied about his past like Mollymauk. Lies, in Caleb’s experience, are tiring and have a habit of catching up with people. 

Caleb is unable to let go of his own past. Whenever he uses his own magic to produce even the tiniest flame he has to struggle against the memories of death and sorrow. He carries the weight of his actions that day in practically everything he does, so it’s difficult for him to believe that the past doesn’t affect Mollymauk in some way or another despite what the tiefling may say. There must be something in Mollymauk’s past that grounds him. A memory, a memento, a person, anything. 

It’s not like Caleb to fixate on people, but Mollymauk has once again proven to be an exception to Caleb’s rules. He doesn’t know why he gravitates towards Mollymauk, he just does. Caleb will never push for more though, nothing good will come from that. Besides, for all that Mollymauk flirts with him occasionally, Caleb’s not sure if Mollymauk’s interest in him is genuine. Even if it were, Mollymauk deserves much more than Caleb could ever give. What he feels for the other man, whatever that may be, will never be something he can ever act on. 

Caleb stops short of entering the tent and shakes his head, not letting his mind go down that specific trail of thought. He needs to stop getting so distracted when it comes to Mollymauk. He doesn’t want to endure another round of teasing from everyone else, not after what happened at the beach. He’s found that it’s incredibly difficult to teach someone how to swim in the ocean, especially when there is a very obnoxious audience involved. Once everyone realized what was going on they made it their business to either encourage, help, or embarrass the pair; some of them managed to do all three at the same time. Caleb has never been one for attention, while Mollymauk seems to always revel in it. Suffice to say Mollymauk did not learn how to swim that day. Caleb can feel his cheeks redden slightly at the thought of it. He really doesn't know how he’s somehow managed to make such loud friends. 

As he enters the tent he shares with Yasha, Nott, and Mollymauk he amends his previous thought. Not only are his friends loud but they also possess some terrible habits. “Nott, what are you doing?”

Nott immediately freezes from her position on the floor. Her back is to Caleb but he can still spot the bag she had been previously rummaging through. There’s very little Caleb wouldn’t do for his partner in crime, but he’d rather not have an angry Xorhasian woman on his hands. 

Nott turns her head towards him with a smile so wide that it makes Caleb’s own cheeks hurt just by looking at her. There’s no way it’s genuine. She fidgets from her place on the ground, still attempting to hide the bag she has in front of her. “Nothing?”

Caleb rubs the bridge of his nose, both exasperated and a little charmed by Nott’s answer. He appreciates the fact that even though there has been so much change going around, Nott still very much remains the same in a lot of ways. “Nott, I thought we had an agreement. No more stealing from the other members. You remember what happened last time? With Yuli and Mona?”

Nott visibly shivers at the reminder. The sisters, Caleb has learned, have a knack for getting even with people who have wronged them. They also have a talent for stealing as well, enough so that there is now a sort of mutual respect between Nott and the other girls based solely on theft. After that one incident a few weeks back, there has been an unspoken truce that none of the circus members would ever steal from each other. “I’m not stealing this time though!” 

“Then what are you doing?” Caleb asks, pointedly looking at the bag Nott has given up in concealing.

Nott’s mouth twitches and then flattens out in a straight line. Her eyes dart from side to side, surveying the tent even though they are the only two there at the moment. She gestures for him to come closer and when he does she attempts to whisper, “I’m trying to find clues!”

That’s not what Caleb was expecting. “Clues?”

“Clues!” Nott shouts in reply making Caleb reel back and wince at the volume. There is some sort of fire in her eyes that takes Caleb by surprise. She stares into his own eyes, searching for something. “Aren’t you worried? Don’t you want to know?”

“Know? Know about what?”

“About Molly of course!” Nott throws her hands up at this, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. She seems worked up now as she pushes herself off the floor. Caleb watches as she paces back and forth from the from one side of the tent to the other. “Don’t you want to know what he’s been doing? Where he’s been going? If we don’t have a show or another job he practically disappears on us! Who knows what he’s getting up to with Jester?”

Caleb has in fact asked Mollymauk what he has been doing recently as they haven’t been sparring or having their usual lessons as of late, but Caleb has only received a vague answer and never pushed for more. The Zemnian man would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious, but he understands boundaries.

“I thought you liked Jester?” Caleb asks in lieu of answering any of Nott’s questions. 

Nott stops in her tracks and she looks at Caleb, her shoulders are tense and eyebrows scrunched up. “I do. She’s a lot of fun and we’ve gone on adventures together and she doesn't even get that mad at me when I steal stuff from her!” Nott sounds so earnest as she talks about her new friend, but her face still looks conflicted. She begins to play with a stray piece of her hair. “I like her, I do, it’s just…” She hesitates and briefly gnaws at her lip. “I’m just worried.”

Caleb tilts his head in confusion. “Worried? About Jester? Or about Mollymauk? Or both?”

Nott takes a deep breath and sighs, almost like all the fight she has leaves her as she shakes her head. She plops down on the ground gracelessly. Caleb wordlessly moves closer and sits in front of her, waiting until she’s ready to talk. 

Nott smiles wanly at Caleb, “It’s not them I’m worried about.”

“I don’t understand. Who or what are you worried about then?” None of this makes any sense to Caleb. He would’ve understood if Nott had just felt her usual itch and had decided to take some trivial thing from her friends, but it seems to be more than that. It’s weird that it somehow involved both Mollymauk and Jester though, considering that Nott seems to be especially fond of them both.

“I know you don’t get, not right now at least, but you will. You’re very smart Caleb.” She gently pats his knee and gives him a soft smile before she curls in on herself, drawing her knees into her chest. “I just want you to know that I’ve got your back, no matter what.”

“I- Of course I know that Nott.” Caleb is actually more surprised by his own honesty than Nott’s admission. He believes in Nott no matter what. They’ve seen each other through so much horrible and dark times that Caleb can no longer picture his life without Nott in it. He cares about all the circus members to some degree, but Nott will always hold a special place in his heart. She’s the first one that Caleb’s ever allowed into his life after everything that happened with Trent Ikithon. She’s special. “I’m still confused though. What’s wrong with Mollymauk and Jester? Am I somehow involved?”

At this Nott looks away from him. She reaches to her side to grab at her flask and takes one swift sip before asking Caleb a question. “Caleb, do you like Jester?”

Caleb blinks slowly and leans back, taken off guard by the question. “I do.”

Caleb’s not even lying. Although he’s only known her for a short amount of time, he genuinely likes the mischievous blue tiefling. It’s hard not to, she’s a breath of fresh air. The wizard doesn’t think he’s met anyone else so innocent and sweet in a very long time. 

Nott’s next words knock the breath out of Caleb’s lungs. “And Molly?

“ _Ja,_ I like Mollymauk.” The words feel like a lie on his tongue. They don’t feel like they’re enough, like they don’t really encompasses all that he feels for Mollymauk. He doesn't know if he could ever honestly put down what he truly feels for Mollymauk in words. 

Caleb wouldn’t be able to articulate the warm feeling that settles in his stomach when Mollymauk wordlessly places a hot cup of tea and food in front of the wizard as he reads for hours and hours. He wouldn’t be able to describe how easy it is to talk with Mollymauk, to get lost in debates over magic or silly inconsequential things. Caleb doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to express how breathless he sometimes feels when he watches Mollymauk fight, using all his skills, his brain, and his grace to win the battle. He’d never be able to explain how much he appreciates the quiet moments with Mollymauk or how much the simple but sweet touches have come to mean to him. 

_I like Mollymauk_ barely scratches the surface of what Caleb feels.

Nott’s bright yellow eyes never leave Caleb’s. He hopes that she doesn’t see any of his inner turmoil; how one simple question has has sent him spiraling. The others may like to joke about Mollymauk’s flirting, but that’s all it ever is, a joke. None of them ever take it seriously. Caleb knows that just do it to see his reactions or tease Mollymauk who flirts as much as he breathes, all in the name of harmless fun. No one has ever confronted him about his feelings like this before. 

“Okay, Caleb, that’s enough.” Her voice is radiating understanding and acceptance. With that, Nott gets up again and then reaches out to pat Caleb’s head, who releases a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. Eventually, Nott pulls back her hand but doesn’t sit back down. She’s not as anxious as before, but Caleb can tell that she’s trying to pick her words carefully as she rocks back and forth on the balls of her feet. 

“I never really liked my old clan much. I never really fit in there.” Nott admits, her voice tight. “They were all ‘grrrr’ and ‘blaaaah’ and eating people. After I left I didn’t really think I would find anywhere I’d belong, but then I found you and then we found the circus and it all worked out somehow. I mean- well, we aren’t perfect or anything but I still really like it. I really like everyone. But it’s different with everyone, you know? We just all fit together and in different ways and that’s okay. I just get worried that it’ll fall apart sometimes and I don’t want that to happen, so I’ll do anything to make sure it won’t.”

Nott’s words touch something in Caleb’s damaged heart. He realizes that Nott sees the circus as more than just friends, she sees them as a family and she’s willing to protect it at all costs. Caleb isn’t sure he is there yet, isn’t sure if he’s capable of that level of devotion anymore, but he does care for the people he can now call his friends. He thinks briefly of the family he has lost by his own hand and his heart aches for Nott. 

“I-” Caleb begins, wanting to impart some comforting words but he realizes too late that he doesn't know what he can say. He doesn’t want to give Nott any false hope or empty promises. 

“It’s okay Caleb.”

“But Nott, I-”

The goblin woman shakes her head, her eyes downcast before they find his own again. The fire in her eyes has not dimmed in the slightest, if anything it has grown fiercer. “You don’t have to Caleb. I knew this was a bad idea from the start and I didn’t really find out anything from Molly’s stuff anyway. I just- I want to help. I want everything to work out.”

Caleb gets the feeling that there’s something he’s missing but he doesn’t have time to dwell on that while Nott confides in him like this. “I know you do and I understand, this just might not be the way to go about it. This is a good group. The people here, we all seem understand each other in some way and I don’t think anyone would endanger the circus.” He licks his lips in hesitation, wondering if what he plans to say next will give too much away. Caleb looks at Nott and his decision is made. “I believe, out of everyone, Mollymauk cares about the circus and all its members the most. He would never hurt anywhere here. He can be insensitive at times or harsh at times, but he’s a good man. Probably one of the best people I know.”

His voice is incredibly soft even to his own ears by the end of his little speech. His palms are sweaty and there’s some sort of ringing in his ears. It’s strange but Caleb feels like he’s said something that is somehow both inconsequential yet also earth shattering at the same time. 

Nott makes a short and unfamiliar sound that catches Caleb’s attention. When he looks at her it’s almost like he’s looking at a different person. He’s never seen Nott look so motherly before, that’s the only way he can think of describing the look on her face. There’s an odd mix of fondness, pride, and contentment on her face that Caleb can’t understand. 

“Yeah. Of course. You’re right, Caleb.” It’s words that Nott has said before, but now they seem to carry a deeper meaning.

The look on her face is too much for him to bare so Caleb looks away and begins to fiddle with one of the many holes on his coat. “I will let you know if I find out what he has been doing though.”

“Thank you Caleb. I’m starting to think it’ll be fine even if I don’t find out thought. I do promise that I’ll try not to snoop through our friends’ stuff again.” She says solemnly. 

“ _Ja,_ good.”

“Except maybe for maybe Beau.”

“Nott.”

“What? She finds really cool things sometimes and I’m pretty sure she steals a bunch it too! And really, if you think about it, I’m helping her. Remember, a month ago she drank that weird potion and then got arrested ‘cause she broke into one a temple and was found making out with one of the statues? That wouldn’t have happened if I had stolen the potion first!” Nott look at him expectantly, as if waiting for him to agree with her. She looks so serious and Caleb’s lips begin to twitch as he valiantly attempts to hold in his laughter, but it’s a lost cause. 

Their laughter fills the tent for quite some time.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After Caleb’s talk with Nott they both went their separate ways, Caleb choosing to remain in the tent to read while Nott wanted to explore some more of the city with Toya and Kylre. It’s one of their days off so everyone is either taking it easy or preparing for their two shows tomorrow. Caleb’s glad that his day off is peaceful for once. Usually, he somehow gets roped in whatever trouble the others manage to get involved in. He wonders if Mollymauk’s disappearance is somehow related to the calmness of his day. 

Caleb’s so engulfed in reading about past blood rituals and instances of blood magic in hopes to shed some light on Mollymauk’s abilities that he doesn’t notice anyone entering the tent. It isn’t until he hears someone spit out a series of curses that he realizes that he isn’t alone. He conjures a fire bolt immediately, ready to strike, but then recognition hits. It’s Mollymauk. 

At least he thinks it’s Mollymauk.

The figure standing right by the entryway of the tent is definitely wearing Mollymauk’s coat, that is for certain. Mollymauk’s coat is too unique to ever mistake for anyone else’s. What is throwing Caleb off is that he cannot see the man’s face at this distance as the hood is pulled up, masking the top part of the person’s face while a silky gold scarf obscures the bottom half. Caleb lets the fire bolt fizzle out, but he doesn’t necessarily let his guard down. 

The figure doesn’t seemed phased at all by Caleb's magic. “I didn’t think anyone would still be around but I should’ve known better than to underestimate our resident bookworm.” 

Caleb’s entire body seems to relax at the sound of Mollymauk’s voice. The wizard pushes himself off of the ground and as he does so he catches a glimpse of Mollymauk’s red eyes and purple skin under the hood. It’s strange to be talking to the tiefling like this. Mollymauk so rarely hides himself away, only doing so when a town has made it clear that they are less than welcoming to outsiders. 

Getting himself onto his feet, Caleb slowly makes his way towards the other man. “Why are you so covered up?”

“Oh my!” Mollymauk exclaims, hand over his chest in mock surprise. “Mr. Widogast, if you had wanted me naked all you needed to do was ask nicely!”

Caleb hopes that the sigh he lets out properly conveys his exasperation. “Mollymauk.”

“Caleb,” Mollymauk says in response and even though his face is still hidden away Caleb knows that the other man is smirking. 

Caleb waits but Mollymauk doesn’t seem to be in a rush to answer his questions. The tiefling is definitely in a playful mood. Caleb wonders if that is connected with Mollymauk’s disappearances and the fact that he seems intent with concealing his face while also testing Caleb’s patience.

They’re not getting anywhere like this. However, after months and months of traveling together Caleb knows how to handle it when Mollymauk gets like this. So Caleb just nods to Mollymauk, as if he accepts that he won’t get a straight answer out of the tiefling, and goes back to his bedroll to continue reading. He ignores Mollymauk completely.

As Caleb turns a page in his book he is aware of how Mollymauk dumbly stares at him before making his way towards his own bedroll right beside Caleb. Even as the tiefling sits down, Caleb says nothing.

Mollymauk leans over and says, “I know what you’re doing. It’s working, obviously, but I just want it to be clear that I _do_ know and I’d usually put up more of a fight but I’m far too excited right now.” He bounces up and down to emphasize this point. “You’re spoiling all my careful planning by the way. I expect compensation.” 

Caleb remains hunched over his book, still pretending to be distracted. “I find it hard to believe that you’re capable of planning.”

Mollymauk’s snort is muffled by his scarf. “It’s nice to know that you think so highly of me, darling.” His laughter eventually dies down and he composes himself. “Alright, I would like your full attention for what I’m about to do.”

Finally closing his book, Caleb’s hand lingers on the cover and he drums his fingers against it. He suddenly feels anxious for whatever Mollymauk is going to do. There’s no reason to feel like this, there’s no sign of trouble and Mollymauk isn’t testing any of his boundaries, but Caleb can’t shake his sudden nerves. His thoughts turn back to his earlier conversation with Nott and how worried she was about everything. 

“I know that I asked for you undivided attention Caleb, darling, but if you could stop looking at me like the way Beau looks at Nott while she’s eating a mouse, I’d be grateful.” As he finishes speaking Mollymauk taps Caleb’s nose.

Caleb bats the hand away and sends a glare the tiefling’s way. Mollymauk’s little stunt helped relieve some of the tension at least. He fixes his position so that he’s still comfortable on his bedroll but is now face to face with Mollymauk. “Alright, are you finally going to tell me what’s going on now?”

“I’ll do you one better! I’ll show you!” He practically purrs in excitement as his tail swishes back and forth behind him. 

One second Caleb is facing a fully covered Mollymauk and in the next the hood and the scarf are completely gone. 

“Oh,” The sound escapes Caleb’s lips without his permission and he suddenly feels winded.

Feathers.

Peacock feathers.

Vibrant blue, green, and purple peacock feathers now adorn the right side of Mollymauk’s face. On anyone else Caleb would have found them gaudy and absolutely ridiculous but on Mollymauk they look amazing. It just fits somehow. It’s like Mollymauk was always meant to have these tattoos.

When Caleb finally regains function of his mouth the first thing he says is, “You got a tattoo.”

Mollymauk’s answering grin is wide and bright, his red eyes crinkling in clear delight. He’s preening exactly like a peacock would; leaning back, hands behind him, tilting his head to the side and showing off the intricate tattoo. “I got _multiple tattoos._ ” Mollymauk says conspiratorially.

Caleb licks his lips and finds that his throat is suspiciously dry. He makes a cursory glance over Mollymauk and doesn’t spot any other obvious tattoos. Mollymauk doesn’t seem to mind Caleb’s gaze, in fact, he seems to enjoy it judging by the mischievous smirk on his face. It’s obvious that he’s waiting for Caleb to ask about them. 

“Would you-” Caleb starts and then awkwardly clears his throat. “May I see them?” 

“Of course, Caleb.” Mollymauk starts to shrug of his coat, removing it as quickly as possible, eager to show off the rest of his tattoos.

It doesn’t come as a surprise to Caleb when Mollymauk begins removing his jerkin as well. What does catch the Zemnian man off guard is when the tiefling doesn’t just stop at removing his jerkin but then begins to tug his shirt off. Initially, Caleb had expected that the other tattoos were along Molymauk’s arm and possibly one at his ankle, but it seems as though the tiefling’s tattoos are more widespread than the the wizard had thought.

Caleb’s not sure he can handle a shirtless Mollymauk like this. It was easier at the beach or when they’re with the others at a bath. In those places there is a purpose to the nudity or other things to focus on. At the beach Caleb’s attention was on the ocean or on failing how to teach Mollymauk how to swim; at the bath his goal is to get clean. Here and now there is nothing to focus on except Mollymauk.

Caleb might not have known what he was really asking for.

Just as he’s about to turn around to hide his embarrassment Mollymauk frees his right arm from the confines of his shirt and Caleb can do nothing but stare. 

“ _Du bist sehr schön._ ” 

_You are very beautiful._

Caleb wasn’t aware that he had spoken out loud until Molly abruptly stops attempting to fix his hair and look at Caleb quizzically. He smiles at Caleb despite not understanding a word of what the other man had said. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I can’t remember how it translates back in common.” Caleb lies.

Mollymauk lips twist into a pout and he doesn’t look entirely convinced but he seems to let it go with a careless shrug of his shoulders. “That’s a shame. If you ever do remember it you should tell me, you are the first person I’ve shown this to after all.”

“Of course.” Caleb agrees despite having no plans to actually follow through with that. Then Mollymauk’s words fully sink in. His head snaps up, focusing on Mollymauk’s face. “I’m the first one you’ve shown this to?”

That can’t be right. Being the first person to see this artwork that is now literally a part of Mollymauk would be too personal, too intimate. 

“That you are, Mr. Widogast.” Mollymauk says with a little bow that makes his jewelry jingle. “Well, Jester has seen bits and pieces because she was curious but you’re the first one to see it completed in all its glory.”

Mollymauk hums to himself, looking contemplative. “I’m glad though, that it was you. I was just planning on a whole dramatic big reveal sort of thing, with lots of sheer clothing and bells involved, but I like this too. A lot actually.” He leans in close and whispers in Caleb’s ear, “I do like having your eyes on me.”

As Mollymauk leans away, giggling as he does so, Caleb can feel his ears burning. He doesn’t know how to respond to any of that so he doesn’t. Instead he focuses on the tattoos. Slowly, his eyes take in sight before him. He starts from the peacock on Molly’s face and follows it down to an array of colorful flowers on his shoulder and upper arm, which eventually morphs into a serpent that wraps around his lower arm and hand. It's such an odd assortment of tattoos that Caleb can’t make sense of but he finds them mesmerizing nonetheless.

“Is this the reason you’ve been disappearing so often?” Caleb questions when he realizes that he done nothing but stare at Mollymauk’s new collection of tattoos.

“Caught me. The tattoos are something I’ve wanted for a while but I couldn’t really afford everything I wanted until recently. I mentioned it to Jester and she asked her mom who recommended some places to me and I have to say, I am not disappointed. Wait there’s some on my back too.” Mollymauk twists himself around so Caleb can get a view of his other tattoos. 

Between his shoulder blades, just below the nape of his neck, is an eye within a pyramid, illuminated by another eye above it. On one side there is a moon while a sun rests on the other side, flanking the pyramid. It’s strange but whimsical, much like the tiefling himself.

“They are all very you.” Caleb can at least admit that to the other man.

“Thank you!” Mollymauk readjusts himself until he’s back to his previous position facing Caleb. His left hand traces one of the many flowers on his upper arm. “It feels like me, if that makes any sense? I’ve wanted this for so long so it’s a little surreal that it’s finally happened.”

“I’m happy for you.” Caleb is genuinely happy for Mollymauk, although he is also a little envious of the other man too. He wishes he had that sense of contentment that Mollymauk is now emanating. 

Mollymauk makes a noise in acknowledgment. “Have you ever wanted to get a tattoo yourself?”

Caleb scratches the back of his neck awkwardly as he answers. “Actually yes. When I was younger but I never followed through with it.” 

Mollymauk sits straight up, eyes wide as he look at Caleb. “Wait really!?” He looks about ready to grab Caleb’s hand and drag him to the nearest tattoo parlor. “What did you want to get?”

Caleb hesitates, afraid that he might be giving too much away if he answers honestly. “I had wanted to get the crest of the school I had been attending at the time. It’s good that I didn’t though.” _I would have regretted it if i had gone through with it_ , he doesn’t say. He hopes that Mollymauk doesn’t try to dig any further.

As if hearing Caleb’s inner thoughts, Mollymauk let’s it go although it’s clear that he’s curious about it. “What a giant nerd.” He teases with no real heat behind his words.

“I’d rather be a giant nerd than a giant peacock.” Caleb mutters under his breath. 

“Jealousy isn’t a good look on you, my dear.” He says, holding back laughter. “Well since the young bad boy Caleb never realized his dream of getting a tattoo, would you like a closer at mine?”

Caleb mouths the words _‘Bad boy?’_ to himself, confused by the descriptor. The offer is tempting though. With the amount of people they travel with and the workload they usually undergo there might never be another time when they can have a private moment like this. 

After contemplating the pros and cons of the situation Caleb makes up his mind. He clears his throat. “Are you certain?”

“Have you ever known me not to be?” Mollymauk questions, a single eyebrow raised and a smile still on his face.

“No,” is Caleb’s immediate reply, “but that kind of attitude has gotten us trouble in the past if I remember correctly.”

A roaring laugh fills Caleb’s ears. “If you ever try to play the ‘I don’t tell jokes’ card ever again, I’m going to bring up this moment, Mr. I Remember Everything And Always Know Which Way North Is. Now enough stalling, come over here.”

Caleb obliges and moves until he is sitting on Mollymauk’s right side with almost no space between them. The tiefling extends his arm outward, twisting and turning it slowly. From his hand all the way to his neck, it’s like there isn’t an inch on Mollymauk that isn’t currently covered in one tattoo or another. In a way, it reminds Caleb of Mollymauk’s jacket: bold, spectacular, and borderline gaudy. 

A groan disrupts the silence in the tent. Caleb looks up and finds that Mollymauk has his left hand covering his face. The hand slips down until it’s just covering the tiefling’s mouth and it muffles whatever the other man is saying.

Caleb furrows his brows, “What was that?”

Letting out another sigh Mollymauk drops his hand. “I said, _of course_ you would be they type who only actually just _looks_.”

“Yes?” Caleb replies but it comes off as more of a question than a statement. “That is what you offered.”

Mollymauk waves him off and then runs his hand through his air in a frustrated manner. His hair is now a mess but it is still a good look on Mollymauk, something that Caleb finds highly unfair. If Caleb’s hair looked like that he would look even more like a homeless person than he already does.

“What I mean is that, when most people ask or are given permission to look at something they also end up touching it.” Mollymauk explains, a slight flush on his cheeks.

“Why? That makes no sense. You use your eyes to see, why would you need to touch something to see it?” Caleb asks, bewildered. As he’s questioning this though he is thrown back to a few days earlier, when Jester had asked to see his book and then she had forcibly wrenched it from his hands. When it was finally returned to him it was covered in dicks.

Mollymauk shrugs, “I’ve found that people don’t often make sense. Anyway, this has been my long-winded and unnecessary way of telling you that you can.”

“Touch you?” Caleb’s voice cracks at the last word and he’s avoiding Mollymauk’s gaze. 

Mollymauk hums in confirmation. “Yes. Feel free to move my arm however you like or move me around to get a better view of everything or whatever. Hell, feel free to poke at me, trace my scars or anything else you can think of. Have at it.”

Immediately, Caleb becomes aware of how little space there is between them and how cold his hands are. Caleb has a complex relationship with touching. He may have a habit of touching and playing with random objects but that’s just with objects. Unless he needs someone to guide him while he’s looking through Frumpkin’s eyes, Caleb rarely touches people. He is bad with people. Mollymauk knows this. But then again, Mollymauk isn’t just anyone and this isn’t so different from when Caleb needed to touch the other man when they’re sparing or when he had attempted to teach him how to swim. It’s fine. Meaningless.

Mollymauk’s arm now rests in the space between them. If Caleb can just pretend that looking at Mollymauk’s tattoos is the same as studying one of his books then everything will be fine. With that mindset he positions himself so that he’s more at an angle and is on his knees. He carefully grabs onto Mollymauk’s arm and rests it against his lap, palm side down so that the snake’s eye is facing him. 

Caleb doesn’t know what to do with his hands now. Ultimately, he decides to curl his left arm curl around himself as sort of a barrier while the right remains where it is, resting over Mollymauk’s own hand. As Caleb’s heartbeat thuds painfully in his chest, his shaky fingers trace along the outside of the snake’s head.

“You incorporated your old marks into the tattoos?” His voice is barely above a whisper.

Mollymauk’s voice comes out just as softly as Caleb’s own. “Most of them, two out of three.” He nods his head towards the direction of his hand and turns it over after Caleb’s hand falls away. The bright red eye is still there, perfectly untouched. “Found out that most places don’t really do palm tattoos and even if they do it’s ridiculously painful and can fade pretty quickly.”

It makes sense, Caleb supposes as he nods his head. Caleb’s hands somehow find its way back on Mollymauk’s skin. It almost feels like their roles are revered in a way, with Caleb touching Mollymauk instead of the other way around. Mollymauk touches people with such ease, Caleb knows that from personal experience, it’s his way of showing affection or establishing a connection but Caleb isn’t sure if the tiefling is used to people touching him in return like this. It’s not like the casual touches between friends or the lust driven exchanges from strangers. It’s intimate, but Caleb isn’t shying away from it. Absentmindedly, the wizard rubs his thumb against Mollmauk’s palm, right over the red eye.

“Wasn’t it painful to get the other tattoos though?” 

“A bit but I’m hardly a stranger to pain, darling. Besides, a little discomfort was definitely worth it for all of this. More than worth it, I can’t tell you how happy I am right now.”

Caleb huffs out a small laugh, “I had noticed.”

It’s still a wonder to him how some people can just take what they want so easily and accept happiness without guilt or worry. As his fingers trail farther up Mollymauk’s arm Caleb chances a quick glance at the tiefling’s face and decides that happiness suits Mollymauk best. Whenever Mollymauk is happy everyone else perks up, almost like Mollymauk’s happiness is contagious. Even Caleb, sad and broken as he is, cannot help but be affected by Mollymauk either, although there might be other factors involved in that. 

Tired of his own musings Caleb's attention goes back to the task at hand. The snake coiling around Mollymauk’s arm slowly disappears into an array of various flowers. As intelligent as Caleb is he doesn’t know much about flowers, never finding much point in them, but seeing them displayed on Mollmauk’s arm shines light on their appeal. It reminds Caleb of the bouquets in windows of the flower shops they’ve passed by in the town. Beautiful and extravagant, bursting with color and filled with different shapes and sizes. He knows that there are supposed meanings to certain flowers and has a sudden urge to find a book on botany.

He recognizes some of the more common flowers on Mollymauks’s arm, the daisies and forget-me-nots are the easiest to pick out and they stand out beautifully against the tiefling’s purple skin. The other flowers are a complete mystery but are just as lovely. There’s one particular flower that makes Caleb physically pause. 

It’s a bold and bright flower. It’s an eye-catching yellow-orange yet somehow it doesn’t come across as garish or gaudy. It vaguely reminds Caleb of the sun. It’s like an explosion of beauty with the way the hundreds of tiny petals seem to fan out. Even from a cursory gland, anyone would be able to tell that a lot of work went into this single flower. It’s at this flower Caleb has to stop his slow accent across Mollymauk’s arm. Gently, he traces the outline of the it, almost convinced that if he touched a petal it would actually feel like the real thing.

“See something you like?” The silence is broken by Mollymauk’s usual teasing, but there’s a hint of something else in his voice that Caleb can’t identify.

“The flowers, they are nice.” It’s a lame response but Caleb has never been good with his words. “Why flowers though?”

“Do you want the bullshit answer or the truth?”

“Isn’t it always a little bit of both with you?”

Caleb can feel Mollymauk’s body shake as he laughs. “Maybe so, Mr. Widogast, maybe so.” Clearing his throat, Mollymauk looks down at his own arm. “What it boils down to is that I like them. They’re all pretty and I liked that all of them supposedly have some sort of deeper meaning behind them.”

“ _Supposedly,_ ” Caleb mimics Mollymauk’s accent horribly on purpose. “Meaning you have no idea what any of these flowers mean despite them being permanently etched onto your body now.”

Mollymauk clicks his tongue. “You make it sound ridiculous when you put it that way. Who cares what they’re _supposed_ to mean when all that really matters is what they mean to _me_?

It’s such a simplistic thought and so utterly like Mollymauk but it still surprises Caleb. The wizard can’t comprehend how someone can live like that, with such an accepting attitude. Mollymauk takes practically everything in stride and just owns it, living life to the fullest and making people happy along the way. He constantly follows his impulses, both good and bad. It’s both worrisome and enviable.

Caleb follows up Mollymauk’s question with one of his own. “So what do they mean to you?”

A long drawn out hum is all the Caleb gets at first. “Some of them don’t have a deeper meaning besides _‘I think these are pretty and I want them.’_ Not everything needs some beautiful or tragic story behind it. The others though, well I guess those are a bit more sentimental and sappy so be prepared.”

Caleb can’t tell if that was meant to be a joke or not, but he hesitantly nods in agreement which seems to be enough for Mollymauk.

After taking a deep breath Mollymauk continues his explanation. “The rest of the flowers are for the important people in my life.” Caleb’s breathing momentarily stops but Mollymauk doesn’t seem to notices as he keep talking. “So that’s everyone in the circus and a few of the friends we’ve made along our travels. Which includes you.”

Red eyes meet blue.

They’re so close to each other now, faces only inches apart. 

The air around them feels charged, like they’re both waiting for something to happen.

If Caleb were a braver and better man he would lean in closer and-

Caleb’s eyes drop down to Mollymauk’s lips as the tiefling bites them. In all their time together, Caleb has never seen Mollymauk look so serious before. The Zemnian man feels as though he should know what’s going but his brain is too jumbled to really put the pieces together. 

“Actually, I don’t even know how to begin to explain how important _you_ are to me, Caleb Widogast.”

Silence befalls them after the admission. Caleb becomes acutely aware of how his hand now grips Mollymauk’s arm, definitely too tight to be comfortable. He’s frozen, unsure of what to do next. His palm is definitely sweaty, as is the rest of him, and his heart is pounding away furiously in his chest. His own heavy breathing and thudding of his heart are the only sounds Caleb hears. He hopes that his body isn’t shaking too obviously. Should he let go? Would it make it more awkward if he does? Would it be worse to keep his hand there? What should he say? What _can_ he say?

Something hot grips his hand, keeping it in place, and gives him a sort of anchor to ground him. “Sorry, that was probably a lot for you.” Mollymauk sounds genuinely remorseful as he says it, but his grip on Caleb’s hand is firm and sure. “I didn’t mean to overwhelm you but I wasn’t going to lie to you or keep hiding what I’m feeling either. Not anymore at least. I just want you to know that I would never want to do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable or pressure you in any way. Before anything else you are my friend and part of this family, Caleb. Whatever happens now is up to you, I’ll respect whatever you decide.” 

Caleb can feel his body tense and lock up, paralyzed by fear and anxiety. Briefly, his mind flashes back to his earlier conversation with Nott. He is attracted to Mollymauk, how could he not be? The other man is gorgeous and so full of joy, it’s hard for anyone not to be drawn to him. Then there’s also the fact that Caleb genuinely enjoys Mollymauk’s company and his curious nature. Caleb may have valiant tried to fight off his feelings but that has apparently ended in failure. 

But there are other factors at play than just their feelings for each other. 

They’re still a mystery to each other. Neither of them know of the other’s past and Caleb can’t imagine how that could not be a significant factor. If Mollymauk ever learned the truth, how could he ever want such a disgusting and deplorable man? What right would Caleb, with his many horrible sins, have to stand by Mollymauk’s side?

Tearing his hand out of Mollymauk’s grasp, Caleb looks down to the ground. He feels so much colder now but pretends that’s solely due to the loss of physical contact and nothing else. He forces his voice to work normally but it comes out hoarse with all his emotions pent up inside of him. “You’re mistaken.”

“Excuse me?” There’s hurt and disbelief coloring Mollymauk’s words.

“You’re wrong. You can’t- You don’t- You shouldn’t-” Caleb can’t put any of his thoughts into coherent sentences. He doesn’t know how to make Mollymauk understand that it could never work out between them despite how much they may both want it to. “You’re mistaken.” He repeats and silently pleads Mollymauk to understand everything he can’t say.

Caleb can’t endure anymore of this. Still without looking at Mollymauk, he pushes himself off the ground and briskly makes his way to the opening of the tent in hopes of getting some distance. He just needs to get away from all of this. Unfortunately, Mollymauk doesn’t seem satisfied with Caleb’s response. Mollymauk grabs Caleb’s arm and tugs until the man is forced to turn around. 

“Caleb that’s not an answer. You can reject me if you want, that’s fine. I mean it’ll hurt like hell but I’ll figure it out and move on, but what you can’t do is tell me what my own feelings are. You don’t get to decide what I feel or control what I do, that’s not up to you. I am my own person.” Mollymauk’s grip tighten as he speaks, but it’s never enough to really hurt. Caleb hears him take a shaky breath and then feels him let go. “I know you’re not good at stuff like this, I do, but you can’t run away from this, from me. You have to make a choice, Caleb. What do you want?”

Nothing is ever that simple or easy. Part of Caleb wants to scream at Mollymauk until he understands that, while the other part wants to embrace the tiefling and give in. What is he supposed to do? Neither option ends happily. Either he walks away from Mollymauk now or have Mollymauk inevitably walk away from him in the future when he finds out what kind of person Caleb really is. Caleb loses Mollymauk either way. 

“I-”

He’s interrupted by someone’s shouting from outside the tent. Suddenly Beau runs in looking haggard and troubled. She stops right by the tent’s opening, hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath.

“Beau, not now.” Mollymauk growls, his voice almost sounding as it does when he speaks infernal. 

Beau shakes her head, panic visible in her eyes. “Jester’s in trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE'S PLOT GOING ON? Crazy.
> 
> This chapter was honestly a struggle despite being one of the first things I had planned out for the fic? Finally Molly gets his tattoos! For those curious the flower Caleb liked was an orange chrysanthemum and that is the one that's supposed to symbolize him. There are a few meanings for this flower but I'll leave that up to you all to interpret as you like (unless you actually want my thoughts in which case you can just ask!). Also I have a few of the flowers for the others somewhere in my notes but this chapter got away from me and I couldn't really fit in what the others were anywhere.
> 
> Apologies if the German/Zemnian is wrong in this chapter, please let me know if I need to fix it!
> 
> A lot went on in the chapter and I hope that you guys enjoyed it and are looking forward to what's going to happen next! As always thank you to everyone who has left kudos, subscribed, bookmarked, or left a review in this fic! I really love and appreciate everyone's kind words. I love hearing what you guys think, it really keeps me going.
> 
> Just a note as well: I changed and added some new tags just to keep everything up to date and not as cluttered. Let me know if I missed anything. Also, as always, all the mistakes are my own, please let me know if there are any I missed! Also, in case it wasn't clear this fic will get a happy ending because I am a sucker for those.
> 
> Please come and talk to me on my tumblr (someone-who-believed) or my twitter (SomeoneBelieved)


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